To feel really down

[Eirefairy]

I have lots of reasons to be happy. A roof over my head, family, my wonderful husband. My cats. Freedom. But I feel so down so often. I struggle through work and with hobbies and sleep and missing my mum who died earlier this year so much. I'm trying to break myself out of it all the time but some days I want to be by myself and speak to no one. I'm finding things very tough but I pretend to everyone I'm doing ok. Am I being unreasonable?

OP.
Sounds like grieving to me, I'm sorry for your loss. Tell us about your mum, if you can? What was she like? Xxx

Of course you aren't. I'm so sorry about your mum. Have you spoken to your GP? I'm not saying hey go straight for anti depressants but just getting it off your chest might help a bit

No you're not being unreasonable and I hope you are okay.
I'm so sorry about your mum.
I feel like this too and I have so many wonderful things in my life and then I feel guilty for feeling so blah when I really shouldn't.
If you been like this for a while now maybe you should speak with someone, gp perhaps. I attend mental health dial ins with work which really help me and try to deal with it. My mood does brighten but if yours doesn't i do think you should seek extra help.

I'm sorry for your loss. You can feel grateful for the good things in your life whilst also feeling sad about a person that is missing from it.

Of course not. You are drowning in early grief.

It is unbearable.

Trying to appear normal is utterly exhausting.

The last thing you want is to be around people pretending you are doing ok.

You're struggling and that is ok.

Have you thought of grief counselling?
Perhaps speak to your GP.

Be honest to those closest to you.

It can be very hard, often getting harder the longer it goes on, before eventually softening a small bit with some acceptance.

You are still in the early stages.

Go easy on yourself.

Be kind to yourself op. These are hard times, even without grieving.

Let yourself be sad if you feel sad. But if you genuinely become overwhelmed by it and the feeling doesn't fade then there's no harm in chatting with your gp.

My dad died earlier this year and even though I've made my peace with his passing, life just feels utterly joyless. On a good day, I'm just existing. Going through the motions. On a bad day, things are black.

It's just grief. Time heals.

I’m so sorry for your loss - I too lost my mum 8 weeks ago.

There are many aspects of your post that I identify with. I also have so many reasons to be happy. Ye my I feel consumed with grief. I am not low in mood or depressed but incredibly anxious. I previously had health anxiety that was under control but it’s back with a bang. It’s in my head constantly even when I am busy.

My days with my girls and husband are busy, I meet with friends, I plan things. But the anxiety is always present. I too pretend that I am ok.

I hope you don’t think I am taking over your thread but I just wanted to say you aren’t alone - and like others have said you are grieving. And I think that’s my issue too. I think it just effects us in different ways. For me it’s health anxiety. For others it’s low mood, a feeling that life is joyless as @sauvignonblue has said.

I am seeing my GP on Monday and am going to look into grief counselling too. I have spoken to my husband too about how I am feeling and I think sharing it can help too.

Do you have anyone you can confide in?

I am so sorry about your mom. Its absolutely devastating losing your mom. I lost mine only a few months ago. It's the first trauma you go through in your life that you can't talk to your mom about 💔 I felt very down for a few weeks before my mom passed and have been feeling the same way since, with a few good days here and there. I have a lovely family but I feel all alone and longing for someone to "look after" me. Anyway after trying to get through it myself I had to speak to my gp and she has referred me to a psychologist. I am really looking forward to speaking to her and hopefully starting to feel better again. Please do speak to someone, grief is very hard and can cause am awful lot of pain, physically and mentally. Look after yourself x

Its sad when some one you care about dies, but they'd want you to be happy. You've got a lot going for you. Give your head a wobble and get on with life

@VeganVeal I have no doubt that you are trying to be helpful. And I agree that our mums wouldn’t want us to be sad - they would want us to live our lives.

What I will say though is that, while we knew our mum didn’t have a long life ahead of her, I have been stunned at the depth of my grief since losing my mum. Totally taken aback at the physical and emotional pain. It makes me shocked that other people around me have gone through it and I’ve not realised how bad they’ve been feeling.

And if it was as simple as giving out hear a wobble and getting on with life then we wouldn’t be here posting and the OP wouldn’t be feeling the way she feels