Why is OLD so depressing.

[Bettercallsaulette]

Been single about a year, reactivated my OLD account today, inbox became full of pointless messages from unattractive men.. Even swiping across, just nothing. I'm not overly picky but obviously there has to be an attraction there. How do you get past the feeling of OLD being so depressing.. I deactivated my account again as a result.

I thought I was fairly tech savvy but I'm lost with this post. Please explain.

Paul- online dating.

It’s so depressing because it’s soulless. There’s no thrill or mystery. I tried it on and off for several years. I stopped for good in my early 30s and decided to focus on my hobbies and take the pressure off myself. I met DH at work, I was 35.

I found i went through cycles when I was using OLD. I'd spend a few days swiping everyone, a few days starting chats, this would filter down to one or two hopefuls who may or may not turn into face to face meets and then it would either progress or start all over. I think a black sense of humour helps....and possibly being relatively open as to physical appearance (for example shorter men are often overlooked).
I have to admit I, for the most part, found it a fun distraction though. Possibly it would have been harder if I'd been doing it a long time or had a biological clock giving me a deadline. What's your current situation?

Maybe it depends which ones you use? Or how your profile is set up?

I dunno.
I found it shite as well. Maybe use a paid one.

Using the usual ones, pof, tinder,.. I was on badoo, but that one was by FAR the worse. I just deactivated my profiles on all of them. Situation is single for over a year, live on my own with my daughter. I'm in no rush to settle down. Just company and chatting to someone I miss I guess.

What’s OLD?
(Thought you meant me 🤣 I’m not depressed)

Because men, with some exceptions, are pretty bloody depressing.

Online dating Lol.

As naughtystep says, it depends what you're looking for. And possibly what app/site you're using.

Tinder and the like? Lots of fun for no-strings sex when I was younger.

Match? Where my friend met his wife. I met DH on OKCupid. They're generally set up to be more relationship-focused (not always, of course, but broadly).

Also, are you usually someone who goes purely off visual attraction? If you need to suss someone's general vibe out before you fancy them, OLD isn't going to work because a photo gives so little away and people can be much more/less attractive in person because of how they are.

And...maybe it's just not for you! I enjoyed OLD in my time because how people communicate in writing is interesting to me, it gave me a chance to weed out weirdos earlier on than e.g. meeting them in a bar and giving them my number, and - practically - it broadened my geographic 'reach' for both sex and potential relationships. But if you prefer to get someone's in-person vibe straight away, meeting someone online isn't for you!

Bettercallsaulette

Online dating Lol.“

Ah!

(Shouldn’t it be OD?)

I met my bloke in the early days of OLD. We’ve been together 23 years.

It’s soul destroying. I had some short lived relationships that weren’t worth the grief, from OLD.

Oddly, my current partner of 1 year, who I have the most relaxed and happy relationship of my life with, would have been an immediate swipe left for me if I’d met him online. He is very shy and hates photos so his photos are generally crap, he’s 6 years younger which is out of the range I would search, and he can’t spell for shit, which is something that would normally put me off straightaway. Met him in the pub, drunken one night stand that has now lasted a year . He’s tall, handsome, hilariously funny, great in bed, kind, loving and sharp as tack. Thank god for meeting people in real life!

it's soul destroying but for some it can work ( the minority). Depends on how patient you are. For me i've had loads of abuse, ended up with a stalker other horrific things. You have to have a strong stomach and sense of self esteem. You're not alone, loads of people have problems with it OP.