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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does DH behave like this

2 replies

OhFFSnevermind · 16/08/2021 11:53

He honestly does my head in. Nothing gets done unless I do it or I ask/tell him to. This morning I got the baby and DC ready whilst he told me he will get the shopping before going to work. 9am I asked him what he fancies for dinner tonight, he didn't like any or my suggestions so I thought, fine, when he goes to the supermarket he can decide and get whatever we need.

10am he's still sat there messing with his phone. 10.30am I had to say something. He disappeared upstairs and didn't leave the house until 11am. Now he will forget half the items as he will be rushing and also probably end up late for work (starts at 1pm). He always does this. When something needs doing he will sit and sit and ponder until the very last minute. He can't do things instantly like most people. When DC1 fell down the stairs he just sat there frozen looking horrified whereas my initial reaction was to jump off the sofa and tend to dc1. But this is him in regards to every aspect of daily life. It's not helped by the fact that he has piled lots of weight on in recent years and isn't fit and active so it's made him more sluggish and slow.

Unfortunately Dc1 and 2 behave like this aswell and seem to have inherited the slow moving gene. If I ask them to get something from upstairs they will take an hour faffing or get distracted. Or can never find what they are looking for. They eat at snail's pace and need to be micromanaged before leaving the house as they will end up forgetting something or another. To be honest, I'm just exhausted by it all. Physically and emotionally. In order not to dripfeed, I have noticed some elements of ASD in DH but has never been officially diagnosed. The traits are evident in his DF and an uncle also but way more obvious. He doesn't believe he has ASD and would be unwilling to pursue an assessment. Besides I don't know if his slow behaviour is linked to ASD, it might just be the way he is. DC1 has been assessed (because of me fighting hard to investigate his traits), but they didn't find ASD.

I don't know. Is this normal behaviour? Anyone else's DH like this?

OP posts:
messybun101 · 16/08/2021 12:19

Your DH is lazy
How old are DCs? It is normal that distraction causes children to stop in their tracks or have to be reminded of what they are doing. They are kids.

2bazookas · 16/08/2021 12:57

They do it because you let them. They know that sooner or later, you will do it yourself. All they have to do is wait for you to get tired of waiting for slobs. Daddy showed them how and they copied him.

He's training them to be unemployable. Then they can live at home for ever, well looked after by the unpaid servant, that;s you.

Sorry, but that;s the bottom line.

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