Fears for the future and children

[Archie1989]

I have a lot of anxiety for what is happening in the world, and this gives me a lot of fear for my son in future, that he will live through awful times due to climate change impacts and then anxiety for human nature….things like the advance of the Taliban and those poor people being left to deal with it.

Me and my husband have been trying to have a second child…..but the last month has left me questioning this. What would that child have to live through and is it selfish to bring another child into the world. I feel selfish for bringing my son into the world, knowing the heartache and difficulties he will live in due to the effects of climate change.

AIBU for worrying so much?

Me and my partner were discussing this yesterday, we always wanted 2 (don't have any currently) we thought to maybe hang fire a couple of years to see If they do have preventative measures to slow/ stop global warming first, however will likely have one.

I think the difference comparing it to the fear of bombs / wars is different as that is something that is in the hands of people and therefore isnt guaranteed to happen. Where as global warming is guaranteed to happen unless significant changes to our way of living are made.

I do think humanity will prevail in some way or another, but unless changes are made things may get very grim, wars over land as increased areas become uninhabitable from floods/fires/loss of crops/drying out of water. World hunger will increasing, poverty etc.

Even without the risk of global warming, I think jobs are going to be harder to come by with so much being automated, school places are already a struggle, as are health and social care sectors. Housing prices don't appear to be getting better. For this reason I have also thought it is best to only have one, maybe 2 children that way you can focus all your attention and efforts in providing them a good chance in the world with financial assistance.

Ultimately life will get harder, I dont necessarily think in the next few generations it will get so hard that the vast majority would wish they weren't born, but I think it's best to be prepared that life may get harder so you can plan for it (e.g start being more resourceful, gear towards careers that will be needed in future, save up, teach resilience)

Another way I see it is if now suddenly someone told me I was never allowed to eat meat, my food would could only come from UK, you are never allowed foreign travel again, you have limits on fuel to use, and towns are going to get more crowded as people are moving away from coastal areas. Would I still want to be alive and still find joy in life? Yes

In summary, i think things will get hard but not so bad that life isnt worth living, but hard enough that you need to plan ahead and think hard about the number of people you bring in to the world and how you can protect them.

“You don't know that, and it might well be.“

Of course. But only the most fringe predictions point to human extinction.

OP I feel exactly the same. Am always worried people will think I'm nuts because my anxiety over all this and the world we're living in, and will be leaving to our children is so real. I have crippling anxiety and cry several times a week over the whole corona virus situation and it most likely being with us now for hundreds of years to come in some form or another. And the whole climate change crisis, and how it's affecting our oceans, forest fires around the world, the endangered animals, the way the Internet is affecting our children and making them more susceptible to online predators, the situation in Afghanistan now and potential future terror attacks, the quality of food, cancerous substances, medical gaslighting. I have a permanent pit in my stomach and am so anxious. I feel awful because I can't protect my children from this world forever and I worry what life and the world will be like for them once they get to 40 and have young families of their own.

I even struggle watching A Handsmaid Tale because I wonder if that is the way the world is going and how life is going to be like for them. It's very eerie to watch and see similarities to our world at the moment.

Go ahead and have another child. It will be worth it in the end. If for anything, do it for your current child so they have someone in the future that will be there for them. But I completely understand where you're coming from.

Even without climate change life is cruel. Even in our supposed bubble of safety we bring children into the world knowing they will suffer pain as we all do.

I see it at the minute with my daughter, who at 20 months is the happiest little soul I've ever encountered, and I've gotten upset a few times reflecting on the fact that it can't last, and that I can't protect her from all the shit life will throw at her. Thats without an increasing spread of extreme ideologies, food and resource shortages, mass climate migration and all the problems that will bring.

Bare in mind aswell that the lifestyle you fear losing only really exists in Europe and a few other places around the world. Every year we fundraise for parts of Africa with no clean water, little food, little medicine, yet people there still have children. People lived under the Soviet Regime for nearly 50 years, they still had children and got on with life as best they can.

The world will look totally different in 50 years, just as it was so different 50 years ago to now. Life might be immeasurably harder, or it might be a better life than we can ever dream of.

Humans will always adapt. Say the world gets fucked in 20 years. I likely won't survive it, but I can bring my daughter up to have the best possible chance. When she then has children, they will only know the world they are presented with, and will live accordingly, like how kids today can't envision a time with corded phones and VHS, yet it's only yesterday to me.

Have your kids, love your kids. Give them the best life you can with the most wonderful memories, because that's all we really can do.

Of course. But only the most fringe predictions point to human extinction

Also not true.

It is an anxious times. I look at the rich and intelligent for their habits, when they're panicking stop jet setting, scrapping the world of its riches for their business then I'll go into freak out mode - they'll know more than me.
For now we all need to be very conscious of our carbon footprint, while Europe is doing well reducing child birth rates the need for pets domesticated pets has increased their food supply causing emissions.
I don't know the answer, I don't drive, I don't fly, I recycle, stopped at 2DC my guilty pleasure is shopping for tat mostly due to my budget I can't afford quality clothing and now charity shops are popular they're expensive.

If you leave your life through the media, you are bound to see yourself live in a very scary dark place. If you chose to accept that the media are the biggest business empire, that makes multi millions though making people anxious and addicted to sensationalism, and instead opt to live your life through what you experience directly, then you see that our lives are full of great people, who bring amazing things to our lives, and make it quite a fantastic world to live in.

@vivainsomnia

If you leave your life through the media, you are bound to see yourself live in a very scary dark place. If you chose to accept that the media are the biggest business empire, that makes multi millions though making people anxious and addicted to sensationalism, and instead opt to live your life through what you experience directly, then you see that our lives are full of great people, who bring amazing things to our lives, and make it quite a fantastic world to live in.

Denialism at its finest! "Don't stress about Climate change, it's just the media being sensationalist, everything is great!"

It's idiocy like this that sounds the death knell.

Mothers have always feared for their childrens' future in the face of global horrors we can't control.

What we can DO about our fears is bring up our children to be physically healthy and mentally strong and resilient . To be educated, politically aware and socially responsible. That's what gives them the best chance in the future.

Remember every day, you are blessed to live in a country with huge advantages in health, education, security. So your child has a head start. Make the most of it for their sake.

We should be worried and we should use that worry to act now. I take comfort that the mounting pressure on world leaders to adapt seems to be focussed on cop26. Do the little things that you can to contribute. Apply pressure. Consume less. Waste less. Use the car less - it makes a difference if we all do something. Donate to tree planting charities.

We can't avoid some rises in temperature and they will have a detrimental affect on our lives. But we can lessen them so it's not apocalyptic and if you look for projects and evidence on projects countries (even China and regreening) many people are acting. We just all need to do our bit and accept we can't carry on the way we are. We need to make sacrifices

We already have two DC’s and I sometimes wish I had researched more before having them, as I worry about their future now more than ever. We also planned to have at least one more child. I’m one of seven and loved it. I could probably see us with four children. But we’ve absolutely decided to stop now. But I know that’s easier for me to say when I already have 2.

How can you have another baby, knowing what you know now? How will you justify it to your child in the future, if you have made the deliberate decision to do what you know is selfish, to that child's detriment? It's immoral.
I wish I could go back in time and stop after having 1, or have no children, to be honest. Though my second DC is lovely. Your first DC will have friends - please don't justify having a 2nd child based on your first child's "need for a sibling".

People who have dedicated their lives to research and science - real experts - say the human race will be extinct well within 300 years, but most likely sooner, at around the 200-250 mark.

OP - do you really think the past was any better?

Humans have a history of effing it up. Always have an always will. Yes climate change is a problem, but the only way we can fix it as best as we can is to start fixing it.

Then you start questioning why do we exist in general? 🤷‍♀️ why let anyone live? There is also experience and lightness in life. SOME things will probably still be far better for your children than they were for you.

@bagelsandoranges

People who have dedicated their lives to research and science - real experts - say the human race will be extinct well within 300 years, but most likely sooner, at around the 200-250 mark.

Do you have any proof of thing? So depressing.

If you are that anxious about climate change, perhaps don’t have a second child. You know yourself and no child should be raised thinking they are either doomed or having a parent who feels guilty for their existence.

Yanbu to worry. We've stopped at one child and one of the reasons is the environmental impact of having children and the concerns for our only child about what he'll be dealing with in the future.

Older generations tell me there has always been something to worry about, but it's often about conflict, not climate change. It's very concerning right now.

@bagelsandoranges

People who have dedicated their lives to research and science - real experts - say the human race will be extinct well within 300 years, but most likely sooner, at around the 200-250 mark.

I want proof too. This is an extraordinary doomsday the end is nigh claim which tends to repeat itself every decade.....

It's idiocy like this that sounds the death knell
It's not about being in denial at all. It's about seeing everything as doom and gloom and ending up so anxious, all you are likely to do is bring on anxiety onto your children and make their lives miserable, not because of the future of the planet but because of the environment they grew in.

Do your best to help the planet, as everyone should, but don't let it stop you enjoy your life and more, letting your kids enjoy theirs.

Of course it denial...you post literally said "actually everything is wonderful and if you ignore the media you can be happy"

YOU are part of the problem.

YOU are part of the problem
Ok then, I'll go on enjoying my life whilst you remain miserable. I bet I'm actually doing more to look after the planet than you are but if you want to believe I'm the problem, that's your issue. It won't stop me at least making the most of what we and my children have.

I'm not miserable. You're blaming climate change on the media fgs, and telling others its nothing to worry about, of course you are part of the problem. You and everyone else who puts your head in the sand and pretends its not happening and it's all #fakenews. It's pathetic.

I don’t think that’s what Vivian was getting at. She’s simply saying you can care about the planet and do what you can whilst recognising that the media is at it’s heard a money making business and that negativity sells.

heart 🙄 stupid autocorrect!

Bring your dc up to be part of the solution. There is so much awareness now and so many projects going on that it’s easy for your dc to learn all about the issues and initiatives. Get involved.