To ask for help with chronic procrastination.

[IamFrozen]

Not really and AIBU, because I KNOW my behaviour is unreasonable. Posting for traffic. I would LOVE to hear from any chronic procrastinators out there who have managed to overcome this problem.

It is ruining my life. I fall behind with work and then stress out catching up. I lose out financially because I order things online and if they aren't right I procrastinate sending them back until it's too late. I don't exercise, I don't eat healthily, I don't go to the doctors when I should... everything is put off until tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the death of me one day.

I am not lazy. I have a history of working very hard and have burned out several times in the past. This might be at the root of the issue somehow, I'm not sure.

There is no logic why I do this. Often there is something slightly overwhelming or anxiety-provoking about the tasks I avoid, but I DO want to get them done. I can't rationalise why I can't. If I force myself to sit down to "do the thing" I just feel incredibly uncomfortable, tense, my mind freezes up, I can't focus, I have an overwhelming and impatient urge to get the hell away. It's that feeling you get when you've been on a very very long car journey and you're tired and annoyed and restless and just ITCHING to get out of the car and stretch your legs. I feel like that. I just have to get up from the table. The work often requires concentration and I just cannot focus or commit. I don't have ADHD because I was absolutely fine in school and can concentrate really wel at other times.

It's getting worse and worse and I don't know the best way to sort myself out. Maybe it's some sort of anxiety, but I can't pinpoint what exactly I am afraid of. Any ideas what I can try?

Someone on mumsnet recommended this a few years ago and I found it really helpful in understanding why, and some tips to help. I also think I may have ADD, which seems to be much more common that we realise!

waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

I put something similar up a few months ago and got sooo many helpful replies. I found I was often getting overwhelmed and burnt out, and then was making it so much harder for me to get started on anything.

I’ve started seeing a therapist which has been really helpful and I’ve been using a mixture of the methods that work for me on this post someone else shared theantiburnoutclub.com/how-to-get-motivated-to-do-anything-14-ways-to-get-and-stay-motivated/

I also really like the Forest app someone else mentioned and I’d recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear for the more habit-based stuff (cleaning, meal prepping, exercising etc).

It’s taken me a few months to get where I am now, and I still have times feeling as though everything is too much, but it’s a LOT better.

Sending and hope you find your way out of it soon OP

@IamFrozen

wow thanks *@MistySkiesAfterRain*, lots to think about there.

What helped me in the past was the last minute adrenaline-fuelled panic, but I finally pushed myself too far last year. Think massive sleep deprivation and emotional breakdown. Since then the all-nighters just don’t work, the adrenaline doesn’t come, I just fail to do what needs to be done and hate myself. The pandemic has meant I’ve been able to find an excuse for a few of my failures but soon I am going to be held accountable and I need to fix this problem.

@IamFrozen I also reached this point, it's a strategy that works when you are younger, but it's hard and takes it's toll. I'd go so far as to say it's taken me to borderline psychosis, in so far as sleep deprivation goes - talking to myself out of stress, swings of emotion. A stable base is much better. Be kind to yourself

I’m a procrastinator. I’m definitely lazy but it’s also linked to anxiety and perfectionism. I was a good student in school and uni, have a job where I must, and do, meet deadlines. But my house and health are completely neglected. I cannot make lists (perfectionism issue - I think my lists won’t look right) or visualise what needs to be done and how to do it (in terms of house work and maintenance).