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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel just a liiiiiiitle bit smug?

258 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/08/2021 18:55

We have holidayed in the UK for ages. Odd one in France but generally North Wales or the South Coast.

Go to the beach today and get sneery looks from certain groups, who were also being similarly sneery to others who were like us. Our crime? We came with a full beach set up. Pop up tent (most important!) picnic, towels, more towels, waterproof jackets and a few blankets. Yes it took some carrying (about the only thing I have found I hate about single parenting is that its all on me to carry it all!) but when the heavens opened, we went into our tent and waited it out, then when the shower had passed, out we came again. Whereas the "One bag with swim suits and a towel" mob were all in a mass panic and trying to find some shelter.

Holidays in the UK require more prep than getting your bikini on and popping to the pool! I rather suspect that there will be a lot more pop up tents on the beach tomorrow than the 4 I saw today!

Oh and yes....the seagulls will take your food out of your hands, thats why there are signs EVERYWHERE saying that its advisable not to each out in the open as the seagulls are aggressive. I saw a father read one sign, say it was probably an exagerration and then have to comfort his terrified child who had his sandwich nicked.

So yes, I do feel a tiny bit smug.

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 16/08/2021 01:32

@owlbethere

I’ve been on U.K. holidays my whole life and never taken a tent to the beach, nor have I ever seen anyone point and laugh at anyone!! Also come to South Wales it’s much nicer!.
I love Tenby! But DD has her favourite place and I didnt want to disappoint her after a very difficult few years.
OP posts:
Doublestar · 16/08/2021 01:59

We holiday in Wales and Cornwall regularly and most people take that get-up to the beach (the tent doubles as sun/rain shelter so great in all weathers).

Am I missing the point or are you holidaying in a particularly remote place that doesn't have many holiday makers?

1forAll74 · 16/08/2021 02:08

Maybe you are one of those people, who interprets just some looks from other people, as sneering at someone.. My guess,is that they may have looked at you. as you just took a load of stuff to the beach, which of course they might notice.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 16/08/2021 02:15

@Doublestar

We holiday in Wales and Cornwall regularly and most people take that get-up to the beach (the tent doubles as sun/rain shelter so great in all weathers).

Am I missing the point or are you holidaying in a particularly remote place that doesn't have many holiday makers?

No its a very popular UK destination, but it is usually very young families and retirees. There are a lot more families with tweens/teens this year

To those who think I imagined it, I say AGAIN AGAIN!!!! It was sneers. I am not that fussed about people looking at me, it was the pointing at me and DD, then at another family with a similar set up and yes, sneering in a "Have you seen THAT?!" kind of laughing way. One group openly laughed and pointed at another family who then came with the same set up, they were clearly sneering at us. But were the first off the beach when it rained.

And for those saying that when you are on the beach you are wet anyway because of the sea, we are not as we dont go in the sea thanks to being pathetic about seaweed :o

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 16/08/2021 03:13

I don't get most of the replies really, it's a really harmless sort of smug, OP is pretty much just pleased to be organised (more than others). And that her planning ensured a nice day for her and her daughter.

She didn't sit there (in her tent!) laughing maniacally and shouting encouragement to the seagulls.

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 05:52

I’m a single parent op

No busy to focus on anything other than me and the children!

And when I have kicked back and noticed m environment… I have never ever ever noticed anyone sneery. And I too tend to go OTT with planning and prep and bringing stuff.

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 05:53

Too busy

Grimacingfrog · 16/08/2021 06:21

@Fleurty

As someone who lives in a major tourist resort and visits most days, seeing both locals and tourists of both the minimalist and 'bought the kitchen sink' varieties, I can honestly say no one cares and no one sneered at you.

People do sneer at the families who pitch a tent and several win breaks in an attempt to 'claim' a quarter of the beach. And I imagine if you were sitting there looking smug at all the poor imbeciles who don't 'know what you know' then you got some funny looks for that too.

Some people prefer to take a lot, others don't. There is no right way to go tobthe beach Hmm

This.

Do you take up half the beach? And do you plonk yourself right next to someone else when there's miles of space a little further on. Because there seems to be an inverse proportion as to how much stuff someone has and how close they seem to want to put it next to other people (even when they've moved away from the car park so they don't be right next to someone else).

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 06:27

Oh I missed the pop up tent

Op, that’s selfish. They probably weren’t sneery

They were likely thinking - how inconsiderate

I tell my children - ask yourself, what if everyone did what I’m doing. It’s a good barometer to whether you’re being inconsiderate or not.

So if everyone Bought a pop up tent to the beach, it would be awful and enormously visit the number of people that would have access to and be able to enjoy the beach. Plus you wouldn’t be able to even see the sea, just a wave of pop up tents

MoonlightWanderer · 16/08/2021 06:30

Pop-up tents don’t take that much room. Don’t be so dramatic! At the beach I go to, everyone has some kind of shelter because it’s really hot and sunny. It’s fine. We all get along.

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 06:31

But if everyone bought a pop up tent?

That’s my barometer.

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 06:32

Really hot and sunny?

This is the uk.

It didn’t get higher any where in Uk yesterday than 22 degrees

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 06:32

This was not to protect against the sun.

This was to “protect” against spitting rain

girlmom21 · 16/08/2021 06:45

@minipie

Honestly if I really thought it was the kind of day where I’d need a tent, blankets and rain jackets, I wouldn’t be going to the beach.
Even if you were on a family holiday? Who cares about the weather!
ichundich · 16/08/2021 07:07

Too much effort for a holiday, sorry!

DearFrutti · 16/08/2021 07:58

Wasn't there an opposite thread a couple of weeks ago? Someone laughing at people who bring half their house to the beach?
I guess OP took it a tad bit personally and now she's trying to hit back.

deplorabelle · 16/08/2021 08:25

Well I grew up by the sea but now are 2 hours' drive away from the beach, with a DH who has a love/hate relationship with the sea. I bring shelter, food and camp chairs to the beach because otherwise, someone in the family will get uncomfortable really early on and we'd end up having to cut the day short. This way we all get to make the most of a day trip. Where I go, everyone has a beach shelter and ours is only tiny. Its main function is to keep the stuff dry in the wet or provide shade from the sun / a break from the sea breeze.

Funkyslippers · 16/08/2021 08:37

I've never taken more than towels, swimming stuff and packed lunch to a beach. I always check the weather beforehand and if it's not going to be warm and dry, I just wouldn't go to the beach

isthisareverse · 16/08/2021 08:56

Oh I missed the pop up tent

Op, that’s selfish. They probably weren’t sneery

They were likely thinking - how inconsiderate

what's inconsiderate about a pop up tent? Confused

Loud music is inconsiderate and annoying,
bbq are inconsiderate - and banned from pretty much everywhere we go
people too close are inconsiderate

but a tent? It has no effect on me, I can't see the issue.

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 09:04

@isthisareverse

Oh I missed the pop up tent

Op, that’s selfish. They probably weren’t sneery

They were likely thinking - how inconsiderate

what's inconsiderate about a pop up tent? Confused

Loud music is inconsiderate and annoying,
bbq are inconsiderate - and banned from pretty much everywhere we go
people too close are inconsiderate

but a tent? It has no effect on me, I can't see the issue.

The benchmark for whether it’s inconsiderate is to imagine if everyone did it.

And if everyone bought a pop up tent to the beach it would be ridiculous and limit the numbers that could enjoy the beach substantially

mafted · 16/08/2021 09:06

Of course people notice what others are doing. A great chunk of posts on MN are about noticing other people's behaviour.

We'd never be so rude as to point and laugh but DH and I have shared some eye rolling and comments at the beach, the types who loudly build a windbreak compound, who march around looking for a suitable spot and inevitably pick one right next to or worse in front of us, or when people sit with their backs to the sea on a calm day.
We also comment on families that look like they're having great fun, on cute toddlers loving the beach, an older couple snoozing in chairs that remind us of our grandparents, excellent sand castle building or kite flying skills.

isthisareverse · 16/08/2021 09:07

I guess it depends on the size of the beach, and the size of the tent Grin

When people set up camp, they tend to do it at the top of the beach so they don't move with the tides, leaving the area closest to the sea free for the rest of us, I quite like that.

isthisareverse · 16/08/2021 09:09

Of course people notice what others are doing.

you notice what is bang in front of you, but I assure you some of us are actively trying to have the sea to look at, and no one in between!

It makes for some embarrassing incidents when someone has their belongings stolen next to you, and you genuinely haven't noticed anything.

Marmitemarinaded · 16/08/2021 09:21

@isthisareverse

I guess it depends on the size of the beach, and the size of the tent Grin

When people set up camp, they tend to do it at the top of the beach so they don't move with the tides, leaving the area closest to the sea free for the rest of us, I quite like that.

Op says “very popular destination” So I’m guessing very busy yesterday
Abitlost2 · 16/08/2021 09:22

@PyongyangKipperbang we live on the west coast of Ireland and have always lived beside a beach, we swim all year round and generally have a towel, swimming togs and hot flask on our person! I don't like spending hours and hours on a beach anyway. We have also been abroad a lot with the kids and it's been absolutely fantastic but same rules really, actually potentially need a bit more kit with the heat.
Tbh I really dislike am attitude of othering "oh these blow-ins, people used to foreign holidays haven't a clue", no one knows what other people's stories are, maybe they prefer to keep it simple etc. It's also great if you find your organisation helps you also , I just like to be able to get up quickly or through everything on my back and head off.