Looking for some MN advice please.
Background:
Separated from exH in 2016 after years of emotional and controlling abuse towards me and the kids and and sexual abuse towards me. He was removed by police but not enough evidence to charge him. SS said no threat to the boys so they advised he should be allowed contact.
So they see their dad eow for overnight contact. They are now 11 & 7.
My youngest DS has some additional needs and suffers from encopresis. He is under a consultant at the hospital for this. After many years treatment we are now happily at the point where it is being managed well with a stimulant laxative every night to make sure he goes every morning - the result is often explosive but DS2 has been able to get it in the toilet for the last 8 months which is another huge achievement.
Except exH refuses to give him the medicine when he is there. I know this because it breaks DS2 toileting rhythm. If he hasn’t had his medicine on Saturday night he then won’t be able to ‘go’ by himself on Sunday and sometimes it takes to Tuesday before he will be able to go again.
When I first questioned him (because DS2 said daddy had forgotten), he would say he’d simply forgotten, or deny it and say DS2 was not being truthful.
But then he had them for a whole week. When I got the bottle back it had not gone down at all. A bottle lasts a month so a quarter of the bottle should have been gone.
Again he denied it, said he’s only forgotten one day. I challenged him on that because I knew how much it should have gone down after a week. No reply.
So they went for the weekend again this weekend. This time I discreetly marked the bottle so I could tell easily if he’d had his dose.
The bottle has come back with half the contents gone!! Which would be the equivalent of 4/5 doses. So I suspect he knew I would check the level so just pupated some away - but because he’s not too bright he didn’t think to measure put and dispose of one dose, he just ‘guessed’.
I’ve messaged him to ask what has happened to the medicine as half the bottle is gone (4/5doses). No reply yet.
WTF do I do? He clearly won’t give the medicine - probably because he doesn’t want to have to ‘deal’ with any poo the next morning (DS2 still has a nappy at night as he does not have full control and on occasion he does his explosive poo in the nappy overnight or as soon has he wakes - but 95% of the time he gets to the loo).