Can’t think of another word for it. Everything in isolation is grand - i am lucky to be healthy, married to a good man I really love, have two fab little kids, live in a (heavily mortgaged and not wholly structurally secure but hey) home and enjoy my job very much. Pay could be better - currently earning less in real terms than when I got the job eight years ago - but it’s secure and enjoyable if sometimes all consuming.
I’m also: significantly and increasingly overweight, unavoidably doing way more domestic stuff than I have time for - DH is under threat of redundancy and his boss is a bully, he’s looking actively for other roles but little out there so works all hours because he basically has to, constantly feeling like i am behind on every front - work, home, family, to the point I struggle to sleep and often feel my chest is tight and i’m short of breath with worry and guilt. Any small thing - for example this week our previously pretty easy two year old has discovered tantrums and really going bananas if told not to throw food / kick me on a bus or something for ages - makes me feel like I am going to scream or just lose it. When ds was like this (he’s now 5) I didn’t love it but was calm and together enough to just manage it and understand it would pass but now everything feels like - crisis.
I know the smart stuff: make sure I exercise, don’t eat crap, lists, etc - I just struggle to keep any of it up and find myself googling flipping energy healing or “life hacks” and it just makes me feel more foggy and sluggish and like it just incompetent and at the same time under appreciated and eugh.
Has anyone managed to kick themselves up thw bum to get out of this sort of crap low energy misery?