To say that my almost 3 year old is really hard work!

[wingingit987]

My lb is 3 next month and I'm just wondering is it the norm for them to be this much hard work it's exhausting.

He's like a whippet runs at the speed of light but cry's and screams multiple times a day (mini tantrums) He doesn't listen to anything I say and if I ask him not to do something he will smirk at me and say no. He's quite destructive at the moment I'm finding he's trying to break things and throwing toys.

He will run off when out he's 100 times better than he was but really difficult on my one with the baby aswell.

A little while ago I was worried about his speech but I don't think that's the case anymore as hes able to back chat me really well.

I hate writing this as I currently have a month old baby and I feel I've turned his life upside down but my god he's driving me mad. He's very involved in the baby I've tried to make him mummy's little helper which is abit of a hit and a miss. He's not all bad obviously I love him to bits he very loving.

I think im just looking for some reassurance or advice.

From one very tired mum.

I have a 3.5 year old and it's normal. Warrior's post above was really useful. Mine never stops unless we plonk him in front of a screen. He is gorgeous though.

I’ve never found it a good idea to try reasoning with a tantrumming child, after working with kids for years and having four of my own

Reasoning, no, that can wait til later if at all. But ignoring seems pretty harsh. When mine kicks off I let her know I can see she's upset and can come for a cuddle any time she wants, I figure that all behaviour is just communication and at that age a tantrum is the only way they know how.

I could never just ignore my tantrumming child - I want her to know that all emotions are ok and I'm here for her no matter what. We name the feeling, acknowledge it and wait for her to ride it out.

Don't get me wrong it's tiresome at times and I have to suppress an eye roll when she's shrieking at being presented with the wrong flavour of crisps but in her world that's a big deal! I guess every family is different.

I can't claim to know it all, I only have 2 kids but I was a family support worker for 5 years, and a youth worker for 5 before that, and all I can promise OP is that in a years time it'll be different!

Totally normal. A lot of people find toddlers and preschoolers the hardest age. They make babies look like cute pot plants in comparison 😂

I believe people refer to three year olds as ‘threenagers’ and it totally makes sense. People talk about the terrible twos but I’ve never experienced this personally, it’s always been three and four until they start school really. They’re total tyrants.

Sounds normal to me op it's really hard going from 1 to 2 kids (mine have a 2.4 year gap and the eldest is 3.5). The new baby is a huge upheaval for everybody and it sounds like your DS is testing the boundaries a bit. Hang in there!

I have a 3.5yr old and a 6mth old.
Don't underestimate the effect that the Pandemic has had on them at this age - my toddler lost his grandparents, friends, family and nursery overnight and was too young to understand why. He had to go back into isolation for 2mths before baby was born due to a high risk pregnancy. When he returned to nursery he was suddenly in preschool with new staff. He then had a baby at home who essentially took his place in Mammy's arms, who even took his place in Mammy's bed. The amount of change he's had to deal with makes me cry 😢

The first 4mths of DDs life he was horrendous, tantrums, defiant, naughty behaviour, hitting, running away. We were firm, but kind and patient, when he screamed he hated me I would just tell him I loved him so much. I have not once not read his bedtime story or lay with him to sleep and have gave lots of praise. He's now back to being completely adorable, kind, well mannered, does as he's asked and loves his new big brother role. He absolutely adores his baby sister.
My advice is just weather the storm and love him. It will pass.

It's a very draining age, to the point that I feel exhausted just remembering it. It gets better though, and I noticed the kids that were awful at 2 mellowed out (somewhat) whereas the ones that were delightful at 2 turned savage (temporarily) later.

Have had and exceptionally grumpy 3 year old this morning. I think we've done too much on holiday.

Found this which I found is helpful. Sometime they just are.

www.janetlansbury.com/2018/08/exhausted-by-a-childs-whining-and-crankiness/

@Hemingwaycat

I believe people refer to three year olds as ‘threenagers’ and it totally makes sense. People talk about the terrible twos but I’ve never experienced this personally, it’s always been three and four until they start school really. They’re total tyrants.

Was discussing exactly this with my sister yesterday. She has a just 5 yr old who is starting to be more reasonable.

My 8 yr old is now great, though I think the tweens are looming...