I’m really upset thinking if the type of mother that raised me.
I never felt loved or wanted. She told me on many occasions she never wanted me. She never looked after me and I basically looked after myself from a young age. I remember climbing on chairs to get food for myself. She would leave me alone all the time with older siblings and male relatives in the house. You can imagine what happened to me. I’ve had councelling for most my life so I am dealing with it but it still hurts me a lot thinking how neglectful she was. Even when she found out about the abuse she didn’t care at all.
I feel broken. Yes I’m married now abs have my kids snd might seem “normal” but I’m so damaged abs broken snd I’m worried I’ll always be like this.
I remember in my early teens being so angry at her and people used to comment that she “spoilt” me by giving me thing - like wtf! She did nothing for me but that’s the image she liked to portray that she was too nice and spoilt me little did people know how emotionally abusive she was to me. When other relatives found out about the sexual abuse she would tell them I’m making it up gor attention.
I hate this woman. She’s still alive and I still visit her as she’s my mum but I get times like today when I can’t sleep and think of how awful she is. Not once has she ever spoken to me about the abuse or anything. She always tells me she did her best.