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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be mad?

17 replies

Throughtheforest2 · 14/08/2021 21:49

DH has had an injury for past couple of weeks, getting better and I’ve been covering things so he can rest (we both work full time and have 2 young DC)
Today we had a day out booked and would’ve been too much for injury which I get, so thought I’d take DC and give him a proper rest for the day.
He can do things but can’t be walking too much.
I don’t trouble him at all in the morning so he stays in bed while I’m up with DC /prepping for day out etc.
Get home at 4pm.
He’s not even showered or put the dishwasher on / kitchen is a mess. Just made his own lunch to pile on the mess.
He then goes off for nearly an hour to have a shower.
I’m shattered and ask him to help with kids.
He takes one off to the playroom, I thought to do colouring in activity thing that youngest needs help with but then I hear him snoring and find DC with pens / no help with the activity.
When I get annoyed he says he has a headache but apparently hadn’t thought to take pills. So I get him some.
Later on he again falls asleep next to youngest and just gives her tablet, while I’m giving the other a bath.
When it comes to bedtimes, I get youngest off to sleep and he comes and gets me as says other one wants me to help to go to sleep. Turns out that DC is hungry but DH just told him to stop crying or his tablet will go in the bin (which he’d been letting him play in bed at bedtime instead of making an effort to read a book/ make stories)
He’s also been farting and it is seriously stinking the place out. Just to wind me up more!
I’m so mad. Doing nothing all day and plenty of time to relax, but then not really helping out at all when we get back. Like he can’t be bothered. But I’ll be the unreasonable one for getting mad.
I’m exhausted after the last couple of weeks.
Feel taken for granted.

OP posts:
Apeirogon · 14/08/2021 21:53

Ah this is a tricky one OP! It does sound like he is still recovering and not fully back up to speed yet, but obviously you are tired too from doing the extra work for the last two weeks.

If you both work full time and have two little ones then it's hard enough even when you're both fit and well!

If he's normally good at sharing the load evenly then I'd cut him a bit of slack on this occasion.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2021 21:58

You are being taken for granted, so it's no wonder you're pissed off. If he was able to make his own lunch he's capable of cleaning up after himself. You weren't expecting him to work miracles, but he did absolutely fuck all. He couldn't even be bothered to interact with his kids. Selfish prick.

Throughtheforest2 · 14/08/2021 21:58

The injury wouldn’t make him tired, etc, just makes him hobble around! And less so now.
If that makes a difference?!

OP posts:
Waspsarearseholes · 14/08/2021 21:58

He's been a complete arse. Can you imagine if women were allowed to be as unwell as men? Things would grind to a very sudden halt very fucking quickly.
OP, it sounds as though your husband has got used to being injured and expected to not have to do anything. It's crossing over into taking the piss now though.

Singinginshower · 14/08/2021 22:01

Why is he falling asleep in the daytime?

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/08/2021 22:02

Injuries do in fact make you tired. Your body expends a lot of energy just healing. Otherwise we wouldn’t have hospitals with beds!

Honestly the fact he is falling asleep trying to help out means he’s not getting enough rest.

It is frustrating for you to have to pick up after him, but that’s what it is with young DC and an an injured partner in the house. But you can’t really blame him. It’s not on purpose. He’s injured.

Throughtheforest2 · 14/08/2021 22:02

And just to make sure I am being fair, as I might show him this thread. He did chuck potato waffles, fish fingers and beans on for the kids. Then I stepped in to make sure they got some fruit after. But otherwise like being in the house with a zombie. I don’t get it. And I refuse to clean the kitchen.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 14/08/2021 22:04

Can you imagine if women were allowed to be as unwell as men?

Women are allowed. Never stopped me.

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/08/2021 22:05

Why would you refuse to clean the kitchen? That’s just deliberately disgusting.

Throughtheforest2 · 14/08/2021 22:05

Was trying not to be outing but basically it’s some tissue damage in foot. Not bone fracture. Trying not to be insensitive but would it really make him that sleepy?!
He has previous for this kind of behaviour / falling asleep so I’m dubious

OP posts:
Throughtheforest2 · 14/08/2021 22:07

Grin I must be disgusting.

Because I’ve been running around all day and he’s done sod all. I think he should do it. We’ve not been in all day, it’s not that bad!

OP posts:
Feelingmardy · 14/08/2021 23:09

@Throughtheforest2

Was trying not to be outing but basically it’s some tissue damage in foot. Not bone fracture. Trying not to be insensitive but would it really make him that sleepy?! He has previous for this kind of behaviour / falling asleep so I’m dubious
The pain killera could. What is he taking?
Throughtheforest2 · 14/08/2021 23:27

Paracetamol. But not taken that for a week. Only had tonight for his headache. That appeared after I first got annoyed with him. Foot doesn’t hurt unless he puts weight on it.

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 14/08/2021 23:35

I'd say he needs to get back to the docs for more medication - and something to assist his stomach as endless paracetamol can have an impact in this area as you have found.

If he refuses then clearly he is fine and needs to crack on. Business as usual!

Theunamedcat · 14/08/2021 23:46

Beer gives you horrendous farts

Monty27 · 14/08/2021 23:53

Pain relief and healing require lots of rest and sleep a nurse in hospital told me one time OP
I made her right.

billy1966 · 15/08/2021 00:46

He sounds lazy and selfish and you say he has form.

He's a waster and a shit father.

OP,
Don't have anymore children and think long and hard do you want to spend your life with a lazy waster that clearly is a crap father.

You deserve better.Flowers

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