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Husband Not Engaging With Family

2 replies

Clareanscombe1964 · 14/08/2021 15:13

Looking for advice or to be told I’m being totally unreasonable as any honesty is welcome. We moved to our first home after both being previously married in Dec 20 with our little girl, now 3 and me pregnant with our second.
Fast forward and I’m on maternity leave and I’d hoped we’d use this time as a family. We have long weekends all at home, husband has given up work etc but it seems any request to spend time with us is unreasonable and not a priority. He reels off an endless list of jobs he has to do, without accepting any help when offered. I’ve explained to him that I really appreciate what he’s doing but the jobs will always come back around, time with his family won’t and he just doesn’t take it in.
It’s meant our wonderful little girl has started to play for bad attention, I can’t do everything she wants if I’m also trying to soothe a newborn. Recently she was banging her foot against the wall as I was feeding my son, she was so bored and wanting of play time. I’d told her to stop but didn’t want to rise to it, he came in and smacked her leg away which I was livid about. I told him to apologise to her and when she was outside the room I basically told him how unhappy and disappointed I was that he’d done that. He explained he was annoyed he couldn’t paint the wardbrobes. I’m really at the end of my tether with it and just can’t help but think he’s not happy with his life, his brother and fam came to visit and all he did was moan to them about everything being sh*t - the weather, the food, the takeaways, the area.
Am I being unreasonable to be so annoyed at this? I’m seriously starting to consider us moving out on our own as I can afford it thankfully as I’d rather our children grow up with happy parents!

OP posts:
Skiptheheartsandflowers · 14/08/2021 15:17

So he rarely spends time with the kids on a weekend and certainly doesn't take care of them on his own? Sod that. When do you get to go anywhere and do anything you want to do?

I would be telling him he's making being a single parent look very attractive at the moment, as he doesn't do childcare anyway and then you'd at least know where you stand.

Clareanscombe1964 · 14/08/2021 15:20

In his defence he does take her to nursery and he will help but I almost have to book the time out (no joke) and collectively, with all of us he’s just not interested.
He counts having a bath as a job he needs to do on top of all his other jobs and I’m like, mate I’m lucky if I have 5 minutes to go for a wee let alone have a bath!!

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