Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To be silently seething about woman on phone on bus

38 replies

LemonViolet · 14/08/2021 14:42

On my way to work, usually drive but car is out of action so on the bus. It’s crowded and not easy to stay socially distanced but people are trying their best to choose where to sit apart from others, about 90% wearing masks (TFL still require masks unless exempt).

Lady across from me has spent last 10 minutes having VERY loud conversation on her phone. Which is rude enough in itself on public transport, but she is doing it with no mask on (no obvious exemption badge/lanyard) and the cherry on top was when she got up and leant across the people in front of her to close the bloody window!! Errr, ventilation!!! No why not just trap us all in here with the hot air you’ve been spewing out for the last 10 minutes. I know far too much about her now from being forced to listen to her talking, I don’t want to confront her.

So I’m just sat here silently seething. And posting on MN about it.

Yes I know people who are exempt don’t have to wear a badge, but IME most people do to avoid upsetting others. And if they were self aware at all would understand the increased risks of transmission with having loud conversations for extended period of time, and reducing ventilation!

Very frustrating.

OP posts:

Errno · 14/08/2021 14:50

Yep, very annoying. I’ve also noticed on public transport it’s the ones without masks talking really loudly on the phone. If you can’t or don’t want to wear a mask at least keep your bloody mouth shut. We don’t all want to breathe in your germs!

It seems the scientific evidence of mask, ventilation and social distance to help slow the spread has passed many by. Or they just don’t give a shit about others, more likely.

girlmom21 · 14/08/2021 14:52

I think YABU. Maybe it's the only bit of time she gets to herself and she wanted a catch up with a friend.

She's not wearing a mask so we should assume she's exempt. The lack of mask tells you that. She doesn't need a lanyard to highlight it too.

FleasInMyKnees · 14/08/2021 14:54

Are there other people still in the bus, do any of them look likely to get up and open the window. I cant bear people like this, I bet the conversation was extremely boring.

woodhill · 14/08/2021 14:54

I wish people would conduct their long phone conversations in private. So distracting and annoying

urbanbuddha · 14/08/2021 14:55

The lack of mask tells you that.

The only thing the lack of a mask tells you is that someone's not wearing a mask.

If someone closed the window on a bus I would open it again. I'm done with the stupids.

superram · 14/08/2021 14:56

@girlmom21

I think YABU. Maybe it's the only bit of time she gets to herself and she wanted a catch up with a friend.

She's not wearing a mask so we should assume she's exempt. The lack of mask tells you that. She doesn't need a lanyard to highlight it too.

When I have time to myself I don’t feel the need to inflict myself on others. I talk at a low volume because I’m not selfish and inconsiderate.

Mmicro · 14/08/2021 14:57

I feel your pain. It gives me the rage so I never leave home without headphones if I’m getting public transport.
I once had to sit through an entire train journey with a man talking to his girlfriend on loudspeaker, having an extremely personal conversation. About a minute before I was getting off and he realised “oh shit you’re on loudspeaker” and then she swore at him A LOT (still on loudspeaker) .

HoppingPavlova · 14/08/2021 14:59

Some people are just dicks. Has always been this way. Will always be this way.

pigsDOfly · 14/08/2021 15:03

She's not wearing a mask so we should assume she's exempt. The lack of mask tells you that. She doesn't need a lanyard to highlight it too.

The lack of a mask doesn't indicate that a person is exempt.

My DD got on a very crowded bus a couple of days ago in her home town where the new infection rates are one of the highest in the country.

Apart from her and her DP no one else was wearing a mask.

What are the odds that every single person on a crowded bus is exempt? Pretty slim I imagine.

KeyboardWorriers · 14/08/2021 15:06

I hate people who don't show consideration for others. loud music/phone conversations etc.

ilovesooty · 14/08/2021 15:06

I think you're unreasonable to be silently seething. Why not ask her to keep her voice down and / or open the window? If you don't feel you can address the situation there seems little point in getting worked up about it.

Givemebackmylilo · 14/08/2021 15:08

I hope you're life isn't too stressful if you get wound up by such little things

Nancydrawn · 14/08/2021 15:23

I'd re-open the window.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/08/2021 15:40

First time I ever said anything was to a woman on the bus, yacking non stop to a friend, with her mask on her chin.

As I got off I said, ‘You do know it’s no use wearing a mask unless it covers your nose and mouth?’

‘Oh, I know,’ she said, ‘but it steams up my glasses!’

Though at least she didn’t tell tell me to fuck off, which I suspect is the reply I’d get from many mask dodgers.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 14/08/2021 15:42

Just ask the others actually sitting by the window if they mind if you open it for ventilation. If she tries to close it again or anything just simply point out that the bus needs ventilation to protect everyone including her and as she is exempt she should understand that.

Original poster

LemonViolet · 14/08/2021 15:47

Haha - my job is immensely stressful, this week I am 1 of 5 people in my role working, thanks to Covid. So yes, selfishness about this kind of thing definitely gets to me!!!

She thankfully got off shortly after I posted. I opened the window again immediately. To do so beforehand would have meant me leaning over people and possibly starting a verbal confrontation on a crowded bus….wouldn’t have helped covid safety!

OP posts:

dworky · 14/08/2021 16:01

Oh god, you don't want to get me started on this subject. It is the fecking scourge of public transport.

I'm hoping for the implementation of a blocking device for all voice calls on buses & trains. Only texts allowed, thank you please.

WhereHasAllTheYogurtGone · 14/08/2021 16:02

I absolutely despise fresh air phobics on public transport.

Boiling hot bus interior and some cunt gets up and shuts the window.

I have some breathing issues and hot air is torture to breathe. I also become faint and delirious if I get too warm. If the temperature hits 26C, I literally melt. It's to do with medication that affects my muscle tissue. I struggle with face coverings for this reason but I still wear one because I don't want to aspirate my droplets over other people.

Junipersky · 14/08/2021 16:05

She probably didn't realise the extent of your annoyance (unless she happens to read Mumsnet).
Sometimes it's surprising how obliging people can be if you confront then about it.
Yes, some will bite your head off, but with others it is a case of lack of awareness or simply not considering the feelings of others around them.
It's sometimes easy forget the people around us when deep in a telephone conversation.
Often (if they are decent people) a gentle reminder is all they need.

blacksax · 14/08/2021 16:09

@girlmom21

I think YABU. Maybe it's the only bit of time she gets to herself and she wanted a catch up with a friend.

She's not wearing a mask so we should assume she's exempt. The lack of mask tells you that. She doesn't need a lanyard to highlight it too.

Or maybe she's just a selfish cow.

NCBlossom · 14/08/2021 16:11

Yes I’ve just come over from Ireland where masks are still mandatory on all public transport - and been totally shocked by the amount of selfish people talking/laughing REALLY LOUDLY practically in my child’s face.

I’m taking more ‘risks’ myself, calculated ones, for work and to help my family, and see relatives. However I still don’t put anyone else at risk from me by wearing a mask.

But if I get Covid just from some lazy ass who can’t be bothered I’ll be very very cross!

bringincrazyback · 14/08/2021 16:13

YANBU, she sounds socially clueless or else just selfish.

NCBlossom · 14/08/2021 16:16

I struggle with face coverings for this reason but I still wear one because I don't want to aspirate my droplets over other people.

Good for you and I thank you for it. Yes there are a few exceptions where people genuinely cannot wear a mask. However my 83 year old relative with severe COPD wears one, (and hates it but would never put others at risk). Another child I know with severe ASD wears one… it really often is the division between selfish and unselfish on the whole.

Blinky21 · 14/08/2021 16:16

People who don't wear masks, 1 per cent exempt, 99 per cent, plain selfish. I'd have passive aggressively opened the window while coughing on her

NCBlossom · 14/08/2021 16:20

@Blinky21 totally agree!

One major thing I’ve noticed in England is that the ‘Do what you want’ Covid strategy is extremely divisive - people have to take public transport and have little choice about who with. It is really awful to see some people on buses and trains here looking genuinely a bit fearful as a big crowd of unmasked people (as I saw today, bunch of football fans) come into the carriage. It’s like dog eat dog - where the vulnerable get totally ignored.

Flip

1 2