To wonder where the families with teen dc all are?

[cwtchtime]

Just come back from a week away with my two dc aged 12 and 14 - boys. A they get older I do a lot of people watching as they talk a lot to each other/read/are generally independent, and I noticed there were hardly ever any dc their ages anywhere we went. We were in a touristy area of the UK and visited museums, a castle, a steam engine, beaches, country parks. Are we so unusual in visiting these types of places together?

They aren't into activities like zip wires/climbing etc or even swimming or other watersports, so those are out. I'm a lp and have often felt conscious of all the 'perfect' families I'm surrounded by, though have definitely got used to it and I'm not really bothered, but this has now made me feel even more that we are unusual, not that that's a bad thing I suppose.

We had a lovely holiday but I just wondered - where are all the teens/older pre-teens?!

To be honest covid allowing we just choose holidays these days that our dc will enjoy. If they're happy, we're happy and DH and I hopefully have plenty of years to visit places we want to go when they stop coming with us.

DC would choose a big all inclusive resort or a city break. Or something like Florida. Obviously the last 18 months has hampered that but looking at your list:

museums, a castle, a steam engine, beaches, country parks.

They are just not the sorts of things they enjoy doing these days. Especially ones that are U.K. based. We could drag them round but where's the fun in that.

We were just in Bath and we were struck by the opposite, there were lots of families with teens wandering around and in the museums and bookshops

I’m just back from Dorset and plenty of teens there on the beach/in cafes and restaurants/ just walking around. Maybe not other places like museums but the places we went to were aimed at small children so they wouldn’t have been there.

We usually go abroad for holidays and my 16yo is still more than happy to hang out with us, as long as she gets plenty of time with her friends as well. We haven't bothered going away this year.

If we did holiday in the UK, we would probably be doing lots of long walks or sitting in nice cafés with good books rather than going to a lot of the destinations that you have mentioned. We might do museums in moderation, but honestly, none of us are that bothered about them unless they're really good. Castles -same. Steam trains - not interested. Beach - not really our thing and definitely not in the UK. Country parks? Maybe but not if they're crowded.

Generally speaking our teens (14 and 17) like to go out for meals, visit our local city for 'cool' shops, go charity shop hunting, escape rooms, local theatre, gigs, festivals etc

We're staycationing this year (in the sense of actually staying at home) and are visiting some museums etc we used to go when they were little but now can't really remember. We'll also be checking out the new Banksys!

We've been away with our late teens, done nights in various northern cities - there are loads of families with teens around!

Btw we've had lots of street food, found interesting bars, looked for murals they'd seen on Instagram, found independent shops, street art.

We've spent time together and apart.

Lots for teens to do in cities.

Ah see we’re the ones doing all the watersports and things that your DC aren’t into, everyone is different and there’s no ‘right’ way to spend the summer!

My kids are 16, 15 and 13 and we do these sorts of days out all the time, not particular history buffs but interesting enough days out (and lots free with NT membership). 16 year old sometimes doesn’t come as other plans or working but generally enjoys coming with us

My two teens 14 & 15 dd always come on days out, they have a couple of days a week out with friends and rest with family

Holiday this month with our pre-teen and two early teen cousins they spent most of it in the holiday cottage on their devices(nintendo switches, ipads, xbox had all been carried over). They refused to come for cafe breakfasts and nice lunches and lived mostly on oven chips and toast which they made themselves. The adults went out and had a great time. Result.

We are in Portugal with our 17 and 9 year old atm. The 19 year old is happy mooching but also doing stuff. He loves anything activity based. The17 year old is so non - embracing of life it’s horrifying. Hates beaches, heat , sand, paddle boards but also mountains, snow and skiing. Basically I could save a fortune and leave her at home with Grey’s Anatomy. Shé’d be delighted.

@Wombat64

We used to go on holiday to Canada & it struck us there were far more families with olders teens out & about, eating & socialising together than we'd ever seen in the UK.

I'm Canadian and agree with this. I was baffled when living in the UK and it was more common for teens to just opt out at that age. There's pros and cons to each way I'd say.

We stopped family holidays when my DCs were in their teens because we got sick fed up spending thousands on holidays when all they wanted to do was lie in bed until midday

Mine will still come on city breaks with me so we do a lot of them. Off to London next week. They're pretty easy going when we get there so we always have a good time.

We do go on holiday but teen ds tends to go off on his own to do different activities nearby or hang out in the accommodation. He does things like beaches and paddle boarding and if made to join us just sits there with his book! He joins us more on holiday than at home.

PP are right that this week probably not best week due to exams - we cut our holiday short to get back for results (as we booked before they announced GCSE results would be early). But on holiday with DC14/16, we did country parks, museums, NT houses/gardens/parkland, castle, cave tour. So similar to you. Also played tennis and did a couple of bike rides. Only thing they outright rejected was a steam train. And we ate out a lot. And we do similar day trips in school holidays and weekends. They don’t always enjoy it but enjoy most of it. My rule is that they can’t stay in the house all day but have to get out and do something (even if just a local walk or pop down to the shops). I’d be happy if that was on their own or with friends but it rarely is so we do these sort of outings. They still have plenty of time at home on screens etc.

But I know of many families where that isn’t the norm- but then for some they never did that sort of thing when they were little either - some for money reasons, some because their DC spent most of their out of school time at activities, some because their outings were always either shopping or meeting family. As a teen I kept going on holiday with my parents. I just also did holidays without - in early teens on organised activity holidays, later on with friends or sibling. Some friends seem to have had to do more and more exotic holidays to get their teens to go with them.