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AIBU?

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Original poster

... to ask for opinions on teenage drinking alcohol at home

16 replies

wasjustthinking · 14/08/2021 14:20

DS legally old enough to drink in a pub now. However, over the past months it seems to have become a habit for some his mates to come around here, drink some beer outside in our garden. In general they are well behaved, fairly quiet, respectful of neighbors.

I notice that when going to collect DS from other friends houses, they never drink there, seems to be our house only.

For reference, I drink one glass of wine every night. DH does not drink.

Just curious if others allow teenagers to drink at home?

OP posts:
BarryTheKestrel · 14/08/2021 14:23

If he can legally drink in a pub, ie is 18, I don't think there is any 'letting him drink at home' unless you are paying for it and he wouldn't afford it otherwise.

Are some of his friends younger? I was one of the eldest of my friendship group and we'd often have a few drinks at mine or another friends house so those who were still 17 could join in.

As long as they aren't getting smashed and disturbing your home and being disruptive, it really doesn't matter what your adult child does.

Henrytheehoover · 14/08/2021 14:27

Do they generally meet up around other friends houses? Or is your house the one they default to when socialising in general?

I never used to like drinking in front of my mum and dad, even though they drank and didn't mind me drinking. I thought nothing of getting shit faced at DHs house in front of the PIL though.

Littlefish · 14/08/2021 14:28

I'd much rather my teen had a drink at home with friends, than spend the night in a pub!

SpindleWhorl · 14/08/2021 14:32

I let mine drink at home within reason occasionally. I was always home, and only had to tell them to keep the noise down once on a birthday.

(I used to worry about the neighbours getting pissed off.)

But - who's paying for this? Are you sure they're not annoying the neighbours? How do you know?

They're in their twenties now and hardly drink at all.

ByTheSea · 14/08/2021 14:33

DD-19 and her friends drink in each other's parents' gardens, seems to be their preferred night out. They aren't big gatherings, usually between four and eight of them.

TheFutureIsUncertain · 14/08/2021 14:36

I've been through the same with DD. Our house seemed to become the place to go for a few drinks, or meeting place before they went out. In general it was no problem.

BUT there was two big issues we had. First was when went away for a weekend and our DD had friends over, and way more turned up than we'd have known. Everything was OK when we got back, but I was shown pictures from social media that made me unhappy.

We had another incident when one of the friends drove home after drinking (we didn't know she was driving!!).

All these same things, and worse, could happen when drinking in city centre too.

SpindleWhorl · 14/08/2021 14:45

18+ city centre drinking where I am is utter carnage.

AhNowTed · 14/08/2021 15:07

18 and a few beers in the garden with friends? Totally normal.

3Br1tnee · 14/08/2021 15:18

@BarryTheKestrel

If he can legally drink in a pub, ie is 18, I don't think there is any 'letting him drink at home' unless you are paying for it and he wouldn't afford it otherwise.

Are some of his friends younger? I was one of the eldest of my friendship group and we'd often have a few drinks at mine or another friends house so those who were still 17 could join in.

As long as they aren't getting smashed and disturbing your home and being disruptive, it really doesn't matter what your adult child does.

It does, the homeowner/person paying the rent is entitled to gave whatever rules they like.
titchy · 14/08/2021 15:22

Given that the teen in question is an adult and they and their friends are quiet and respectful what is the problem exactly? It's a good thing isn't it? Confused

MadMadMadamMim · 14/08/2021 15:22

In general they are well behaved, fairly quiet, respectful of neighbors.

Does this mean that occasionally they aren't? I'd have issues if it wasn't they are always well behaved, quiet and respectful of neighbours.

Otherwise I'd have no issue providing they were paying for/bringing the beer themselves and they weren't drunk. A few beers in the garden would not worry me.

WomanStanleyWoman · 14/08/2021 15:28

‘Allowing’ an adult to drink? You’re being ridiculous.

The4thForm · 14/08/2021 15:42

We did not to put some basic rules in place after a few issues. Included things like strict limit on the numbers, not smoking pot, etc.

Original poster
wasjustthinking · 14/08/2021 15:50

Thanks for the perspective, it's helpful. DH and I will be away for a week, so based on those posts need to put some rules in place for that.

There is an elderly man in poor health in the next house. We've known him for years and I always let him know in advance. That's actually my main concern, plus two of the boys are 17 (but parents OK for them to drink).

OP posts:
Inthe60s · 14/08/2021 16:03

It is a bit strange that they only go drinking in your house? You don't want to become the party house! We've had issues like that in the past with DD. Like with a pub, rules are important. We'd had issues with too many people and uninvited guests.

All this stuff happens outside of home anyway, and there is nothing you can do about it.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 14/08/2021 16:10

plus two of the boys are 17 (but parents OK for them to drink).
Maybe the other houses don’t let them drink due to this? Have your ask your son why he never drinks at his mates?

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