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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is BU me or my cousin

4 replies

Opal93 · 14/08/2021 13:35

My cousin and I usually get on and met up yesterday. She has an old friend (who now lives in another country and she doesn’t speak to her anymore) but I disliked this girl because she cheated on a good friend of mine and treated him like absolute crap(had a threesome behind his back with one of his friends) This was a very long time ago, and and while I will never agree with what she did they have both moved on now. The issue is my cousin and I have had arguments about her in the past, her defending this girl and me defending my friend. I try to avoid the subject because a) it all happened ages ago and it’s stupid to keep arguing about it and b) we otherwise get on so I don’t want to spoil our time together! But the thing is EVERY time we meet, my cousin brings this girl up. Yesterday, she brought her name up out of nowhere, and I thought, oh here we go, and was showing me photos, saying “doesn’t she look fab, isn’t she so stunning, isn’t her body amazing,” and I just sort of nodded, didn’t say anything negative or bitchy, but just sort of expressed disinterest. The she snapped at me “You just don’t like her!” And I said well I think you already know that by now, and she launched into a tirade about how I am BU and started up the whole argument again. I said calmly but firmly, “Look, I think it’s best we avoid this topic from now on. We obviously don’t agree on it, and are never going to, you can’t change my opinion and I can’t change yours. So if you bring this girl up again, I am not going to comment or have this conversation because it is never going to end well” she stopped talking about it but is very obviously sulking with me now. I have had my mum on the phone saying my aunt said I started on her (wtf??) please tell me I am not the one BU

OP posts:
smallandimperfectlyformed · 14/08/2021 13:39

From the way you have described it I can't see how you are being unreasonable, I don't know why your cousin has to keep bringing her up!

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2021 13:40

I would no longer be seeing this cousin unless absolutely necessary. The faux drama is just absurd.

Chikapu · 14/08/2021 13:49

It looks to me like she's using this other girl as an excuse to argue with you. Does she enjoy drama?
I wouldn't meet up with her tbh, you know how it's going to end so why keep doing it?

boringbrain · 14/08/2021 14:00

I had a cousin like this (different drama though) and the best thing was go NC. I haven't spoken to her or heard from her in 4 years and life is so much better without her bringing in drama. Her mother (my aunt) was like this as well, my mum 2 years ago stopped contact with my aunt as well after my nans funeral over something so absurd. These types of people love getting a reaction and are leeches that love sucking off people through any drama they create. Our lives are so much better without them as they contribute nothing but grief.

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