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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Quick - should I tell her?

7 replies

biggirlknickers · 14/08/2021 12:27

DD aged 13 has always struggled with friendships but has a couple of decent friends from primary that she occasionally sees, but only when I’ve arranged things with their parents.

Lockdown ms over the last 18 months haven’t helped and now she is spending the summer holidays stuck at home with nobody to hang out with much.

Yesterday I texted the mum of a primary friend (she does go to DD high school but they are not in same classes or same social circles) and asked her if PF was free to see DD. I did this because DD doesn’t really have the confidence to make arrangements herself. I didn’t tell DD I was doing this.

Now PF has texted DD and asked her over this afternoon. DD thinks this is out of the blue and doesn’t know I texted PF mum.

Do I tell her? I’m worried she’ll find out when she’s there and be embarrassed. I’m worried that if she knows I asked for this to happen she’ll feel like PF has taken pity on her rather than ask her over for her own sake.

I’m over thinking this! What should I do?

OP posts:
biggirlknickers · 14/08/2021 12:38

Anyone?

OP posts:
Ariela · 14/08/2021 12:39

I'd just say something non committal like 'Oh how nice I was only telling (x mum) the other day we'd not seen much of X and it'd be lovely to see her again'

SoupDragon · 14/08/2021 12:39

I agree. Say something vague and non-committal.

Knitwit101 · 14/08/2021 12:40

Just say you bumped into PFs mum and that must have given her the idea to get in touch or so.ething like that. I often have to prod my kids to get in touch with pals, they're not great at it either.

madnessitellyou · 14/08/2021 12:40

No, don't tell her. Maybe, however, she could build her confidence in that respect?

sandgrown · 14/08/2021 12:41

Take a chance and say nothing or lie and say you were speaking to the girl’s mum and it came up. Hope she has a nice time x

Paperplain · 14/08/2021 13:17

Yes tell her. Possibility that the mum will say something - too great a risk to lie and embarrass your DD

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