Teachers please help! *not so much aibu as how do I not bu*

[Mmm623]

My son (8) attends a mainstream government primary school in Australia and has multiple complex needs including ASD and anxiety. Due to a multitude of dramas I’m currently negotiating his supports with school management and education department.

I’ve had a ton of issues with school management but teacher and EA have been amazing, and carrying what I believe is an unfair burden to fill the gap in supports for my kid.

I’ve found myself in a situation where the department is now paying attention and prepared to consider adjustments including providing school more funding for supports.

What I’m asking is, what things are most useful and effective as supports at a classroom level to help him whilst taking the burden off the teacher and EA so much? More EA time, specific resources, flexible attendance etc?

Thanks for reading and apologies for intruding on your cyber space… tried asking staff directly but they were very hesitant to engage (presumably because implies criticism of higher ups). For context, I have positive relationship with EA and teacher and try and be very mindful of not being a demanding or precious snowflake SEN mum, but to collaborate and try and understand the difficult situation that teaching a high needs kid in a large class involves and that they are doing absolutely all they can with what they have.

I teach in Victoria in a state school so, UK teachers can't offer the help you need, except in the most general sense.

Such advice might have no legal applications to your child's situation. You need to look at the statement of your child's needs that your state/territory has provided. Staff will be bound by the documentation of what your child is assessed to need.

It’s almost impossible to say without knowing your child’s individual needs. Generally 1:1 support would be the most useful as it allows for him to have a differentiated curriculum if required and/or extra or alternative break times etc. I don’t know what funding is like over there but over here unless a child has very specific and demanding additional needs it is just expected that the teaching staff in the classroom make provision for them between themselves - the only children I’ve worked with who have received 1:1 are those who have needed intimate care or been a danger to themselves or others due to their needs. The UK is chronically underfunding schools though, and what you are describing is entirely normal and expected of a teacher here, so it may be different over there.

Is EA the adult providing your ds with one-to-one support? Are they able to provide dedicated support, or are they expected to support other children as well? Do they have training in understanding your son's needs and providing specific support?

Has your son been assessed for speech and language, motor skills, and sensory needs? Is there provision to provide and support any therapy or specific interventions? Does he have the equipment he needs to support his specific needs, eg visual timetable?

Is there a dedicated space your son can go or be taken to, where he can decompress and feel safe? Is that space properly equipped, eg appropriate furniture (not a storage room!), weighted blanket, dimmable light)?

On line advice from Autism specific charity in Australia - many charities do phone or internet support - look for one that mentions schools -you would be able to discuss specifics with them
You are NOT a snowflake mother - I remember apologies to one of my dc teachers about my constant worrying about my dc - she said (& she was not the easiest or most forthcoming of people) "this is your child you have absolute right to do the best for them & never feel you are being difficult"

thanks for the advice and support! Appreciate the good ideas