Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take DDs Xbox off of her?

9 replies

trooger · 13/08/2021 23:04

First post, but I need some advice.

DD turned 15 a few months ago, she is autistic. A few years ago, I had some problems with her as she had a ‘boyfriend’ and he was 14, DD was 11/12. They'd also met on Roblox, which freaked me out even more! I spoke to her, and so did her school and she blocked him. I kept checking and there was nothing, so I stopped checking so often but I would still check when she didn't expect it. It was about 3/4 years ago so I'd actually forgotten about him but I still check her Roblox account on her iPad every now and again and there's been nothing so I've thought she's learned the lesson of not speaking to random people on the internet!

Earlier, she was playing on her Xbox and I went into her room, I then saw she had a message from a random username and she looked panicked but I didn't say anything at the time. When DD was in the bath, I looked through her messages on the Xbox, and that account that messaged her is the boy, he's about 17 now, and they've been messaging all this time (although haven't been in a ‘relationship’ again until recently), the messages seemed innocent apart from DD sending hearts/calling him babe/telling him she loved him although he seemed to ignore this and change the subject. I only read one message where he said ‘i love you too’. I told DD I'm taking her Xbox as she can't be trusted and she doesn't know if this boy is who he says he is, DD then started shouting at me and saying she does as he sent her a video of him saying her name and they talk sometimes whilst they play a game together.

One message did make me feel uncomfortable but it was from DD, she asked the boy how his baby sister was and he replied ‘annoying’ then she said something like but she's only little and then told him not to get her pregnant as she never wants to have children. He did seem to ignore the message and changed the subject.

AIBU to have taken her Xbox off of her?

OP posts:
TrickorTreacle · 13/08/2021 23:22

Roblox' age rating in the UK is 7.

It doesn't sounds like the 17 y/o boy is trying to groom her.

Your DD will soon be 16.

I think YABU sorry.

negomi90 · 13/08/2021 23:29

I think at 15 you need to give her a chance. You've gone through these messages, there's nothing inappropriate and he's not grooming her.
You need to continue monitoring and start giving her the skills to recognise what is not OK and what to do if that happens.

trooger · 13/08/2021 23:43

@TrickorTreacle

Roblox' age rating in the UK is 7.

It doesn't sounds like the 17 y/o boy is trying to groom her.

Your DD will soon be 16.

I think YABU sorry.

I don't have an issue with her playing Roblox. I know she's 16 next year, but I'm just concerned especially as he's 17!
OP posts:
trooger · 14/08/2021 00:11

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Auntienumber8 · 14/08/2021 01:21

Have you had a talk about sharing information and pictures? Plus does she have social media? She must to have sent received the video.

There is nothing horribly inappropriate in the messages , if you kick off she will go more underground with it all.

sykadelic · 14/08/2021 01:44

Is your only objection that you don't know if he is who he says he is?

If so, request he prove he is who he says he is. Video chat on FB, or Skype, or whatever.

Talking to someone online is not the same as meeting someone in person so she's not in trouble right now, she's just making friends.

trooger · 14/08/2021 12:01

Yes, DD does have Instagram but I told her she could only have people she knows on it, which she hasn't listened to!

No, that isn't my only objection, he's 17 and DD is 15, which is a big age gap at their age especially as DD is autistic and isn't like the usual 15yearold girl

OP posts:
AnonymousCheerleader · 14/08/2021 12:09

Can't you let them be "friends" but insist on monitoring their conversations?

15 to 17 really isn't that large and age gap, but obviously you know your daughter.

SweetToTheBeat · 14/08/2021 12:27

Where does he live?

Have they talked on the phone properly or by video message or just through the game?

If in the UK I think I'd facilitate them meeting up. Obviously with you close by! I don't mean throw her on the train.

It sounds like they get on and have done for a while. They just sound like friends who have something in common. He is older than her but you don't even sound sure by how much. He might be a perfectly nice boy.

They aren't talking about anything inappropriate. To me the pregnant comment sounds like clumsy flirting and he didn't run with it. Calling people babe and sending hear emojis is nothing to be worried about in a fifteen year old.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page