I honestly believe she is lying. AIBU to call her out on it?

[PepperPepperMan]

New colleague blatantly embellishing the truth to say the very least.

We spend a lot of time travelling in a car together. She always instigates the conversations which are far stretched.

Most reason one is being adopted under the age of 1. Birth mum found out about a tragic event that hit the adoptive family 15 years after adoption.
Birth mum found the adoptive mum on Facebook, contact made wanting to take child back but social services intervened and said no because birth mum had killed said child’s brother.

Today’s revelation is much more far fetched than other examples but even so, there are so many holes in each yarn. Do I remain silent with a head tilt or call it out in the hope that it stops?

Oh god I would love this!
The journey would be so much more interesting

Just say, ‘Look, we don’t know one another, and hearing all these traumatic stories on a day to day basis is a bit much for me. Let’s discuss the weather ‘

You can tell a liar if you have knowledge about the subject as the language and process is often wrong
I knew a woman who claimed to be pregnant with twins. She lost one then the other. She talked in months not days and weeks. She didn't have any of the literature you bring home from appts (or did when I was pregnant) there was nothing but words
I an well versed with adoption and a friend claimed something buy again the words and understanding of the process were very wrong

@BoredZelda

I can’t really put my finger on it but it’s very trump every issue a client has with a story much longer and harder than anyone else.

My brother’s partner is like this. We thought at first she was just trying to fit in/be interesting, but 15 years on we just inwardly roll our eyes.

I missed your mention or clients. Is she sharing very personal detailed stories with people you work with? Is that appropriate in your line of work?

@TractorAndHeadphones

Also to add - a colleague sharing something deeply traumatic (in a moment of closeness) is usually not lying compared to someone who has a hard life story every single day…

She does have a true life event which was made very public in our area. That is true, I knew about it. On the first day we worked together she disclosed the event plus more, embellished truths/stories and it’s just ramped up and got worse as the days have gone on.

I find compulsive liars draining and I have to try and catch them out but the problem is a lot of the time they genuinely believe what they’re saying so they’ll never admit the truth.

My sister on the other hand loves them!
We have a family member who comes up with some story every time we see them and my sister acts really interested and the story gets wilder and wilder. This person has said they’re a multi millionaire (they rent a 1 bedroom council flat), they’re having an affair with a very famous celebs wife, they have had a mansion but they don’t live there for whatever reason, they’ve knocked out a famous boxer etc etc it’s quite funny actually. I do sometimes feel sorry for them as they must not have very good lives.

I had a friend like this and I agree a non committal response is the best. The more outrageous the story, the more bland your response should be. My friend once arrived to meet me and said she had seen a pedestrian hit by a car and killed on the way to meet me, right in front of her. I just said "huh". She didn't mention it again.

I tell stories to friends and colleagues (always true) but I’m aware that others may think otherwise - I’ve had a very chequered life
I try not to bore people and keep it in context
We work with people who make my life seem like a walk in the park - I am rarely shocked now but often dismayed by how fantastically awful things can be

@JaceLancs

I tell stories to friends and colleagues (always true) but I’m aware that others may think otherwise - I’ve had a very chequered life I try not to bore people and keep it in context We work with people who make my life seem like a walk in the park - I am rarely shocked now but often dismayed by how fantastically awful things can be

I really understand your post. This isn’t that but I do appreciate your reply.

If this most recent story is similar to the others she has told, then I would start distancing. If she isnt getting the sort of reaction she wants, then the next lies will be even more insane.

I have had a fairly chequered life with very well travelled and far flung family members and I have been in the situation where people have disbelieved me. But I have recognised that my stories while sounding far-fetched are actually true have never especially minded a gentle challenge from people who do not yet know my back story well. How would she feel if you challenged her?

I've had a similar issue - not with lying, just with someone in the car who wouldn't shut up. Audiobooks are your answer! When she gets in the car, point out that you're listening to the book and every time she starts to speak shush her and remind her of the book. You could try the radio or a podcast but I found that didn't work as well.

I think the fundamental issue is you dislike her intently. Do you need to travel together? Can you find a way not to?

You keep silent OP
What would you achieve?
Leave it

I knew a woman like that. She had every illness including cancer but cured herself with a vegan diet. She went for a reception job in a school but they thought she was so amazing they offered her a job as a teacher on the spot. Don't you need qualifications though? Oh I mean teaching assistant for foreign students. You still need qualifications though? Oh I mean.... Well I've decided not to take it and give someone else a chance.
It was non stop and so tiring. I stopped reacting at all and she soon found another person to lie to.