Anyone here with borderline PD or a loved one with it?

[Wobblz1]

I strongly suspect I have either BPD or perhaps C-PTSD but haven't sought a formal diagnosis, I'm wondering whether getting one would do more harm than good given how stigmatized it is.

I have a copious amount of trauma in my past and as a result I really struggle to control my emotions. I would never hurt anybody, the rage is always directed inwards.

Would a diagnosis make a difference to my life? Is there even any support to be had? Do you or anybody you know have it? If so how do you/they cope?

I don't know about stigma. My DD has C PTSD. It's helped her understand what's going on better. She's had some counseling and uses self help techniques. Hers is trauma related and she was diagnosed via a charity for her type of trauma.
Not quite the same but I was diagnosed with autism as an adult and it's helped me.

I would say check out Dr Jessica Taylor and her ideas on BPD/mental health and her theories on it. It makes a lot of sense to me. She says that there is nothing wrong with you innately so no need for a label and focuses on the trauma being the cause for your emotions not some underlying condition.

Thank you Awallintime

Hi, I have BPD. I’ve been in recovery since 2014 and now work in the NHS support others with PD.

There is treatment out there if you want it and it is possible to recover - and by recover I mean learn to manage the symptoms and effectively regulate your emotional responses. STEPPS is a good place to start, DBT and or MBT being the gold standard treatment to go onto after that. Whether these treatments are offered in your area varies depending on where you are. Also, different trusts have different eligibility criteria - some won’t put your forward for these treatments without a diagnosis, others they just need to have evidenced you are displaying enough symptoms over a certain time period.

There is huge stigma surrounding the diagnosis, you will see it here on MN unfortunately far too often. People with BPD written off as the most awful people on the planet, not capable of changing, to be avoided.

There is also still some stigma within health services as well, this is getting better with improved training and understanding but is still too common.

The problem with BPD is that the outcome of treatment is entirely dependent on the motivation and commitment by the individual.

Not everyone is prepared to put in the work required, not everyone is prepared to take responsibility for their recovery and for their responses.

Everyone with BPD can recover. Sadly, not everybody will. And that is tragic, for the individual and those around them.

Happy for you to PM me if you would like.

I have a friend with BPD and she's found dialectical behaviour therapy very helpful in keeping her life stable and helping her to maintain relationships. She doesn't live in the UK, though, so I'm not sure how easy it is to access here. There is a lot of stigma around the diagnosis, but it can also give you a framework for discussion about what support you need, even if you don't use the label. You can say stuff like "I'm being treated for some mental health problems and one of my difficulties is that I can experience very strong, overwhelming emotions which from an objective viewpoint seem like a huge overreaction. If I notice that's happening, then I'll need to take a few minutes to run through some exercises I've been working on to get me back into a more rational frame of mind" or whatever your problems/solutions are.

Letsrunabath
You're welcome, she says things that a challenges what is normally thought of but seeing some of her evidence makes me think differently about it even existing at all. I don't believe it does now after reading her work. It makes perfect sense when she explains and says that someone suffers trauma and struggles emotionally and displays behaviour that are different to what is expected and then Drs say the issue was your personality all along causing this? It does make me critical about the existence of it after thinking along those lines. And the link to hysteria and how it is the exact same diagnosis critera from 100 years ago.

Yes, DD has it. She had DBT. She is much better!

Thank you all for the helpful replies

I've known for years that something isn't right in that my emotional responses to things are disproportionate alot of the time.

Something that has prevented me asking for help is that I'm a parent (currently pregnant now too) and I'm concerned that an investigation for BPD might trigger SS involvement, largely due to the stigma and misconceptions people have of the disorder. Do you think I would have anything to worry about in that sense?

I've been doing alot of research into the subtypes of BPD and believe I fit the 'quiet BPD' one in that I appear pretty high functioning to the outside world. It's only those closest to me who see how much I struggle, but I struggle alot.

Is the diagnosis pathway a long one? It took just over 2 years for my DS to be diagnosed with autism.

How would one get the ball rolling? Speak to my GP?

@Awalkintime

Letsrunabath You're welcome, she says things that a challenges what is normally thought of but seeing some of her evidence makes me think differently about it even existing at all. I don't believe it does now after reading her work. It makes perfect sense when she explains and says that someone suffers trauma and struggles emotionally and displays behaviour that are different to what is expected and then Drs say the issue was your personality all along causing this? It does make me critical about the existence of it after thinking along those lines. And the link to hysteria and how it is the exact same diagnosis critera from 100 years ago.

Very interesting! I'm going to go and have a look into that now. Thank you

Wobblz1
You're welcome. I have her new book on preorder which is all about this so I'm excited to read it. Good luck getting the support you need.

No, it was quite quick for DD - but then she made about 6 suicide attempts in about 3 months!

The other thing is, it can be similar to ADD in terms of the emotional hyper-reactivity. DD was subsequently diagnosed with that too. Years of struggling with ADD can lead to BPD!

@Intercity225

No, it was quite quick for DD - but then she made about 6 suicide attempts in about 3 months!

The other thing is, it can be similar to ADD in terms of the emotional hyper-reactivity. DD was subsequently diagnosed with that too. Years of struggling with ADD can lead to BPD!

I'm so sorry, your poor DD

I hope life is better for her now. That must have been such a worrying time for you both.

I don't have any suicide attempts in my history but when I'm emotional the thought is always there and it's not unusual for me to say "I want to die" and really mean it in the moment.

When I do calm down I feel very ashamed.

I can see that, two of my kids have ADD and the negative experiences they have had have definitely caused them a degree of trauma, the younger benefited from me learning from the mistakes i made with his older brother. My oldest son has personality traits that i find difficult to come to terms with but i can also see that they are a firm of defense mechanism against more trauma.

Yes, I have it, and I feel being diagnosed was the first step towards recovery.

There are moves to try and change the name (again) to reflect the well understood (by clinicians) fact that the collection of symptoms being experienced are understandable but maladaptive responses to trauma and poor attachments during childhood (birth to 25) when the brain is still developing.

Drs know it’s not ‘something wrong with your personality’. It’s all about trauma, and trauma response, and that is known and accepted.

It’s just that the name is now no longer a good reflection of what we know is going on. It’s why they tried changing it a few years back to Emotionally Unstable PD, to try and be a better fit.

It’s still not quite there. In fact, I was at a PD conference recently and one of the topics being discussed was the name, it’s history, evolution and what might be a better fit. Expect it to keep changing!

But please be assured - any clinician worth their salt DOES know it’s nothing to do with your ‘personality’ per se.

Of course, there are still some crap clinicians out there as well who really don’t get it, unfortunately.

Social services would not open an investigation just because you have an assessment or get a diagnosis.

I have BPD. Diagnosed last year, whilst pregnant with second child.

Social services will not be involved unless there are concerns for your child's safety, just like anyone else.

Getting a diagnosis was the first step to recovery for me. I'm now on appropriate medication, have completed some cbt and am working on my emotional regulation. It was like a light was switched on, finally there was a reason behind all my crazy cycles of behaviour and I didn't feel so isolated. The only one who has ever stigmatised me has been my stbxh as we are going through a very bitter separation and child residence process.

Thank you for the continued replies

(And reassurance about SS not being concerned purely on the basis of somebody having BPD)

Regarding medication, what is prescribed to treat the condition?

Medication isn't the treatment for BPD though it can be used to help with anxiety or depression that goes alongside. The treatment is therapy. You can get Stepps on the nhs in many areas or DBT privately but that will cost you £1k plus.

DD got DBT on the NHS - but then, her suicide attempts involved railway lines, which caused a lot of public nuisance. (Over 40 now) They said had she taken overdoses at home, which wouldn't bother anybody except us, she wouldn't have met the critieria.

PS - should have said, she has been prescribed anti -depressants and beta blockers for anxiety, as and when she needs them. I personally think anti depressants do nothing for her, except create suicidal ideation.

Hi there @Wobblz1

There isn't any medication specifically used for BPD. Maybe antidepressants and sometimes a mood stabiliser or antipsychotic (the latter can't be prescribed by a GP though) If you do decide to go for a referral, I would keep an open mind, as it could also be neurodiversity, like Autism or ADHD (or both) which can have similar symptoms such as emotional dysregulation and rejective sensitive dysphoria. A lot of people, especially women can appear to have BPD traits when it's actually neurological. Not saying it could be BPD or C-PTSD, but it's worth bearing in mind. Obviously only a psychiatrist would be qualified to make that distinction. I have bipolar and ADHD and medication has helped a lot

I don't know about SS, but if it's any reassurance, they've never been involved, even when I was hospitalised. I hope you're able to find answers