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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family finances

4 replies

Famfinance · 13/08/2021 14:57

My sibling and partner have four kids, the eldest of whom is about to go to secondary school. They both earn good money but don't have huge job security.

My sibling is intending to go fee paying secondary and this will then commit them to four paid for educations i.e. a very large sum of cash! All so far, fair and good and none of my business... The problem is that my sibling and partner have a track record of jumping into things without thinking and then relying on our parents to bail them out. Our parents aren't poor but if they have to start picking up school fee tabs it will strain their finances plus their ability to support their other grandchildren (mine and a third sibling), which they have openly said they intend to do in a completely equitable fashion. My two dcs are a few years off secondary...

Previous bailouts have never been acknowledged by sibling and even been turned against our parents (long story I won't regale everone with).

AIBU to outline my concerns of potential knock-on effects of job loss with sibling / parents?

Many thanks

OP posts:
LemonTT · 13/08/2021 14:59

If your parents want your input they will ask for it.

gwenneh · 13/08/2021 15:01

AIBU to outline my concerns of potential knock-on effects of job loss with sibling / parents?

Do you think they aren't aware and somehow when you impart the information it will be a "light bulb" moment?

Or do you think they're aware, and forging ahead anyway, despite the potential issues later?

Famfinance · 13/08/2021 15:03

Sound advice LemonTT thanks.

OP posts:
Famfinance · 13/08/2021 15:07

Gwenneh, good question. I am not sure what sibling's mindset is to be honest.
Part of me suspects that they intentionally over-leverage themselves knowing that they will get bailed out if it things go wrong. This is the heart of the issue for me, it has caused a lot of emotional upset in the past as our parents get sucked in as parent's lack assertiveness up front...

OP posts:
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