I am not ok

[Notgettingbetter]

My mental health is disintegrating. I've been severely depressed for months. Spoke to a doctor this morning. Told me to wait a couple more weeks for my new antidepressant to kick in. I understand but I'm getting desperate. I am on the phone to my local crisis team but they are not picking up. I've got dressed but I have no idea where I might go. My partner is out at the playground with our young daughter. I don't want her to see me like this. I'm not suicidal but I feel I might be headed that way if something doesn't change in the next few days.

UndertheCedartree thanks for your reply.

It was the GP. Both my partner and I asked him to refer me to a psychiatrist but he said they are few and far between and has apparently contacted a mental health team who will be in touch. I get my partner to call the doctor sometimes because he has a very deep, manly voice so they might take him more seriously

I'm sorry about your difficult times. What happened that caused you to be sectioned? Today I have been looking online for mental health retreats and even private facilities (I could get help from family to pay for it if I had to).

@Notgettingbetter - are you in England? If so I find the 'very few and far between' comment a bit strange! You need to be referred to the community mental health team. You will usually be seen by a psych nurse or social worker for assessment and then will see a psychiatrist if necessary.

I had started therapy through IAPT but my issues were much deeper than 6 weeks of therapy could deal with. I started to struggle almost immediately as couldn't cope with all the trauma that was being opened up. When the therapy ended I had a mental breakdown. I was very suicidal and had attempted to take my life more than once. I was in a very bad place. Luckily for me the therapist was excellent and spotted I was going downhill fast. By the time the therapy ended I had already seen Home treatment team for a couple of weeks which didn't help and then she'd referred me to the First response team (short term community mental health team). My psych nurse saw how unwell I was and within a week or 2 I'd been sectioned. It was the best thing for me and I was looked after really well.

UndertheCedartree, yes in England. I didn't appreciate him saying that... But I've never felt like that particular doctor takes me very seriously. The one I usually see is much better.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I'm glad you were looked after. I've been seeing a counsellor for a few weeks now. I cry a lot every session. She says I seem to be struggling with a lot of trauma as well as depression. I am in constant emotional pain, rather than just a low mood.

Quick update: a nurse with the mental health team called me today - I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon.

That's good to hear. I do hope it goes well for you.

Hi, I agree with Underthecedartree, take it minute by minute and distract yourself with games on your phone. Sometimes life is so hard that minute by minute is the only way x

Hi I just wanted to see how you are. I have been thinking about you.
Sorry I have not been able to help but I do care and wish you well.

@Notgettingbetter - thank you. I'm glad you are seeing a nurse from the MH team. That was how I felt too - in constant emotional pain. It was dreadful. It may well be that like me you are struggling to cope with the trauma being unearthed by your therapy. Keep going, step by step, minute by minute. I hope the appointment goes well and you get the help you need. Be really honest about how you feel.

The mental health team have advised the GP to increase my venlafaxine dose and I might receive some therapy in a few weeks. I'm glad to feel like I'm being heard and taken seriously.

@Notgettingbetter

The mental health team have advised the GP to increase my venlafaxine dose and I might receive some therapy in a few weeks. I'm glad to feel like I'm being heard and taken seriously.

Good, I'm so glad. I really hope you start to see some improvement very soon. You are doing amazingly - keep on keeping on.

I'm so pleased you've been heard OP

Thinking about you and hope you are ok.

www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool. MIND Mental health charity

How’s it going Notgettingbetter? Have you noticed any change yet?

I'm not noticing any real improvement yet unfortunately 😕 Maybe a little less desperate and distressed (not crying quite so much)... But just as thoroughly depressed. I feel like maybe I'm just getting used to being miserable all the time. My counsellor is back on Wednesday. Curious to see how that goes.

Thanks everyone.

I just wanted to send you some love and say how brave it was for you to come here and ask for help, that's such a positive step even if it feels like the complete opposite.

I really hope those meds are starting to do their thing xxxx

Sounds like a tiny change though :) Hang in there. I don’t know if you’ve tried other antidepressants but after a decent try on Vfx if it doesn’t work there’s others to try. This forum is full of people whose life has changed after finding the right AD including me, so it definitely can be sorted.

I keep going, keep trying to do whatever I can to get better... But it's hard to imagine ever feeling okay again, let alone good 😔

My little girl starts school soon so at least we will all have a change, hopefully a positive one.