Posting for traffic I've just seen my ex

[myheartskippedabeat]

So in short me an ex were together 20 years from 14-23/24 then it just because clear we wanted different things

He moved away for work I stayed local

I've just been out for dinner with some girlfriends and drinks and in the bar I saw him he's here visiting family

I'm now 45 and it was like I was a teenager again and it was bizarre

He's married with kids as I am but I went to the toilets he followed me and gave me a piece of paper with his number on and said "you look just like you did when I met you pls msg me I'm here for a week"

I'm flattered but I know it's a bad idea but I can't get past how I felt

What did you say to him though when you accepted his number?

Might be as well to say it to your husband though - just in case

It doesn’t sound like he’s a very nice person. Seems he’s looking for something outside his marriage. It’s lovely to be flattered but you can’t be sure he hasn’t / doesn’t follow lots of girls to pass on his number. I just really, really wouldn’t OP - stay happy in your marriage - be glad you didn’t marry him - a (married) man who follows someone to the toilet to give out his number. xx

Nostalgia can have such a powerful pull - you were together for a long time when you were young and presumably had far fewer responsibilities and worries. Totally normal for that to bring up feelings!

You’ve done the right thing. Give yourself a few days and those feelings will settle. Don’t worry about it in the meantime - it doesn’t mean anything except that, like most people, your past experiences still have the power to trigger emotional reactions.

Why would you be flattered?

He's a married father suggesting he's happy to casually betray his wife & child/children, arrogantly assuming you have equally low standards.

I can understand your feelings. My ex contacted me out of the blue after no contact for a decade and it threw up so many emotions. I thought about him all the time and felt so nostalgic and emotional. After a few days I pulled myself together and deleted and blocked his email. Luckily his name is very common so I can't find him online. Any time I thought about him I reminded myself of the reasons we had broken up and that was helpful. I had very rose tinted glasses when looking back but actually we didn't have a good relationship. I did tell my husband about it but left out the bits about my feelings as I knew they would pass and it wasn't worth hurting his feelings.

I wouldn't be the slightest bit tempted. Think of the misery you'd cause. Think how you'd feel if you were wife being cheated on. Definitely a big no.

You’re both married with kids and you’re now in your 40s, I could put money on you not finding him anywhere near as attractive as a person now as you did 20 years ago… Don’t even bother, throw the number away and forget it.

Agree with your friend. YOu wouldn't be human if you didn't feel a rush of some emotion, bumping in to him suddenly.

But you wanted different things.

You still do I'm sure. Unless you want to end up divorced for the sake of a married man who gives his ex his number in some bar toilets.

If your own husband did that you wouldn't be impressed with him would you? That's what this x just did. Don't let the fact that it was YOU he gave his number to cloud that.

I'm not even married, been single for decades really but if your marriage is important to you, don't get back in touch.

If you want a bit of excitement and ddrama more than you want to stay married, get in touch with him!

@dworky

Why would you be flattered? He's a married father suggesting he's happy to casually betray his wife & child/children, arrogantly assuming you have equally low standards.

This!

Is it wrong I’m more confused about him carrying a pad and pen round to pass women notes 😂