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[Madge55]

Aiming for brevity here so bear with. Friend lives over an hour away in a city. I live in pretty coastal area. I work Mon to Friday 9 to 5 alternate days from home. Pretty much stuck at desk, 30 mins for lunch. I texted her yesterday commenting on a news thing. No response, but standard practice for her. So today around lunchtime I get a text with ' Guess where I am ? Suppose you're working?' So she is in same town as me with a few of her friends who I've previously been out with as a group, nice people. For context the town can be driven through end to end in less than 5 minutes. So I send text saying I'm working have zoom call from 1 to 3 but they're welcome to call up if they swing by. No response until after my meeting. I sent the response about 90 mins before my zoom. She responds by saying they're in a local hotel having drinks if I want to join them!!!! As I say I'm working. I know they've had their walk, and drinks. By this stage I'm up to my eyes in work but feeling its all construed to not really have me there in the first place. So I just say it as it is ( nicely) that I'm busy and they should just carry on with their plans. Get a reply ...Sorry your busy catch up another time. I politely respond saying tell girls sorry I missed them. So I'm well cheesed off. Obviously knew from the day before she was going to be in my town and no heads up. She has been funny with me for a while, now, I'm thinking foxtrot it. No more. But is stand offish one minute then the next sending nice nice texts. She was here a few weeks ago with other mutual friends, she sent a message the day afterwards....Good morning had lovely time , enjoy night out (I was to have) with friends of mine. I am too old for this hot and cold crap. So best way to handle it please. ???? Bit of me thinking just don't bother with her any longer....or do I say something ?

Do any of them work??? This would annoy me, but possibly wasn't pre-planned. Strange though, considering your 'friend' knows you work.

I'd actually be grateful that they didn't all just turn up at your house! MY MIL would, with several friends with her!

It sounds like there a bit of history here.

In this situation she planned a day out in your local.town with friends you dont know that well. Invited you at the last minute knowing you probably would be too busy with work.

In all honestly you seem to.be taking offence at hec socialising without you which shes entitled to.do.......

To be honest you sound like you're being really dramatic.

She invited you for drinks - you said you're working. They're not going to come and intrude at your house if you're too busy to go out.

You said you were 5 mins away but that's not really relevant if you're not able to go and see them.

If you want to see her, arrange something when you're free rather than moaning that she's in your area when you're working.

Surely she planned this day out or don’t any of them work?
If she planned it with them, why couldn’t she have given you a heads up about it?
How old are you both? She sounds very immature.

I personally wouldn’t be annoyed about her not telling you she would be in your home town if she only lives an hour away. It would be different if you guys lived at the other ends of the country from each other. Sounds to me like she was genuine in her wish to see if you could join because why would she bother to ask otherwise?

I didnt know they were coming, when she texted to be polite I said call up since you're here and stipulated the time I couldn't entertain them. My thought is she could have sent the text the day before said it was a last minute thing or whatever ......did I want to meet for a quick coffee while they were there so I could see the other girls I haven't seen in over a year.????..I could have tried to manage my time to suit if she had given a bit of warning. She is absolutely entitled to see who she wants, when she wants as she wants, but why bother texting me in the first place. She opened her text with 'we're going for a walk, suppose you're working,' when I responded with my offer to call up ro my house and my zoom meet time, she didn't respond for 3 hours and 40 minutes. Like I say she has been funny for a while, I just can't be bothered with this hot and cold game. Further context when she was here a few weeks ago with other friends for an overnight stay every other person.in the group was asked if i the date suited, including another girl who lives in the same town as me, but I wasn't, I was told when they were coming. I have an elderly mother that I vist with daily in the same town. I am just at the point of if you want to play funny bxggers get on with it. I suppose there have been similar incidents recently where I've thought there is an edge to things she has done and said, so this is just another in a list. Hence my reaction .

It does sound like there's a history of being an afterthought or not included in plans.

Just withdraw. Next time you get a message like that just say 'Yes, I am working'.