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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sick kids at park.

83 replies

kcha302927 · 12/08/2021 18:44

I'll probably told I'm being unreasonable but my anxiety is in over drive.

Today I took my dc to the park. Park wasn't overly busy. We live in a village so it never really gets busy there.

Ds bumps into a school friend and they start playing. Pretty close contact albeit outside. Didn't think much of it.

I then overheard the child tell dc that they had been feeling poorly today and had calpol. I mean it could have been anything - most likely not covid I guess... the kid then is lying on the bench towards the end looking exhausted (was only there half hour or so) The mum (who I know, but not well) asked her if she was feeling better or worse and said they should go home and rest. I felt like I was going to have an instant panic attack. I have major anxiety. I just think that sick kids should not be at the park covid or not. But what if it was covid and they didn't know! I know the mother has sent in the kid before when quite ill and she got sent home shortly after. She doesn't seem to care that others might catch things.

Putting covid aside. Aibu to think kids that are sick (whatever it is) shouldn't be at the park? I know germs are everywhere but I wouldn't dream of taking mine to the park if sick.

Not I've gone into overdrive thinking about what if it she had covid without knowing. It's pretty high where I live. Dh has got a week off work starting from tomorrow and the last thing I want is illness! He's worked all the way through this with little time off. I feel so shitty about it!

OP posts:

Jojobees · 12/08/2021 21:20

Thankfully my two are super healthy and hardly ever get ill so I'm hoping that they won't catch whatever the child has.

Thank you! My eldest has additional needs too. Also every time he gets a cold he gets so poorly with nasty chest infection due to mild asthma and living in a damp house for a few has made him prone to chest infections so I'm just so worried he will get it!

So which is it op? You are contradicting yourself.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 12/08/2021 21:21

OP my kids currently have COVID and are absolutely fine apart from a sniffle. Same as 99.9% of kids who catch it. They'll be fine!

Twix74 · 12/08/2021 21:52

I would message the mum & ask how the child is but you don't come across as caring about the child. All you are doing is judging & using anxiety as an excuse but you don't know what that child has done today or this week that could explain the tiredness.

Sciurus83 · 12/08/2021 22:27

This sounds very difficult for you. For what it's worth I think your anxieties are pretty unfounded, you were absolutely right to take them to the park and this is all absolutely fine. I know it doesn't feel that way, but that's the overwhelming likelihood even given all the complications you've mentioned. Anxiety is a horrible thing, but there are tools and ways out, strongly encourage you to seek help so this doesn't rule your life and get passed on to your kids

Phoenix76 · 12/08/2021 22:55

Ahh op, I understand. I found myself on the shielding list when it all started, I didn’t leave my house for about 6 months (many haven’t for so much longer), I was on the receiving end of many texts, letters reminding me I mustn’t go out, I was terrified. I have two young children and over time I could see their little personalities changing, becoming anxious and withdrawn. My mental health took a massive nose dive and it seems I was taking my family with me.

I remember the first time I walked out of my front door, my legs were shaking and my knees were knocking. I eyed everyone suspiciously convinced they all had it. But, it got to the point where the fear of catching it was destroying me and everyone around me. I had to get back to life. Seeing their little faces light up when I took them to the park, was priceless, I genuinely felt grateful for my life. I’m now double vaccinated, went back to work last September (work were great) and, to my knowledge, despite kids being off school isolating, I’ve not had it. Anxiety is a terrible illness and can ruin the rest of your life (and damage those you love), please get help for that as a priority. Did you do the right thing taking your dc to the park? Absolutely!

StepAwayFromGoogling · 12/08/2021 23:02

OP, in the gentlest possible way, please get help for your anxiety. Many PPs on this thread have tried to reassure you that the risks are minuscule, even if the other child did have COVID. And that a parent giving a child with a cold some Calpol and then taking them to the park is perfectly reasonable. Your anxiety is still clearly out of control. You will be (consciously or unconsciously) passing this on to your children, which will hopefully be your motivation for getting some support with it. Rest assured any risks to your family really are tiny.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 12/08/2021 23:03

Get a grip. Your kid is far more likely to be affected by your anxiety than by some other kid needing calpol.
We are really heading for a massive mental health crisis in our young through this shit show,

StarDrawers · 12/08/2021 23:05

If I stayed at home everytime my kid had a cold id be sacked

girlmom21 · 12/08/2021 23:06

Mom probably thought her child could do with some fresh air and a bit of exercise... chill out

Lockdownbear · 12/08/2021 23:11

I wouldn't keep a child home for a cold, the risk of passing on a cold in a park is probably quite low. And I wouldn't keep them of school or nursery for a cold.

What did piss me off was meeting a school aged child with chicken pox in a soft play, while i was in with my baby.
If the kids too contagious to be at school they shouldn't be in soft play either.

unchienandalusia · 13/08/2021 00:05

@Jojobees

Thankfully my two are super healthy and hardly ever get ill so I'm hoping that they won't catch whatever the child has.

So which is it op? You are contradicting yourself.

^ my thoughts exactly!

WorraLiberty · 13/08/2021 00:10

@Wolframhart

Sick enough for calpol is sick enough to stay home.

It’s not your anxiety, that parent was way out of line.

Don't be so ridiculous.

So by that way of thinking, if an adult needs to take a couple of paracetemol, they should take the entire day off work/not leave the house to go shopping/do the school run etc?

Jeez, how to some people get through a day with this mindset?

jumpbounce · 13/08/2021 00:30

@DuchessSilver

Don't kids still go to nursery/school with (non-covid) colds/coughs/dosed up on Calpol? Surely if mixing indoors like that is ok, going out to the park is fine?

Course they do but they shouldn't! It's for this reason that my child spends half their life in hospital due to underlying health conditions when they catch these 'little colds' they end up in hospital..(BTW it's not just a little cold when it's a temperature and coughing all over the place) It's also the reason why I've had to shield our family for 18 months including siblings because no one bothers to test their kids preferring to dose them up on calpol and send them on wherever they are going because God forbid anyone would alter their plans because their child is unwell! If people would stop sending kids in dosed with calpol then sickness wouldn't constantly be going around these settings!

Lockdownbear · 13/08/2021 05:19

If a kid has a temperature calpol will only reduce it so long, so when the calpol wears off their temperature will spike and nursery will send them home.

So no I don't really think parents do sent kids to nursery with temperatures. But you'll never stop kids going to nursery with colds and coughing.

Nurseries in Scotland were closed this winter the first thing that happened when they returned was everyone got a rotten cold.

AutumnLeafDance · 13/08/2021 06:04

If you or your child is sick during a global pandemic, YOU STAY HOME!

Lockdownbear · 13/08/2021 06:09

@AutumnLeafDance

If you or your child is sick during a global pandemic, YOU STAY HOME!

People can't keep kids at home for every cold. Kids get colds just as they always have. Covid hasn't made the common cold go away.

StarDrawers · 13/08/2021 06:10

@AutumnLeafDance

If you or your child is sick during a global pandemic, YOU STAY HOME!

Do you know how often kid get sick?!

If they have any of the signs the government tells us means they should stay at home then yes good idea to stay at home. Same if vomiting.

And for all you know they'd done a PCR test and daycare is so hot on those at the moment.

Kiduknot · 13/08/2021 06:16

Yanbu.
Bad enough in normal time, but doubly so at the moment.

Why would you knowingly pass germs on?

ablutiions · 13/08/2021 06:49

My god OP you are getting a lot of stick form some very unreasonable people on here.

A child too ill to,carry on playing, and who has a hacking cough, should NOT be out, covid or not. And now that we are living in a pandemic it's bloody reckless of the parent to have taken the child out.

You are right to be annoyed, and worried that your family will be affected. Telling you to 'chill out' is just plain fucking rude.

All you can do now is put yours and kids clothes in the wash, shower everyone, clean door handles / touch points in your house and keep fingers crossed. Even if it's not covid you don't want that cough illness in your holidays.

This cavalier attitude to a serious virus really gets me so mad. Yes, we need to get back to normal as much as we can but that doesn't mean doing stupid things like taking ill , possible infected, children out to spread it.

I hope you all stay well OP

pollylocketpickedapocket · 13/08/2021 06:57

@AutumnLeafDance

If you or your child is sick during a global pandemic, YOU STAY HOME!

Fuck off

Eastie77Returns · 13/08/2021 07:04

@Jojobees

Thankfully my two are super healthy and hardly ever get ill so I'm hoping that they won't catch whatever the child has.

So which is it op? You are contradicting yourself.

@kcha302927 - I’m also completely confused by these two contradictory statements?

Anyway..I’m sorry your anxiety is so bad. It sounds exhausting. However I’m really fed up with the Covid Park Police. DD’s class bubble was sent home to isolate for 10 days on 3 seperate occasions last term, twice during a heatwave. On one occasion I took her out to ride her bike in a local forest and was lectured by another parent for breaking the rulez. Yes, because my 8 year old who has tested negative daily is a huge risk to the public whilst cycling in a forest with barely anyone around her

I don’t understand the fuss when kids are busy playgrounds either to be honest. The hysteria is ridiculous.

Dandy0911 · 13/08/2021 07:38

I mean this kindly but you need to stop being hysterical.

The kid probably had a cold. If the child felt too ill to be there, they would be kicking and screaming to come home. We don't need to keep children indoors for minor ailments, coughs, colds etc.

There are FAR worse things out there than covid. Covid on children doesn't really affect them too much. It's very VERY rare for them to become quite poorly with it. When my DD was 6 weeks old she had covid.
Covid isn't going anywhere at all. You can go to Tesco and pass someone with covid. He sat next to them on public transport. Use the same public loo as someone with covid.

It's all around us.
Are you getting help for your health anxiety?
People get anxious over covid and run with it, when in reality there is so much worse out there.

Kids get sick. They are prone to coughs and colds. Especially when at nursery / school they'll pick up everything going.

I really wouldn't stress, or feel guilty about taking your child to a park where another child has the sniffles (as you said you heard this child had a cold.)

Really, it's fine.

chaosrabbitland · 13/08/2021 07:40

@AutumnLeafDance

If you or your child is sick during a global pandemic, YOU STAY HOME!

im frequently not feeling well , if i stayed home everytime i got up and felt like shit i wouldnt have a job anymore . your being overly dramatic just a bit

Original poster

kcha302927 · 13/08/2021 09:14

[quote unchienandalusia]@Jojobees

Thankfully my two are super healthy and hardly ever get ill so I'm hoping that they won't catch whatever the child has.

So which is it op? You are contradicting yourself.

^ my thoughts exactly![/quote]
Generally don't catch anything but if DS was to catch a cold or covid he'd get really ill. Thankfully it doesn't happen often these days. When he was little he was constantly on antibiotics. Now he's older it may happen once a year. A cold will definitely lead to a bad chest for him especially in the winter. He is disabled too but his disability doesn't make him ill in itself.

OP posts:

Original poster

kcha302927 · 13/08/2021 09:15

@girlmom21

Mom probably thought her child could do with some fresh air and a bit of exercise... chill out

Go for a walk then not in a park. The kid was getting really close to Dd despite Dd not liking close contact (autistic) and walking away. The mother should have told her to back off at the best of times let alone if she had a cold.

OP posts:

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