To call out one of my workers for whispering

[Wingbackchair]

One of my workers is very good but i often walk in on her whispering with others in the staff it stops when they see me. I think it's about things I've said or have just happened at work. Should I call her out on this or just ignore it

If you’re her manager I’d probably talk to her privately and tell her to stop.

Do you mean one of your staff members? I wonder why she whispers behind your back 🤔

I'd grin, lean in and say 'I like whispering too, what are you discussing'

I’d probably say something like: ooh... have I missed anything interesting?

If you bring it up, focus on how it makes you feel rather than that she is doing something wrong. 'It makes me feel uncomfortable when you whisper in front of me.'

Just ask her why she whispers. “Calling someone out” sounds like you are going to have a punch up outside the pub.

I have a boss that does this with her customers talking about us staff members.

Highly unprofessional

Ugh some of my colleagues do this, it feels quite rude!

I wouldn't, especially as her boss. Would make you seem controlling. Ultimately it's none of your business what she's saying and she's entitled to say it quietly.

When my manager saw one of my colleagues whispering to another, they were asked to go outside if they wanted to talk privately. It is very rude manners to whisper.

I wouldn't call her out on the whispering specifically but I might take her aside and check everything's ok and if there's anything she wants to discuss or that is bothering her with work.

One of my workers
should I call her out

Well don’t you sound oh so respectful and grown up

Are you her manager then? You do have to expect a degree of being talked about because it’s not your job to be their friends, you’re going to piss them off on occasion and they’re going to talk amongst themselves.

Either ignore it or ask directly if there is a problem. If the answer is no take it at face value and move on.

@Elkey

I wouldn't, especially as her boss. Would make you seem controlling. Ultimately it's none of your business what she's saying and she's entitled to say it quietly.

Erm… doesn’t the boss normally control workplace behaviour?

You don’t know if she stops whispering when other people walk in either and as her manager you really should make sure that it isn’t making other people feel uncomfortable.
I would just say ‘ I’m sure you probably don’t realise but it can make people uncomfortable if you’re whispering when they enter a room and then you stop. I appreciate you may have something private to discuss with particular friends or colleagues but it’s best if you do it outside. ‘

@WomanStanleyWoman

Erm… doesn’t the boss normally control workplace behaviour?

Erm... that's my point: to what extent can bosses control the people they manage? This is over-policing in my view and taking the power she has too far.

worker?? what on earth?

do you mean a member of staff?

You’re her manager? Are you seriously asking for advice on MN for how to deal with the behavior of an employee who reports to you? Hand bank your manager pay check and job title because you really should be able to handle this without asking on MN.

Call her out? Are you 7? If she’s whispering with her friends in the staff room on her lunch break (her own time unless you pay her for her lunch breaks) then you have no business to police how she speaks to her friends in that setting.

Surely people are allowed to have private conversations? What if she's whispering about medical issues, or problems at home, or some other personal thing that she feels able to discuss with another staff member, but not with you? If it's not affecting her good work or anyone else's good work, you should leave her alone.

Can't anyone raise an issue with someone else without "calling them out" these days?

@katemuff

I'd grin, lean in and say 'I like whispering too, what are you discussing'

Ooh I like this

@ilovesooty

Can't anyone raise an issue with someone else without "calling them out" these days?

Exactly. So glad I don’t work there if matters are handled in that childish way rather than having adult conversations.

I hate the whisperers. We have 2 cliques in the back room at work... I work out front of both and you hear them whispering about each other constantly. It is like being at school. Luckily I just deal with customers, a lot easier!

Whenever friends or colleagues do this, I have to remove myself and suggest we go somewhere else because I think it's rude as hell and of course it makes other people paranoid. It stinks of gossiping on the playground.
Obvious exceptions are explaining your medical concerns with receptionists or giving personal details at a counter.

The person is an adult and can have whatever conversations they like. Maybe reflect on your own behaviour that might prompt employees to talk about it. Maybe approach them for a review etc and general how they are doing. "Calling out" someone for whispering is just as childish as whispering.