Trouble retaining info & keeping up in convos

[Tulipgold898]

Does anyone else experience this? I find it hard to remember stories, jokes, interesting things I’ve read etc. I also sometimes find it hard to keep up with fast moving group conversations where people are having a laugh. I guess I need more time to process information? Both of these impact on my ability to have interesting conversations. Is there any way to work on this?

My memory is ok in the sense that I have a degree and manage to work in a professional job so I’ve been able to retain enough info to get through those things.

Are you menopausal/peri menopausal? If so, HRT may help.

Yes! It got worse after I had my kids, I put it down to pregnancy brain and being somewhat isolated on mat leave, especially one that ended in lockdown and a new job. I feel stupid, like I can't think of anything to say, or anxious like my tongue's too big and I stutter. It doesn't help that I'm a bit intimidated by my new boss who's lovely but very fast paced. I've started writing everything down before meetings but it hasn't been helping much.

I find this too, I'm a bit paranoid about dementia as my dad had it reasonably young. I'd like to think in my case that it's just extreme tiredness and stress, combined with probably drinking too much alcohol and caffeine. Not alcohol-dependent levels at all, just have an inkling that I might feel more clear headed if I detoxed and meditated!

Yes... Im struggling 😩

Yes, but I have autism....also suspect I have ADHD.

Im the same. If someone asked me tell me a joke, I couldn't. I'm really jealous of people when they quote movie/tv references as a joke in conversation, I can never do that and even when I try, I still get it wrong. These type of people I've noticed make friends easily (where as I don't). Same with common sayings and lingo. Although I'm somehow really good at catchphrase, I can get it from the cartoons but not the saying on its own.
I know it, it's like right there in my mind but I can't quite get it out.
I'm really good at quiz shows where you use logic and problem solving but horrendous at general knowledge.

My general ability is good like you also, I worked in a professional corporate environment without issues.

I've been wondering lately if Ive got adhd, I match 90% of the criteria of it and explains a lot of that (plus more)

It takes me meeting someone 4-5 times before I can match up face to name.

This describes exactly what I've always experienced. I'm 26 and otherwise fit and healthy. I have always wondered if I may have autism or adhd.

Yes, I have ADHD.

As a child I thought it was just the hyperactive ‘naughty’ children who had ADHD. It is not. I would recommend you look it up

I’m not menopausal (only in my 30s) and I’ve had this issue before having a kids. And yes as wheresmrpenguin says I think people who don’t have this issue find socialising much easier. DH is the totally opposite of me and able to hold interesting conversations. I really envy his ability to remember so much as it means he can talk about anything and everything.

I can’t remember names at all. I have to ‘study’ and use memory techniques. I can never remember details like when/where people are going on holiday. I do remember Anecdotes etc but I always think my conversation must be very self absorbed because I can’t say ‘so what happened with the in-laws this weekend?’or whatever.
I sometimes make notes on my phone which if anyone found would make me look like a creepy stalker.

I feel similar but think it's peri/anxiety.

I do wonder if it's lockdown related too. Have we forgotten what to do, how to do it? Brains can't cope.

I sometimes make notes on my phone which if anyone found would make me look like a creepy stalker.

I do this!

Yes. I forget who has told me what and what I’ve told who. I’m constantly prefixing sentences with, stop me if I’ve already told you this. Everyone who knows me seems to remember more about my life and things I’ve told them than I do!! I worry I did too much partying in my youth and wrecked my brain!

I find it hard to remember stories, jokes, interesting things I’ve read

I'm exactly the same. I'm a big reader and would love to have interesting conversations about books. But once I've finished a book or article and moved on to another, I could tell you very little about the first one. I do envy people who can quote what they've read.

When people ask me for my favourite book or piece of music, I freeze. Because I honestly can't remember on the hoof.

I hate it. But I think it's just that I don't process things fully. I read fast, for instance. And I'm not the most focused of people. So I suspect that what I read or experience just doesn't go deep enough for me to recall it.

I'm glad I'm not alone

I'm the same. I feel really boring sometimes. I think it takes me longer than average to process and I have a shit memory. I often leave a conversation I think I should have asked them about x, y or z or I realise I didn't reciprocate questions eg if they asked what I was doing for the weekend I'd say but then forget to ask the same back. I don't think I'm completely shit but I could be better! I can never remember jokes and my mind goes blank when someone says "what have you been up to?". This is refreshing to read that there are so many of us!

@saraclara “So I suspect that what I read or experience just doesn't go deep enough for me to recall it.” This really resonates with me. I wonder why things don’t go deeply enough. Could it be that we aren’t spending enough time reflecting on the things that we find interesting? I feel like when I was younger my head was too full of ‘crap’ (mostly relationships, gossip etc) to focus on more important stuff and now my head is also full off ‘crap’ of a different kind (mundane family stuff). I wonder if there is something that can be done about this?

Well it's mindfulness, isn't it? Everything you do you concentrate on and be aware of how it feels etc. I guess, writing a diary every night or taking time to process the day?

I feel the same! I also have wondered about adhd and have just posted asking about signs in adults! I find it very frustrating!