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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Paying kids for chores.

29 replies

Flobbertybillop · 12/08/2021 10:09

I think my kids should help round the house (they make most if the bloody mess anyway), they think they should be paid for doing chores.
For context, I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy 17 days ago.
Aibu?

OP posts:
EileenGC · 12/08/2021 13:02

@overtherainbo while I agree that kids should be kids, have you thought about what happens when/if they ever go into shared accommodation?

I shared a house when I was younger with someone who had been brought up that way. She took care of her own mugs and did her own washing, yes, but not once in the 3 years we lived together did she clean a bathroom or mop the kitchen floor. She didn’t see the need for regular cleaning of the house as a whole - the common areas she too used every now and then. It was not her house, in her words, and a bit of dust never killed anyone. It was tedious cleaning after her and her default response was 'my mum always did XYZ in my house'.

Not saying your kids will do this in the future, but it's a real danger for those who think unless you own your house then it's the other adults who should do the grunt work.

overtherainbo · 12/08/2021 13:56

@EileenGC to be honest that's never crossed my mind. Surely she's not at home anymore, it's now her home so would have to pull her own weight. That's how I've been brought up anyways😱

Justilou1 · 12/08/2021 16:11

@Flobbertybillop sorry about that. Suspect it was an accidental cut and paste from a previous thread!!! Totally unrelated!

OhRene · 12/08/2021 20:50

[quote EileenGC]@overtherainbo while I agree that kids should be kids, have you thought about what happens when/if they ever go into shared accommodation?

I shared a house when I was younger with someone who had been brought up that way. She took care of her own mugs and did her own washing, yes, but not once in the 3 years we lived together did she clean a bathroom or mop the kitchen floor. She didn’t see the need for regular cleaning of the house as a whole - the common areas she too used every now and then. It was not her house, in her words, and a bit of dust never killed anyone. It was tedious cleaning after her and her default response was 'my mum always did XYZ in my house'.

Not saying your kids will do this in the future, but it's a real danger for those who think unless you own your house then it's the other adults who should do the grunt work.[/quote]
That's my way of thinking too but DH made me question it slightly. He did NOTHING at his mummy's house. His clothes were washed, dried, ironed and back in his drawers by the following day. His bowl, cereal and spoon were laid out for him for when he got up for work. His shoes were placed under a radiator by his mum so they'd be warm. She even popped his vitamin out of the packet and left it by his cereal bowl for him to take. He made no meals or snacks. He washed no clothes at all. His bedroom would be stripped, fresh linen put on and often, even the curtains were changed by the time he got home from work at 2pm. He never used a duster or mop.

He was 26 when I dragged him out to live with me.

I expected the worst. Turns out, he does more everyday chores than I do. He loves to get the hoover out any chance he can, sweeps daily and I don't think I've done more than a handful of loads of laundry in the 3 weeks he's had off work lately because he likes to get stuck in.

That said, the invisible jobs don't get done by him though, like wiping down the bathroom, any mopping at all, window washing or even washing out the toothbrush holder etc. (Mainly things you don't really notice until they're at the point of fucking nasty and then he still doesn't think to do them) Perhaps that's the result of no chores? Not being able to see certain jobs that don't magically get done?

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