To be a bit annoyed with this comment?

[lavenderandwisteria]

I was thinking of name changing, but never mind.

Breastfeeding failed miserably when I had ds, despite time and effort and money. I’m still not quite sure what I did wrong.

Anyway, DP and I are clearing clutter and my breast pump and various paraphernalia associated with feeding was there and he asked me if I’d try a second time or not bother and go straight to bottles.

It sounds like nothing, but it annoyed me, as if it was a small unimportant thing when it isn’t.

I don't think he meant anything by it, it was just a turn of phrase really.

I had a similar experience to you with my first and often say 'so I didn't even bother' trying to breastfeed my second. I was devastated by the 'failure' the first time round and me saying it like that doesn't change that, it's just a quick way to say it.

@lavenderandwisteria

If you mean counselling or similar no, I’m not really interested in anything like that, thanks.

OP can I gently ask why not? I think I've read some other threads by you and you are clearly not in a great place with how you're feeling about yourself. I think something needs doing about that, whether that is counselling or antidepressants.

@lavenderandwisteria

Yes. I spent a great deal of time and money trying to make it work ,so it surprised me he thought I wouldn’t even bother trying a second time.

He didn't think that though - hence him asking you?

If it was a flippant "well we won't be needing this after last time" that would be completely different.

By "a second time" did he mean with another baby? Are you pregnant?

sorry but YABU

sounds like an innocent, neutral question in the context of decluttering.

I think you are upset because seeing those things brought back unhappy memories. For which you have my sympathy

Maybe he thought you may not want to try a second time as was upsetting for you first time ? Just phrased badly as its clear you really tried, but maybe remind him again how much you tried and it upset you that it didn't happen how you want etc
But also remember its not your fault , many cannot breastfeed for lots of reasons and its not easy for all like some make it out to be