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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refer to 17 year olds as 'children'?

61 replies

containsnuts · 11/08/2021 20:21

I noticed this a lot in the media lately and wondered what other people think of it. At 17 you can get married, drive, vote (Scotland) and are considered criminally responsible but somehow still often referred to as a 'child' in non legal contexts. What's wrong with 'teenager', 'young person' or 'young adult'? What are your thoughts?

OP posts:

Original poster

containsnuts · 11/08/2021 22:27

Thanks for all your replies. When I was 17 in the early 00s the term 'teenager' was deemed to have negative connotations so we were usually referred to as 'young people'.

OP posts:

GreenWhiteViolet · 11/08/2021 22:27

YABU. Young person, teenager or young adult. I probably wouldn't refer to anyone over the age of 12 as a 'child'. Childhood and adolescence are different developmental stages and I find the idea of calling a 17-year-old a child bizarre, unless it's a parent saying 'my child' which applies at any age.

It's something of an Americanism but I find the term 'minor' useful if the point you want to emphasise is that the young person isn't yet at the legal age of majority. Expresses the same idea without the oddly infantilising connotations of 'child'.

MrsMop1964 · 11/08/2021 22:41

I frequently find myself saying to my 17 year old 'for pete's sake, you're not a child any more' when she isn't pulling her weight/tidying her room/doing homework etc.. She annoyingly (and predictably) replies 'Yes I am'. She can hardly complain then if I treat her like one!
I guess young person would be my descriptor of choice, or maybe adolescent.

Germolenequeen · 11/08/2021 23:08

YABU. Young person, teenager or young adult. I probably wouldn't refer to anyone over the age of 12 as a 'child'.

WTAF 🙄

toffeeandcream · 11/08/2021 23:51

@FizziWater

In paediatrics they often class up to 25 as children because development isn't complete until then. Loads of threads on this. 17 is a child IMO. Just because the law says they can marry doesn't make it a good idea.

My DC’s class teacher is under 25, as was the midwife who delivered my youngest so under 25s being considered ‘children’ by some seems utterly bizarre to me!

17 to me is still technically a child but close to adulthood.

Snoozer11 · 12/08/2021 01:32

If you said "those children over there" and pointed to a couple of 17 year olds, I would think you were crazy.

Tickledtrout · 12/08/2021 02:13

Can't figure out the voting choice, sorry, but 17 is definitely a young adult.

Original poster

containsnuts · 12/08/2021 05:03

@Tickledtrout

Can't figure out the voting choice, sorry, but 17 is definitely a young adult.

Apols, I didn't word it very well for voting. 😂

OP posts:

araiwa · 12/08/2021 05:33

@Tickledtrout

Can't figure out the voting choice, sorry, but 17 is definitely a young adult.

How? They're not any kind of adult?

WeAllHaveWings · 12/08/2021 05:55

In Scotland you are officially an adult at 16, and in England is 18.

I have noticed in Scotland 16-17 year olds referred to as children in the context of school/education, but any other time they are generally mentioned as (young) adults/people.

I refer to ds(17) as neither child or adult, and use "work in progress" instead.

kowari · 12/08/2021 06:03

I don't see 14 to 17 year olds as children, I have a 15 year old. Adolescents, youth?

DisgruntledPelican · 12/08/2021 06:19

A youth work background has conditioned me to refer to everyone 13-24 as ‘young people’. I definitely wouldn’t say child for a 17 year old, although I agree with @GreenWhiteViolet that it would be useful for a term like ‘minor’ to be in more frequent use if you need to highlight that a 17 year old is not yet 18.

Youth work tends to divide groups etc into 13-17 and 18-24, the former are young people (or ‘unders’) and the latter are young adults (or ‘overs’). I was 23 when I started working as a youth worker, and technically eligible for services…

CecilyP · 12/08/2021 07:24

This of course was a long time ago when the earliest age you could leave school was 13, so you were classed as an adult then.

No you weren’t. There were just plenty of children in the workforce and that was normal then. You weren’t legally an adult till age 21, though I doubt anyone would have referred to a 20 year old as a child.

tigger1001 · 12/08/2021 07:43

For me, a 17 year old isn't a child, they are a young adult. I would imagine most 17 year olds would be offended to be called a child.

Our school calls students young people. That seems an accurate description.

DollyD65 · 12/08/2021 08:25

My friends and I all have offspring in their late teens and early twenties...without exception they are referred to as ' the kids '
Only formal settings refer to them as young adults.

LemonRoses · 12/08/2021 08:27

Young adult is over eighteen.
They are children and should have the support and protection afforded to children.

Sparklingbrook · 12/08/2021 08:56

It’s funny to think that as a ‘child’ of 17 I was driving myself to my full time job looking after people’s bank accounts and serving them as a cashier .

Crocky · 12/08/2021 09:03

I had left home, was working full time and paying rent at 17. I definitely don’t consider 17 to be a child.

Sparklingbrook · 12/08/2021 09:04

@Crocky

I had left home, was working full time and paying rent at 17. I definitely don’t consider 17 to be a child.

Us ‘children’ were running the country. 😂

fatboyslimschin · 12/08/2021 09:25

Well you can married at the age of 16 but legally if you were to be arrested you would be afforded the rights of a child if you are under 18.

But its an interesting topic. Op I think I know what you've seen in the media and I wish (even though legally she is still classed as a child) she would be addressed as a young teenager because in my opinion calling her a child is turning people off from what's really happened - as a lot of people won't see her as one so feel that the story has been exaggerated.

Most people don't see 17 year olds as children, many people on here let their dc have sex in their house from the age of 15/16 (to create a 'safe' space)

So if 17 year olds are still classed as children, why are people letting 'kids' that are younger have sex in their house?

As a society we have to have clear guidelines, if they are classed as children under 18 then the legal consent to sex has to be raised to 18 OR lower the definition of adult to 16 ( the current legal age for sex)

I'd be in favour of raising it.

queenatom · 12/08/2021 09:31

When I was seventeen I was living away from home at university, working part time, paying my own bills etc, as were various of my friends. I'll confess I'd have a hard time considering myself a child in that context!

Chillychangchoo · 12/08/2021 09:36

Not sure but my mother still calls me and my siblings “the kids” and we are all the wrong side of 30 🤣.

Porcupineintherough · 12/08/2021 09:38

In most European countries adulthood begins at 18 not 16. Young person covers the 16-24 range.

borntobequiet · 12/08/2021 09:45

No person of 17 will appreciate being called a child, even if their behaviour is totally childish. OTOH I’m 68 and have no problem with being described as elderly, because I am (despite still being fitter, stronger and healthier than many younger people I know - but I’m less strong, fit and healthy than I used to be, which is what matters).

Original poster

containsnuts · 12/08/2021 09:52

"Op I think I know what you've seen in the media and I wish (even though legally she is still classed as a child) she would be addressed as a young teenager because in my opinion calling her a child is turning people off from what's really happened - as a lot of people won't see her as one so feel that the story has been exaggerated."

No idea what this is referring to. Sounds concerning - will google for interest. My post was more a general observation not referring to anything in particular. 💕

OP posts:

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