To think that alcohol changes brain chemistry while drinking .

[alltoexcess]

I had far too much alcohol
To drink last night , with friends .
I am In a very happy relationship of one year and we are committed and talk of the future. We are both damaged, if you will; from betrayal and abuse in our past relationships. The last of both ended two years ago. I have no reason not to trust him. Not one .... until I drink too much alcohol.
It seems I go into a type of trance where I imagine all sorts of betrayal and lies. it builds and builds until I am
Nearly convinced he is being unfaithful .
AIBU to think that it's altered brain chemistry coupled with a deep seated fear of being lied to and betrayed again .
I wake the next morning and feel utterly ridiculous. Any ideas here or experiences please?

@alltoexcess

To the extent that I become an absolute paranoid mess???

Yes absolutely.

Tangent and slight taat but there’s a thread running where a partner said some horrible things while drunk. Most responders there said it’s always the truth that comes out when you’re drunk.

On this one it seems to be accepted you say and do things that don’t really reflect your true feelings.

Coincidence this thread is about a woman and that one a man?

Op I think you’ve clicked the combination of drinks that don’t work for you, and the underlying reasons so seem pretty aware.

OP, have you honestly never heard of don't mix the grape with the grain?! Wine and spirits, especially the dark ones like whiskey, are never, ever a good combination or idea. Ever.

I've never mixed alcoholic and have had it had such a personality changing effect on me. It was like I was completely sober and rational at that time

Alcohol is Alcohol no matter what the source is.
Imo you might benefit from some counselling as maybe you do have issues from past relationships that haven't been fully resolved.
When I used to drink I would have full conversations with people I had absolutely no recollection about. Its scary. It was only a matter of time until something really bad would happen.
Take care of yourself. Ask if its worth it. Each to their own and all that xxx

Agree with pp alcohol is alcohol and any type, with the same number of units drank over the same period will make you equally drunk. The grape / grain saying is a myth.

But I also believe the combination of your memories, marketing and preconceptions of your drink of choice (for example champagne is for parties and celebrations), venue, occasion, mood, memories etc etc may trigger the different responses you are experiencing.

Avoiding the combination sounds like the best plan.

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm

I've already said upthread that alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. You asking how anyone over the age of 5 doesn't understand that makes you a patronising twat.

but the definition of drug is in the infant school curriculum

Wine after beer , makes you feel queer
Beer after wine, makes you feel fine

Or, it might be the other way round....

@Twatstick

Wine after beer , makes you feel queer Beer after wine, makes you feel fine

Or, it might be the other way round....

Beer then wine, you’ll feel fine Wine then beer, you’ll feel queer

You’ve got me doubting myself now though…

Active ingredient in alcoholic drinks: ethanol. The rest is just flavouring. Ethanol lowers inhibitions and changes your behaviour. The extent to which it does so depends on how much ethanol you drink. The chances are on the nights you drink wine and whisky you're drinking more ethanol, not least because whisky is stronger than wine, and you're probably only move onto whisky when you've had a fair bit of wine and your judgement is a little impaired already.

Lots of people swear that Nurofen works better than Sainsbury's ibuprofen. Any difference will be autosuggestion I reckon.

Of course grape and grain isn't a myth. Unless you only have 1 glass of wine and 1 whiskey, maybe. 🙄

@CremeEggThief

Of course grape and grain isn't a myth. Unless you only have 1 glass of wine and 1 whiskey, maybe. 🙄

Because you say so?

There have been scientific studies demonstrating it’s purely the amount of alcohol.

Different drinks affect me differently for sure.

I can drink a bottle of Prosecco and be a bit giggly but essentially fine. Two large glasses of white wine I’d be actually drunk. Same quantity of red wine I’d probably vomit.

Likewise I can drink a fair amount of G&T with little effect. Rum and I’d be dribbling.

Whisky is known for this, every single person I know who drinks it becomes a sullen, grumpy, paranoid angry mess. I’d just stop with the whisky.

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm

I've already said upthread that alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. You asking how anyone over the age of 5 doesn't understand that makes you a patronising twat.

Is there any need for the personal attack?

The problem here is that we tend to think alcohol changes the behaviour of other people but not of ourselves. We all know that most of the people in a and e on a weekend night are there due to alcohol, and we know most fights happen after alcohol, but it's hard to believe our own less extreme negative behaviour is due to alcohol. We want to believe alcohol makes us have a good time, but often it makes us act like wankers, get paranoid and damage relationships.

PurpleDaisies, from my own personal experiences of heavy drinking and observations of others when they have. Perhaps you have lived a sheltered life where you haven't been around it or exposed to it, but this is impossible when you've grown up in a heavy drinking culture.

For example my dad used to drink 14-20 pints regularly on a session, but he would only come across as tipsy. I only saw him falling down drunk/ being sick etc. when he'd swapped a couple of those pints for gin and bitter lemon. The one time I can remember having to clean up my mum's vomit and put her to bed when I was 16/17, it was after most of a bottle of vodka (her normal drink) and some wine into the mix. I love the buzz of a double gin with a few ciders, but it makes me aggressive, so I don't do it very often at all.

Interesting, i can drink copious amounts of white wine and be ok, less so on red i,m a fairly happy drunk, a bit loud perhaps but if i drink vodka i get quite argumentative and challenging and seem to bypass the nice happy phase.

@alltoexcess

Yes it absolutely is and I won't be doing that again. I just wondered if it had an effect like that on anyone on here . I haven't discussed it irl because I feel stupid and sound unhinged

Has the same effect on me. Not always but yes sometimes its like im utterly paranoid and all these scenarios race through my mind and I can't control it.

I thought it was just me! I figured it stemmed from past relationship shit and at one point I thought I was seriously losing my mind. The common factor was always alcohol.

But I also believe the combination of your memories, marketing and preconceptions of your drink of choice (for example champagne is for parties and celebrations), venue, occasion, mood, memories etc etc may trigger the different responses you are experiencing.

I think this is right. I'd never thought of that before and would explain why it doesn't happen every single time. Its like there's a trigger of some sort and my happy drunk self turns into an emotional, argumentative, paranoid mess in equal levels.
So yes, the drink combined with perhaps a smell or sound or feeling or topic of discussion even, triggers some sort of unconscious memory.

You're a genius @WeAllHaveWings