To often think i'm really shit at my job?

[RainbowBriteUk]

I'm not but in my last job I was treated horribly by the CEO even though it was a tiny team and it's stayed with me. Add to that a redundancy of my job before that and it's really affecting the way I feel.

I'm feeling really down at the moment anyway with depression. I've started a brand new project from scratch for an organisation and have lots of great comments from my boss in my one to ones and appraisals. I am struggling with some aspects of the role but that's due to my low confidence more than anything and I tend to procrastinate on these parts of my job until the very last minute.

I over analyse everything and come home and have a cry some nights because I think i'm doing such a shit job. Even a comment from my boss which is never negative but he might question something has me thinking that I'll get the sack or he thinks i'm shit at my role. I don't know what to do.

You get better at things by practicing, so prioritise the more difficult aspects and then you can be super speedy at the other bits.

Thanks @underneaththeash. I will certainly try that.

I feel like this too. I'm constantly on edge and it's so draining. I actually had a course of CBT, which helped a little. It's still there but I can usually nip it in the bud before it becomes a full on panic attack.

When you know absolutely everything in your role, and can do the job with your eyes closed; then that may mean that you are ready to move on.

In this case; it sounds like you are working on a complex new project which could give you opportunities to develop new skills. (and the people around you are really confident in you)

If you are in a larger organisation, maybe see if they have a mentoring programme?

If you find that you really can't switch off and are getting stressed or upset in the evening, then maybe speak with your GP? Lots of people experience stress and anxiety, and talking therapies like CBT can really help. It sounds like you've had to deal with some difficult things in the past which have impacted your confidence.

Best of luck; (and try to not be too hard on yourself).

Hey OP, it sounds as though you're doing well. As a PP has suggested, some CBT might help. In the interim, can you imagine yourself succeeding and being congratulated by your team/clients/boss instead of thinking about potential mistakes. FWIW I was in a similar position a few years ago on a temporary secondment in an unfamiliar area and it was not until a very, very hard to please senior team member started a campaign to have me stay that I realised I was any good (despite good feedback). Give it time, you sound diligent and that's at least half the battle.