He forgot our anniversary ☹

[Currysauceandchips]

24 years married today. I know its a long time, but I still got him a card and cooked a meal/ bottle of fizz.
He didn't even get me a card and only said happy anniversary after I did. He forgot and I feel sad. AIBU? He said he felt bad because I got him a card! My friends DH buys her jewellery/ spa days/ weekends away for theirs. I feel unappreciated and like he is not arsed any more. He never used to forget!

Oh and congratulations!

Maybe turn it into a discussion about what you want to do for your 25th so you have a year to look forward to it. Maybe plan a weekend away, party, nice meal?

We rarely remember ours. Most years we forget it completely. If I think about it then I know it is at the end of August and will be our 28th this month.

The only one we have ever made a point of remembering and actually celebrating was our 25th (silver) and that was by booking ourselves a holiday for a year later.

My parents were the same. In fact, the only thing that regularly reminded either of them that it actually was their anniversary at all was when a card from my grandma would arrive in the post. The only ones they ever actually celebrated at all were their silver, golden and diamond ones.

I guess you have to be clear though on whether either of you actually gives a shit though. It clearly matters to OP.

My DH never forgets, but I do agree it’s how you treat each other the rest of the year that counts.

@AnneLovesGilbert

I never understand these posts. Don’t people discuss anniversaries in advance if they’re something you usually celebrate?

We always have a quick chat about whether or not to do anything, it takes seconds and goes something like:

DH: it’s our anniversary in a few weeks, fancy lunch somewhere?
Me: that sounds nice, are we doing presents this year?
DH: yes but we’ve got x coming up to pay for so let’s keep it small
Me: good plan

Agree with this. I also see no reason why my husband should treat me, it is just as much his anniversary. We decide together whether, if and how we will mark the day. We wouldn’t keep quiet, see if the other remembers and then feel sorry for ourselves if not.

We forgot last year but as it was when shit suddenly got real, neither of us gave it a second thought.

OP, considering the effort you have gone to I would expect him to produce something in the next 24 hours.

If not you need to express your disappointment.

I had to tell my husband and the children it was his birthday recently, he had forgotten AGAIN.🤷‍♀️

If it's any consolation op, I always forget my wedding anniversary and it's on my DH birthday. You'd think I'd remember almost 40 years in 😂

Is he a good husband for the rest of the year? That's the important bit, not jewelry and spa days on your wedding anniversary.

Other people not caring about their anniversary doesn't mean that OP's husband forgetting is ok.

OP tell him he can make it up to you at the weekend by taking you somewhere nice!

YANBU.

My DH forgot our 4th anniversary last year. I was so upset, and to his credit he was really upset when he realised.

He made it up to me this year, and I hope he never does it again.

I suggest you tell your DH that you’re hurt and expect some effort to be made.

DP has a track record in forgetting, but secretly I'm quite pleased when he does. This is because it gives me a chance to be terribly brave about it, look as if I'm really upset but trying to get over it, have a little wobble of the lip - you get the idea. He then feels really guilty and buys me a much better present than he would have done if he'd remembered.