If your partner said this to you

10 replies

stupidasusual · 10/08/2021 23:53

" your like a closed book " would you feel offended by that ? Said by partner of 10years ?
I've no confidence it's been trodden down but him and his family for a while, when I have opened up all's I get is your over reacting your sensitive etc

OP posts:

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 10/08/2021 23:55

Probably not but it depends on context and how it was said.

At the risk of taking his side.........we need more information.

GoodMorrowFairMaiden · 10/08/2021 23:57

No because it’s quite true. It’s not a particularly insulting thing to say but I think you’ve had worse said to you if your confidence has been trodden down by him.
He sounds abusive and you should get out.

LtDansleg · 10/08/2021 23:58

I don’t think it’s a bad thing

Whatinthelord · 10/08/2021 23:58

As above it depends on context.
If my partner said that to me it would probably trigger a whole conversation.

“What does that mean”. “Give me some example of when/why you think I’m a closed book” etc

Original poster

stupidasusual · 11/08/2021 00:01

I did ask him what he meant and he said he doesn't know how to read me anymore, I literally have no confidence ( something I'm working on ) this is because of him and his family who have been complete arseholes. He said it tonight because he didn't know if I wanted sex or not

OP posts:

GoodMorrowFairMaiden · 11/08/2021 00:04

It sounds like you’re protecting yourself op. You don’t need to live like this.

saraclara · 11/08/2021 00:06

I wouldn't be offended by that on its own. But that's because I am quite closed. So it would just stimulate a conversation.

But it sounds like the backstory is the problem here, not the phrase itself.

Whatinthelord · 11/08/2021 00:10

@stupidasusual

“Doesn’t know how to read me” sounds pretty vague too to be honest.

What does he mean by being able to read you? Does he mean he doesn’t know how you feel?

In all honesty, given you think he and his family have broken your confidence because of how they have treated you, why are you with him anyway. Why are you worrying that he thinks you’re a closed book if he and his family treat you so badly? If they’re abuse this is probably just another way for him to abuse you….gaslighting maybe

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 11/08/2021 00:12

if mine said that to me it would be a sarcastic comment and I'd PMSL.
I don't think I could be more "what you see is what you get & wearing my heart on my sleeve" if I tried.

I can't gauge if it was insulting or an observation or said out of frustration.
you both need to work on communicating better

PurpleOkapi · 11/08/2021 00:32

Probably not, depending on context. If it was just a comment on tendency to not be openly emotional, I'd probably take it as a compliment, or at least as a neutral observation. If it was a complaint about how he was never sure what I wanted or how to make me happy, it would prompt a deeper conversation about why he felt that way and what we could both do to communicate better.

Flip