What tiny things have you done to specifically annoy someone?

[FlyingSoHigh]

My Mil came from a pretty wealthy family and definitely saw herself as a 'cut above' most people.
So I always used to chop carrots into rounds when she came for a meal as I knew she thought it was 'common'; posh people always cut carrots into sticks.
It was a tiny thing but it gave me so much pleasure over the years.
Can anyone beat passive-aggressive cooked carrots?

@Garriet

Our smart tv has a YouTube app, and I can choose videos on my iPad and cast them to the TV app.

Of course, there are times my husband is downstairs watching TV and I’m upstairs on my iPad, when I can’t resist choosing a wee video to interrupt his viewing.

He’s recently had New Kids On The Block Live In Concert, the Got Any Grapes duck, Artax dying in Neverending Story, some sporn, and a Minecraft rap.

He hasn’t pissed me off or anything, it’s just how we are.

That duck will haunt me until the day I die. My son and nephew were obsessed with it.

You are an evil genius. 11 points

@alltheemptyfields

Instead of blaming me, why don't you blame the tailgaters?

Guessing people slowing down when you glue them irritates YOU for a reason

And maybe you should read the guidance properly too...

Nope - I don’t tailgate, nor do I act like an idiot if I’m tailgated. I do exactly as the RAC advises, it’s much safer all round.

There's a post about a dog toy upthread that has reminded me of this.

Between our house and our next door neighbours' house when I was small, there was mostly hedge on our side and chicken-wire on theirs. There was a small gap where the hedge had got a bit leggy in one area.

We once watched as a different neighbours' cat went and sat right in the gap and smirked through the wire at next door's Jack Russell until it worked itself up into an absolute frenzy. At that point, the neighbour charged out and gave the dog a thorough bollocking. Clearly delighted, the cat casually sauntered away, tail aloft.

There's also another post about gaming that reminded me of this.

At one point, the ex and I liked to play the winter sports game on the wii. He had had more practice at the games than I did and was far more competitive so held the high score on all of the games. One afternoon whilst he was out, I was messing about on the ski-jump and vastly exceeded his score.

"You must have cheated!", he spluttered, when he found out.

So I spent the next afternoon beating his high-scores on all the games. We didn't play on the wii much after that.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I don't know if this winds people up or not but I still do it!

I have a name that can be misspelled easily by adding another letter onto the end. Too many people do this in reply to emails, DESPITE it being FULLY OBVIOUS in my own email address how my name is spelled.

So when I reply, I add the extra letter to the end of their name too.

I would say it works in about 2/3 of cases, that they realise and don't do it again.

I do this too @ThumbWitchesAbroad - I get so many emails calling me Emma so I drop off the first letter of their name when I reply and they never do it again!

I worked for a very large insurance company. My mate and I were lowly but we lorded over by a graduate who talked of nothing but his degree (I was off to University and she was there). However, his degree was all.

When not bugging himself up as an academic, he talked about the bodywork on his "immaculate" car. As if he had sex with the car.

We advertised it for sale, using his work number (pre internet) in the local paper. The car was advertised very cheaply with the title "Bodywork tatty, hence low price."

He spent days fielding calls while we sniggered.

OH has reminded me what we did to his DF and DFs Lady Friend (partner isn't right, girlfriend definitely isn't they are in their 70s.. Lady Friend will have to do)...

You need some context: DD is a rather softly spoken music nerd who is at heart a rather scruffy cheapskate sort of a man, a very talented musician, wildly enjoying his old age...

LF is a very NAICE lady of advancing years, who likes listening to talented musicians and was DF's sort of groupie for some years. She's from a rather posh hyphenated part of the south, seems nice from what I can tell but HKLP... mm.

They visited us for OH's birthday, took us out for a meal and had asked OH to book a table at his favourite restaurant, anywhere was fine, LF would eat anything and OH knew his DF's tastes...

We went to a burger restaurant, not late at night, serves a range of foods but quite American which we all like...

And LF did not. But amusingly, DF did not like to be clear that he likes it, because it turns out.. he's pretending to be MUCH classier than he actually is...

The fart jokes were down by 90% and I could see visible wincing from her when one did slip out (har har), he wiped his beard clean far more often, there was just much more effort to be nice going on all round really..

But he would not be honest and tell her he likes this sort of food and not posh fancy food, he is too mean to pay for posh fancy food, he does not LIKE posh fancy food... he let her think it was MY insistance that we went there...

So next time they came to visit... I asked him in front of her which option he'd like... happy friendly burger diner that he loves (and has asked to go to prior to LF existance)... or EYE WATERINGLY expensive michelin star place in a super high end local hotel...

He couldn't admit there was no WAY he was paying for the posh option, but he couldn't agree to the dirty burger option... I actually thought I might have broken him, I really did, the squirming was intense!

He did just about squeak out that we'd go to the posh place and then I rang and they were fully booked (I knew they were, its like a six month waiting list to go there but he would not know that as hes not remotely into that sort of thing) so I let him off the hook.

At least this time LF didn't give me daggers all night and I got to enjoy her attempting to eat a burger and loaded fries whilst holding knife like pen (astonishing really!).

@MaMelon

If the DC or DH want to wind me up they’ll buy me patterned kitchen towel or coloured loo roll. Plain white only, people!!! 😡 They might also put the loo roll on with the end of the paper underneath rather than over the top.

Even typing that was difficult.

My ex used to do that to the loo roll. It used to drive me crazy! I ended up taking the holder off the wall so the rolls had to sit on the cistern instead 😁

@HPLikecraft

When DH is being irksome I’ll find a reason to refer to his “knickers” rather than pants. “I’ve just put away a pile of your clean knickers” I also refer to his wallet as his “purse”.

🤣 I say purse too, it never gets old to me

Someone from my floor at work deliberately pressed the button to shut the lift door before I could get in. I ran down to the next floor and pressed the button so the lift would stop. I did this on all 6 floors of the building. Petty but it still amuses me.

A post upthread reminded me of another incident when I worked in banking.
Head of one of our trading desks came huffing and puffing to my desk demanding that I processed the forms for a potential client immediately (they had been returned, rejected because of incorrect information). I asked if the desk had committed to a trade ( against company policy to do so without sign off from my dept) and he became engaged, shouting and literally jumping up and down.
I waited until he had finished his tantrum and then explained very politely, and quietly, that the information was incorrect. That a company in Morocco was not regulated by NASDAQ and the form we had received appeared to have been copied and pasted.
He went fairly quiet after that and sent one of his lackeys back with revised paperwork pretty promptly.

@anonymouslyusing

Someone from my floor at work deliberately pressed the button to shut the lift door before I could get in. I ran down to the next floor and pressed the button so the lift would stop. I did this on all 6 floors of the building. Petty but it still amuses me.

Why didn't you just get in at the next floor down if you got there before the lift?

Why didn't you just get in at the next floor down if you got there before the lift?

what would be the fun of that?

@Crazysheep

We used to have really inconsiderate neighbours who would let their dog come in to our garden and never come in to clean the poo up. We had it out with them numerous times but nothing changed. My DD discovered one day quite accidentally that if she squeaked her new toy the dog could clearly hear it through our very thin walls and would go crazy barking and yelping. We had great fun moving it from room to room for quite some time.

Sounds like one of those fish tank cleaning magnet things.

I tell my MIL and SIL white lies to see how quickly they get back to me through other people. It's hilarious.

@Lactarius

I bought (in fact I specifically imported it from the USA) a version of the bleepy thing previously mentioned. This one (an Annoyotron from Think Geek, sadly no longer available) had a number of settings, one of which was the voice of a little girl saying "Help me" in a plaintive tone. You could only really hear it when there was little ambient noise.

I used to fix it under the desk of a staff member who liked to work late when there were few others in the office.

This is really shitty and gaslighty. Had the colleague done something to upset you? I find the idea really upsetting :(

@alltheemptyfields

Why didn't you just get in at the next floor down if you got there before the lift?

what would be the fun of that?

Not having to run down six flights of stairs in a race against a lift, that you had been intending to use?

Beating the lift and then getting in and smiling at the person who tried to stop you getting it would be great.

@WiddlinDiddlin

OH has reminded me what we did to his DF and DFs Lady Friend (partner isn't right, girlfriend definitely isn't they are in their 70s.. Lady Friend will have to do)...

You need some context: DD is a rather softly spoken music nerd who is at heart a rather scruffy cheapskate sort of a man, a very talented musician, wildly enjoying his old age...

LF is a very NAICE lady of advancing years, who likes listening to talented musicians and was DF's sort of groupie for some years. She's from a rather posh hyphenated part of the south, seems nice from what I can tell but HKLP... mm.

They visited us for OH's birthday, took us out for a meal and had asked OH to book a table at his favourite restaurant, anywhere was fine, LF would eat anything and OH knew his DF's tastes...

We went to a burger restaurant, not late at night, serves a range of foods but quite American which we all like...

And LF did not. But amusingly, DF did not like to be clear that he likes it, because it turns out.. he's pretending to be MUCH classier than he actually is...

The fart jokes were down by 90% and I could see visible wincing from her when one did slip out (har har), he wiped his beard clean far more often, there was just much more effort to be nice going on all round really..

But he would not be honest and tell her he likes this sort of food and not posh fancy food, he is too mean to pay for posh fancy food, he does not LIKE posh fancy food... he let her think it was MY insistance that we went there...

So next time they came to visit... I asked him in front of her which option he'd like... happy friendly burger diner that he loves (and has asked to go to prior to LF existance)... or EYE WATERINGLY expensive michelin star place in a super high end local hotel...

He couldn't admit there was no WAY he was paying for the posh option, but he couldn't agree to the dirty burger option... I actually thought I might have broken him, I really did, the squirming was intense!

He did just about squeak out that we'd go to the posh place and then I rang and they were fully booked (I knew they were, its like a six month waiting list to go there but he would not know that as hes not remotely into that sort of thing) so I let him off the hook.

At least this time LF didn't give me daggers all night and I got to enjoy her attempting to eat a burger and loaded fries whilst holding knife like pen (astonishing really!).

There is so much wrong with this, but I’ll single out the fact that you are sneering at this poor woman for holding her knife like a pen (‘HKLP’),, thus according to you betraying her non-U origins, whilst in the next breath you use the phrase “out for a meal”! What would Nancy Mitford say? I’ll tell you: “meal is for chickens”. Judge not, etc.

Why would you deliberately choose to cause your father in law embarrassment?

He couldn't admit there was no WAY he was paying for the posh option... I actually thought I might have broken him, I really did, the squirming was intense!

So you thought it was funny to make a man in his seventies, your father in law, ‘squirm’ by trying to shame him into booking a restaurant more expensive than he could afford? If he wanted to behave in a certain way around his ‘lady friend’, why not just respect his wishes? Why did you need to torment him, and find reasons to sneer at her? Getting a bit above themselves, were they?

As @ActonSquirrel noted upthread: it’s only a joke if the other person is laughing.

@CommanderBurnham

I tell my MIL and SIL white lies to see how quickly they get back to me through other people. It's hilarious.

Is that you, Colleen?

No lol!

Agree with ‘it’s only a joke if the other person is laughing’.

Some of these are light hearted passive aggressive small things. Quite a lot of them are psychotic and the sort of thing that just makes the world a worse place to live in a little bit at a time. Awful.

RandomCatGenerator Fri 13-Aug-21 23:13:53

This is really shitty and gaslighty. Had the colleague done something to upset you? I find the idea really upsetting sad

Nope - it was purely done for my own (and the rest of the team's) amusement. It was only used a few times as the battery ran out. It should be noted that there was no reason that a child would ever have been in the building so it wasn't likely to cause alarm.

A different team member was petrified of spiders. I found that if I focused about a foot above her head when talking to her she would get increasingly antsy.

Jokes were only played on those that reciprocated and the team was generally fairly happy except for the time when we told our decision to rename the team from "Team 2" to "The Soviet Socialist Republic of Team 2" complete with red banners, propaganda posters and border controls was overturned by management.

I make a disgusted face and ask DP if he's brushed his teeth when he climbs into bed at night. It's obvious he has but the look on his face as he thinks I've insulted his breath is just too amusing.

If we're in the car and we hear someone beep at someone else, I always say "who's beeping?!" He usually shouts back "how the fuck should I know?!" It's so funny to watch especially as I ask every single time.

FIL's wife is a diehard Christian, I'm a pagan witch. She's horrible to me because of it so when I know I'm going to see I wear all black, as many pentagrams as possible, fiddling with crystals whilst muttering under my breath. She doesn't visit that much now...

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I don't know if this winds people up or not but I still do it!

I have a name that can be misspelled easily by adding another letter onto the end. Too many people do this in reply to emails, DESPITE it being FULLY OBVIOUS in my own email address how my name is spelled.

So when I reply, I add the extra letter to the end of their name too.

I would say it works in about 2/3 of cases, that they realise and don't do it again.

Sheer genius -love it!!!!!

@LunaBunaTuna - I'm sorry, you didn't get it - but I did get a good laugh out of the idea of being called Christ!

DP is ALWAYS forgetting to take stuff with him - for example, his towel into the shower or his radio into a room he's doing DIY in. He then shouts my name really loudly to bring whatever it is. This happens almost every day and drives me bananas. Sometimes I quickly put my headphones on and pretend I didn't hear him, just for the satisfaction of watching him appear with a quizzical expression on his face because I haven't gone rushing in with said item.