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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think she is outright rude!

19 replies

Bustamove90 · 10/08/2021 21:51

So bit of background....known this 'friend' since I was little. We were really close in our early 20s, always made an effort with her when no one else did. Especially when she had her children young. We kind of drifted abit when her children grew up a bit and I had my Ds. She then had some more children, I was there to listen to her when she was going through hard times etc.
I haven't really seen her much since the 1st lock down last year. But text on and off. When I have seen her it's always been me trying to arrange.
Had arranged to have seen her today in the afternoon.
Text her last night to see what the plan was. She asked me what I wanted to do. I said you can come here or I can come to you, don't mind. She replied she will let me know in the morning as she didn't know if 1 of her DC were going out.

Well I heard nothing. She's posted on social media but couldn't even bother to message me. Not even a sorry I can't do today.

AIBU to be so annoyed? I think I'm done with her know, she isn't really a friend is she?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2021 21:55

She's no friend of yours. Block and move on.

Wannabegreenfingers · 10/08/2021 22:00

Yep, I'm learning the hard way that not replying to messages is a thing. Sorry your 'friend'did this to you.

phishy · 10/08/2021 22:01

YANBU. Stop texting and arranging anything, concentrate on those who care.

KarmaStar · 10/08/2021 22:03

Don't think twice,block her and ignore any attempts to speak to you.She's shown she doesn't respect you or wants to spend time with you.
Her loss.Yanbu.💐

AntiHop · 10/08/2021 22:03

That's so rude. Cancelling at the last minute is bad enough, but this a whole new level.

Bookishnerd · 10/08/2021 22:05

I won't minimise the impact on you - it IS rude and it's not fair.

But, just to say that not texting back has become a bit of a thing during lockdown. It's part of the technological overload we're all experiencing www.tyla.com/life/tech-bad-replying-messages-texting-back-lockdown-digital-burnout-smartphone-20200621

Original poster
Bustamove90 · 10/08/2021 22:09

@Bookishnerd

I won't minimise the impact on you - it IS rude and it's not fair.

But, just to say that not texting back has become a bit of a thing during lockdown. It's part of the technological overload we're all experiencing www.tyla.com/life/tech-bad-replying-messages-texting-back-lockdown-digital-burnout-smartphone-20200621

I kind of get that for texts like "how have you been? What have you been up to?" But for ones where you are suppose to see that person on a specific day I'm not so sure 😕
OP posts:
Original poster
Bustamove90 · 10/08/2021 22:17

Just made me feel a bit rubbish really even though I know she's rude

OP posts:
atlastifoundit · 10/08/2021 22:37

I had a so-called friend like this once - the last straw for me was after having tried to arrange a meet-up day and time (when she'd said to me that it was important that people keep in touch), she eventually texted back to tell me that we couldn't meet up because she was 'seeing friends'.

I cut her off after that.

PizzaPiePizzaPie · 10/08/2021 22:40

I had a ‘friend’ like this. Make plans, agree to finalise in the morning. She would then ignore messages and either post she was somewhere else on FB or message that night and say ‘oh I couldn’t be bothered’.
I don’t care about someone cancelling but i do care about having my time wasted waiting on someone. Not so bad for me but often DD was involved to see her DD and would get upset.

Original poster
Bustamove90 · 11/08/2021 06:39

@PizzaPiePizzaPie

I had a ‘friend’ like this. Make plans, agree to finalise in the morning. She would then ignore messages and either post she was somewhere else on FB or message that night and say ‘oh I couldn’t be bothered’. I don’t care about someone cancelling but i do care about having my time wasted waiting on someone. Not so bad for me but often DD was involved to see her DD and would get upset.
She would post she was somewhere else? That's really harsh!
OP posts:
Original poster
Bustamove90 · 11/08/2021 06:40

@atlastifoundit

I had a so-called friend like this once - the last straw for me was after having tried to arrange a meet-up day and time (when she'd said to me that it was important that people keep in touch), she eventually texted back to tell me that we couldn't meet up because she was 'seeing friends'.

I cut her off after that.

I dont blame you for it being the last straw. That's awful
OP posts:
Girasole02 · 11/08/2021 07:46

I had a flaky friend who I gave the benefit ofvthe doubt to far more than she deserved. I booked theatre tickets as per our plans. She texted to say she couldn't go as she had to take her son to hospital appointment and wouldn't be back in time. I was irritated but didn't make a fuss and arranged that someone else would come with so as not to waste the ticket. Fast forward to when we were supposed to be going and she posts photos of them both at a football match the other end of the country!! I 'liked' the photo so that she would know I'd seen it then cut her loose.
This was very recently and the lies still hurt. What she doesn't know or gave me credit for is that if she had said that she was sorry but there was a match she preferred to attend, I would have been fine about it. First chance to go after restrictions lifted etc. I am worth more than being lied to and she would have known that I would see the photo but seemingly didn't care.
Made me view how I trust people and see friendships. Hand hold to everyone who feels the same.

Original poster
Bustamove90 · 11/08/2021 19:00

I messaged her yesterday saying I guess you were busy? She hasn't clicked on it even though she's been online and posted on social media.
I don't know if I should confront her saying I think it's a bit rude or just straight block her and move on!

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 11/08/2021 19:35

So much angst on these threads. Block her/move on/be a doormat… your choice

Pottedpalm · 11/08/2021 19:37

@PizzaPiePizzaPie

I had a ‘friend’ like this. Make plans, agree to finalise in the morning. She would then ignore messages and either post she was somewhere else on FB or message that night and say ‘oh I couldn’t be bothered’. I don’t care about someone cancelling but i do care about having my time wasted waiting on someone. Not so bad for me but often DD was involved to see her DD and would get upset.
If someone told me they ‘ couldn’t be bothered’ once that would be the last time I bothered with them. Ignore!
PizzaPiePizzaPie · 11/08/2021 20:12

I knew her because DDs were friends. She would be okay for a while and then do it again.
We drifted apart and then she moved away anyway (and then complained I wouldn’t travel the considerable distance to visit). I started avoiding her as she became obsessed that I should want to take both of her kids all the time and moaning her and her boyfriend couldn’t go away ‘hint hint’. Err no

Original poster
Bustamove90 · 11/08/2021 21:25

@Pottedpalm

So much angst on these threads. Block her/move on/be a doormat… your choice
Not helpful
OP posts:
Mary46 · 11/08/2021 22:06

Plan nothing again with her. Op I have been caught too I suit myself now. Always flexible when people wanted meet me but found when they got working silence. It works both ways in friendships

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