To be pissed off with husbands gaming?

[delamina]

Me and husband have 2 DCs, they're 22 months and 3 months old. He's a teacher so he's currently off work, but I'm still having to entertain DS whilst looking after DD.

DH is constantly gaming, whenever I ask him to help me, he complains and says it's his holiday etc and that I'm BU for complaining about it.

AIBU?

he's being selfish. Is any money being spent with this gaming?

Nope
He’s not acting like a dad, he’s like a teenager
Any redeeming qualities?

Yanbu

You are married to an overgrown child. He doesn’t deserve you or your DC. I would be seething with resentment (and making plans to leave) if he was my DC father. Unfortunately you don’t actually know what sort of fathers they will be until they are one.

and for you as you are basically a single mum already. It would be a lot less frustrating if you were actually on your own.

I am a teacher. The school holidays change once you have children, and you can't just arse arse around any more. Sounds like he needs to adjust to parenthood

Take the fuse out of the WiFi router.

I'm also waiting for the massive drip feed that he never does anything with the kids the rest of the time either.

Ask him when your holiday is.

He needs to grow up. I'd make sure there are plenty of supplies, hand the dcs over to him and say you need some air to clear your head. A couple of hours in the local pool should do it .
My ex was like that. He rang me saying he couldn't cope and I needed to come home, when I was having my first haircut after ds was born. So I had highlights

He'll work it out.

YAdefinitelyNBU
He's a jerk.

@PJday41

Take the fuse out of the WiFi router.

I'm also waiting for the massive drip feed that he never does anything with the kids the rest of the time either.

Might not be online gaming though, and anyway he can just use his phone as a mobile hotspot. Given that he's a teacher he will have an unlimited data plan no doubt.

Point out to him that he's on holiday from his job, not from his life as a husband and a father.

Don't ask for help. It's not "helping", it's doing his share of the parenting.

Don’t ask for help. You hand over a child or two and saying “here you go, I need to pop out for a bit”. He will never learn to interact and look after them unless he is left in charge.

@Thebookswereherfriends

Don’t ask for help. You hand over a child or two and saying “here you go, I need to pop out for a bit”. He will never learn to interact and look after them unless he is left in charge.

This.

Does he do his share when he isn't on holiday?

Why are you asking him to help you?

He's not "helping" you because it's not your job in the first place. This is a shared responsibility

Is he 13? Gross.

He needs to step up or fuck off. Your life would be so much easier without a manchild in it.

It’s not the gaming in itself, it’s the selfish attitude - ‘his holidays’. Are you planning on going back to work? If so, you could let him know that as ‘his’ holidays fall over the school holidays he’ll have to be responsible all summer/Christmas/half term as you’ll be using ‘your’ holidays in term time.

YANBU. When's your holiday? Because if you're a SAHM then you are contributing equally to your family, him working full time and you being a SAHM. So, unless he doesn't believe that what you do is an equal contribution (and he should), then his "work hours" are your "work hours" too, and weekends and his time off should be equal too.

He does things with DS, but he never gets up during the night whenever DD cries.

@delamina

Me and husband have 2 DCs, they're 22 months and 3 months old. He's a teacher so he's currently off work, but I'm still having to entertain DS whilst looking after DD.

DH is constantly gaming, whenever I ask him to help me, he complains and says it's his holiday etc and that I'm BU for complaining about it.

AIBU?

YANBU

@delamina

He does things with DS, but he never gets up during the night whenever DD cries.

I guess he won't if you continue too. He's a teacher for goodness sake he has to suck it up a bit. Split the week. Get him to choose the nights he's going to do it. Both your children. You're not his mum

"Helps out" frames it in a way that makes it seem like babies are your job, that he might kindly decide to help with when not otherwise engaged in important man tasks.

Fuck that noise.

Reframe it as pulling his weight. Where is your holiday? You get a holiday from a job, not from being an adult.

‘whenever I ask him to help me’ - there’s your issue, asking him to help look after and raise his own children? He should be ashamed!! You’d think he’d be grateful that he has school holidays to spend time with them!! What an arsehole.

How did get holidays off being an responsible adult and parent?

I game, only when I don't have anythibelse to do. So it can be weeks, between playing. Because it doesn't come before my family or other responsibilities.

When I get annual leave from work I am still a patent. How do we get annual leave from life?

My DH is an avid gamer, he'd never game when me and toddler DS are there. He stays up to game when we've gone to bed, or times when im out with DS doing our own thing etc.

This reminds me of my teacher colleague friend who, after every holiday, would ask me if I'd also been expected to 'babysit' my children too. I would tell him every time no, but that I had enjoyed the holiday off with my children and it had been lovely spending time with them away from work.