My husband and all my kids have asd. I'm also awaiting assessment. Older kids are all grand, do well at school, are well behaved etc. My youngest is a whole other story. I think she has pda or her demand avoidance is just horrendously strong and she's a right pickle at times. I'm the strict parent and my husband is really soft and just does whatever she wants whenever she asks and we frequently fall out about it.
I think I have a pretty good gauge at judging when she's avoiding due to anxiety or when she just cba. She also knows dad will do anything she whinges about and that if she asks me I will say no, for example she's 12, her Dad makes her breakfast and lunch (he now works from home so this is everyday) but if he wasn't here she would make her own as she knows I will not do it for her. In fact last time he wasn't here she made her and my lunch and made me a cup of tea (bless). Had her dad been here she would have probably laid on the sofa demanding he make her lunch! It's obviously a difficult situation to judge as I appreciate sometimes her anxiety genuinely makes it difficult for her to manage even basic tasks but her dad doesn't even try, he just jumps to her demands every single time and sometimes even undermines me (today he buttered her some bread when I wouldn't, I told her to leave the butter for 5 mins to soften then try).
The most annoying thing is I constantly get it in the neck from schools about her behaviour whilst dad, well he never does anything wrong in schools eyes, even though he's the one that lets her get away with murder and I'm the strict one. It's really starting to piss me off and I don't know what to do other than ltb?! I actually write. Randy email recent said I'll be a dad in my next life bec