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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To chase or not to chase?

8 replies

Bootskates · 10/08/2021 10:16

DC dad meant to have contact for the holidays, dates arranged and confirmed but no contact since. Meant to be going today, not heard anything re times etc. History of not turning up.

Do I chase? Or leave it? I used to chase but gave up about 2 years ago as it was pointless and exhausting running around making all the effort?

Holiday club cancelled so he could have them so DC stuck with me whilst I WFH.

Chase- YANBU
Leave him to it- YABU

Thanks!

OP posts:
MuddyStiletto · 10/08/2021 10:19

He is an adult, you shouldn't have to parent him
Very sad and disappointing for your children though

Original poster
Bootskates · 10/08/2021 10:24

Thanks, exactly this is why I stopped and just got on with it with or without him but I feel like I'm letting DC down by not making it happen

OP posts:
pussycatlickinglollyices · 10/08/2021 10:27

He's letting them down, not you.
As long as they're entertained and relatively happy they can be a bit bored sometimes and have access to food and drinks (and you in an emergency) then I'd leave it and carry on as you have so far.

KarmaStar · 10/08/2021 10:39

Hi,
If they know he's due,quietly chase him.
I say this because it's very hard to accept being rejected by your dad.
And because you need to work without worrying about them.
I hope he responds.
If he doesnt,and your dc are aware,give them plenty of hugs and love.💐🌈

Original poster
Bootskates · 10/08/2021 11:03

Hi thanks for the responses, yes very aware but much discussion about how dad likes a lie in Hmm so no anxiety (yet) about the possibility of him not showing...apart from mine that is

OP posts:
PJday41 · 10/08/2021 11:06

How old are the kids? Do they have their own phones?

I would send a message saying the kids are expecting you. If you are not coming can you please let them know.

EmeraldShamrock · 10/08/2021 11:06

Chase quietly this time, you need childcare he has prearranged it on their return give him a dressing down for his actions and don't make plans for him again.
Let him chase from now on.

MuddyStiletto · 10/08/2021 11:23

Chase quietly this time , then you say let him chase from now on @EmeraldShamrock ? Or have i misunderstood something?
The OP has previously reminded him several times . How many times until you say enough is enough ?
He is not a child who needs prompting . He is a father who is letting his children down
He needs to be accountable for the hurt he is causing .

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