Feeling undervalued birthday

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Ok name changed long time poster. Been together with my partner almost 13 years (married 3 months). He works 4 days a week (Wednesday off). We were discussing plans for an evening meal tomorrow and go out somewhere nice the day after, however he has reported saying he has no time to relax on his day off and his customers Thursday and Friday will suffer due to this. I just feel really undervalued, I've gone all out on his birthdays, yet when it's mine he's just upset it takes time out of his time to relax and it effect his performance at work for the rest of the shift. Just feeling really unimportant, he gone to bed now making me feel like crap and not worth it.

A very happy birthday . Sorry he is behaving like this. How does he normally treat you?
Not making excuses, but is there any work pressure or worries or is he just caught up in his gaming.
This is so awful given as you say you always make a fuss and make his day special.
Be kind to yourself and try to have a good day. Treat yourself because you deserve it.

I agree with posters who say make a fuss of yourself, and don’t do anything for his next birthday!

Customers the next day missing out is a shit excuse! He just wants to be gaming. He sounds like my exh who was apparently going to be sued for negligence if he got up one hour early so that I could have some sleep after being up the entire night with a sick baby.

Happy Birthday OP

Have a lovely time with your mum. Before you go out cut the plug off the computer he plays on and change the WiFi code.

Have fun

People treat us as badly as we let them. So give him both barrels OP. Remind him what you did for his birthday, say it needs to be reciprocated and tell him him what you expect.

If there’s any further petulance or refusal to engage, then make it clear that’s it, you expect him to treat you as he wants to be treated and vice versa. Say If he fails to make your birthday special then he’ll get nothing for his next birthday

And follow through.

He’s being pathetic. How does he think people who work straight through the week cope without a day off every two days to doss about? He has no excuse not to celebrate with you apart from being lazy as fuck. A meal out for a birthday is bare minimum in my eyes.

I would start planning a nice relaxing spa day with the girls for the day of his next birthday, and using your usual gift budget for him on something for yourself.

Happy birthday, hope you have a lovely day with your mum tomorrow.

Do something for yourself for your birthday. Don't make any effort for his next birthday.

So you’ve got to spend the evening on your birthday sitting on your own while he plays computer games? Has he got you a card, present, cake?

If you’ve been together 13 years what is he normally like?
Don’t let him ruin your day and go and have a lovely time with your Mum

Why did you marry this arse

Have you explicitly told him you feel like he doesn't make an effort for your birthday and that is something you would like and appreciate (only once a year!)?

My DH is a bit like that however when I told him I always feel a bit down as we don't seem to do much for my birthday compared to his (I give allowances as his is in August and mine is in November) he really stepped it up as he knew it was important to me.

We are at the point where we don't do birthdays and instead do a joint trip, but that's what we both agreed.

It's the lack of effort that's always upsetting, especially if you have told him beforehand.