My DP invites people around all the time without telling me. AIBU to be annoyed?

[Justcurious93]

I live with my DP of 10 years. He's very sociable as am I, however he doesn't seem to understand that I might like some notice when people are coming over. I've just rang him now to see where he was (out with family) and he informs me that people are coming over at 8. We've not had anything to eat and I was just about to have a bath, AIBU feeling annoyed?

[quote Woodmarsh]@mrsm43s she can't carry on as planned though, she wanted to slob on the sofa in her pjs watching TV. Presumably the guests will want to sit on the sofa and talk and OP may not want them to see her in her pjs[/quote]
Yes, of course she can. She carries on with her plans, and just tells DH that he'll have to host them in the kitchen (or dining room or garden or whatever other room is available) because she's slobbing out in the living room in her PJs watching TV.

Unless they live in a studio flat, when I guess you may have a point.

Mrsm43s - maybe you live in a big enough house and have quite separate lives/hobbies to your husband and therefore it wouldn't be an issue in your household.
In my house the house itself isn't big enough for random unexpected guests to turn up without it affecting the rest of the household. Also me and DH like to spend our evenings together once the kids are in bed to a regular occurrence of randomers after 8pm would not be welcome. But by contrast i wouldn't have any issue bringing over someone for lunch or coffee as husband will be working and not bothered about it.

"so" not "to"

I’d hate this too. My husband has invited people around at short notice a few time and it annoys me especially as he never considers the house tidiness or if we have anything food/drink wise to offer people

YANBU

it's both your house, it's not too much to ask for a bit more warning, or for compromising and each having nights in your own house.

@mrsm43s
I don't think that it's reasonable to feel uncomfortable, whilst in your PJs and slobbing front of the tv just because your partner invited the lads round.

If you keep wanting to invite your mates round then live on your own.
Your partner shouldn't have to suck it up and go to bed.

It's plain rude.

I’d hate this. Advance notice fine. Constant last min calls to say so so is coming back with me. Annoys me. My house is only small so I’d end up upstairs in the bedroom.

It’s his house too, and if he’s not asking you to play hostess, I would be happy for him to invite whoever he wanted.

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d continue doing whatever I’d planned.

Have you told him it bothers you?

If not, you need to do that before getting too pissed off. You're 10 years in. If the only place you've mentioned this is on a forum, you have a bigger problem with communication than you do with unexpected guests.

Where does it say he does this very regularly? And he has told her an hr in advance so there is enough notice that she doesnt start wandering around naked and unaware.

If it was all the time with lots of people i didn't know i might get annoyed. If its only once a week or that and lads id already met i wouldnt mind. If there is no food etc thats on him. They arent your guests so its not for you to worry about.
If your oh thinks house is tidy enough for his mates then they probably aren't bothered either.
Why do women place so much value on having to have house perfect for guests and see it as a poor reflection on themselves if its not?

Oops i missed the title says all the time!
It is annoying if its very often and she has explained she'd like some notice and he ignores that.
I still wonder though how much notice is required. Id hate to have no scope for spontaneity in my life or friendships

To clarify, I wasn't furious just a bit grumpy! I also only got notice as I rang to see where he was to see if he was having dinner at home so otherwise I may have had no notice.
Agreed that noone should need permission to invite people to their own house but I think it's considerate to send a quick text to let the other person know!
As for shutting myself away, of course I could have done but most of our friends are mutual now so it would have looked quite strange ? Do people really just say hi and then bugger off upstairs? Maybe it's just me but I'd think the couple had fallen out or something
Anyway I spoke to him and he apologised for not letting me know.