Teenage train travel

[Rosegoldfan]

We live in Newcastle and my daughters sisters live in Plymouth. She was due to see them next week with her Dad but he now can't go ( whole other thtead). My daughters sisters 18 and 21 theysaid they still want her to go. Dd is 13.
Their Mother has said it is fine for dd to stay.

Now they suggested the train but it is such a long way. It's 7 hours. It is direct and not through London. My dd says she will be fine. I think its too young. My parents are also saying she is too young.

I may have to drive her down but its 400 miless one way.

I am not unreasonable saying its too far at age 13?

So cross at my ex but again another thread for that.

Hmm, I’m putting my just 13yo on an inter city train for her first solo trip next week. But it’s shorter, she’s an experienced train traveller and has done this route several times with me, she’s got back up plans and experience of having to work out what to do if there’s delays or a problem that means the train is cancelled half way, and I’ll be on call and tracking her progress via app.

For your dd - how experienced is she with public transport? Has she been with you on a cancelled or delayed train and seen how to handle it? Will she keep you updated? Is she sensible about keeping track of things like her tickets and her phone?

Could the older sisters travel.up.to.stay with you instead

@DogsSausages

Could the older sisters travel.up.to.stay with you instead

No because they have booked a seaside apartment in Devon with their mum and other sister. The streets if the North east don't have the same appeal and they would have to stay with their grumpy dad.

@unlikelycombination

She isn't experienced on this route as she usually goes in the car. She gets a lift to school. She has seen delayed trains but only ever half an hour away. It wouldn't be so bad if the route was reliable.

If she's happy to and you trust her to, I'd see her onto the first train at Newcastle, stick a locator app on her phone and tell her to call you and her sisters/their mum immediately if anything happens.

I think you then need to ask her how she feels about changing trains. If she's unsure of that, I'd ask one of her sisters to meet her part way and see her onto the next train. (I know plenty of students who got lost at Reading Station aged 18-20 or so, guessing you're maybe using Reading) or there's a long wait. Could you afford to help them with a ticket cost if that's the case? I know train travel is pricey- about an hour ago we paid £183 for returns to York from KGX- excluding the cost of getting to & from KGX for the bank hol. That's my credit card under lock & key for the month!

My kids are very train savvy, they use it every day for school, mine are 13, 16 and 18.
I also used to train travel a lot as a tween and teen.

I woudl be happy for 16 and 18 to do this journey, but really not for the 13 year old.

It is just too far. I think 3 hours woudl be my max.

Could you put her on half way?

At 14 ds took it upon himself to travel to London & then get on the overnight sleeper to Penzance. Thankfully he was living with his dad then so it was his worry for letting him go. He has been obsessed with trains since he was 10, has travelled the length of the country many times, he insists on travelling first class, last week he travelled from Sheffield to London, then overnight on the Caledonian sleeper to Aberdeen, then Aberdeen to London, went to the theatre, then the night Riviera to Penzance & back to Sheffield. He is 17 now but I know that the first time he went on the night Riviera the staff kept their eye on him & looked after him. If you can afford it why not book her a single seat in first class, she will be okay there, book for a late morning train where it won't be too busy, the staff will keep their eye on her, you can track the train on the Train line app & you could track her phone by installing one of the apps.

At 13 I think she's old enough to manage independent travel, but 7 hours on a train would be testing for anyone, that's a long time to be sat in a small space and deathly boring. You can fly Newcastle to Exeter, it takes about 1.5 hours. Could she do that and they collect her at the other end?

I think she’d be fine, as long as she’s happy to do it. I would get her a first class ticket (for children first class is not much more expensive). This is what I did for my dd until she was too old. You can speak to a member of staff as she gets on the train and explain she’s travelling alone for the first time, and they will keep an eye on her and check she’s ok. She would also get free drinks and snacks in first class.

Make sure her phone is fully charged, get her to set an alarm for a few minutes before the train gets to Plymouth so that she definitely won’t miss her stop.

To put your mind at ease, railway staff are very helpful when it comes to kids getting where they need to be. My daughter missed her stop once and ended up a long way from home, I phoned the railway helpline and they made sure staff went to find her, gave her a free ticket to where she needed to be, vouchers for food and drink at the station, and made sure she got on the correct train to get back. She has ASD and I thought she’d be having a meltdown but she loved it and said it was a great adventure!

I live in Devon and we have family in Newcastle. DD1 suffers horribly from car sickness, so we usually fly from Exeter Airport - it's not terribly expensive, cheaper than the train I believe - worth looking into for your DD? You could put her on the plane in Newcastle and someone could meet her at the other end, then it's just over an hours drive from Exeter to Plymouth. It rather depends on whether your DD is a good flier or not. Less hassle and safer for a lone child than chancing all the possible variables of the train journey I would imagine.

I would say OK for a shorter journey but that cross country route really is a long one and could she cope if trains were delayed, cancelled half way etc?

Also, if she ends up on an intercity 125, they're like a Faraday cage with pretty poor mobile signal.

Sorry but I think it’s such a long journey for her to do on her own. If she needs to go to the bathroom, she might be panicked about leaving her seat and bags. Seven hours is an ordeal for anyone but too long IMHO for a novice.

I’d explore the flying option

I did a 5 hour train journey regularly at that age by myself - no phone either. My mum would put me on at one end and let the conductor know who I was, my dad would meet me at the other end. Strict instruction to find the conductor if anything (train issue, delay, etc) happened. It was fine!

Plenty old enough - and great that your DD wants to be independent and travel herself. London to Dumfries when I was 13 - change in Carlisle. No problems. And well before the days of mobile phones.

Put her on the train. Seriously, she'll be fine.

I would let her go, but as others have said let the train staff know who she is so they can help her if anything goes wrong (which it most likely wont).

And make sure she knows to ask if she needs help. Train staff are always really nice and will make sure she gets where she needs to be.

If it’s a direct train. I’d let her go at 13.

I would deliver her onto the train (possibly having a word with the train guard if I could). She needs a fully charged phone, a power bank charger/actual charger (long distance trains usually have plug sockets ime), plenty of snacks/drinks, some money. I’d probably splash out on a first class seat if I could. She’ll be fine, as long as she’s met the other end. If she knows to find staff in case of emergency and never leaves her bag unattended. I’d also put a location finder on her phone.

The UK Live Train Times app allows you to follow to progress of a particular train and at what time it stops at each station, so she will know exactly what time she’ll get to Plymouth and you’ll know exactly where the train is at any time.

Also make sure she knows she can text the British Transport Police on 61016 if there’s any trouble.

Both of my dc travel regularly on long distance trains and did so from 13, one of them on this route. He’s done it every month for years, not once has the train been cancelled or moved to a bus replacement etc. but I appreciate he’s probably just been lucky! I would let her go, with plenty of snacks and a fully charged phone with a tracker on it.

So much depends on the child.

At 13, I was very confident and adventurous and would have loved it, but my DNiece panicked at the thought of travelling from Kent to London with her mate!

How does she feel about it? I think that would be key, if she's up for it and you take all the sensible steps people have suggested upthread, she'd be fine.

It’s worth considering flights as an option but I’d allow it.

I will say in general I expect a level of independence from teens so I’m assuming she’s already using the metro/buses solo, etc.

If she is a generally sensible 13 year old and (most crucially!) happy to go by herself, I would say it would be a great experience for her. If it wasn't direct I would probably say no, but as you/your dad were considering driving her all the way, you could presumably drive part way if there was a huge issue/cancellation and collect her.