To not know what being a bridesmaid entails?

[forwardtothepast]

My best friend is getting married in just under two years. She has asked me and her sister to be bridesmaid and I am so so honoured and thrilled and have obviously said yes.

We have been so excited talking about it, the night before staying in the bridal suite with her, wedding dress shopping, planning the hen for etc. It's going to be such a fun couple of years.

However, I was thinking today, I don't really know what being a bridesmaid entails. Her sister is maid of honour but what will my duties be? Just whatever I'm asked to do? Or are there certain things I should automatically know to do without being asked?

Another thing, my daughter is going to be there, she is 8 just now but will be almost 10 when she gets married. I'm not getting a plus one as I'm single but she said if that changes then I will get a plus one. So what happens with my daughter? If I'm busy getting pictures taken etc, and busy with my duties then where is my daughter in all this? Her dad or gran will be able to collect her at nighttime but I'm just thinking during the day.

Whatever the case I'll sort it but just wondering if anyone could shed some light.

Thanks in advance.

Bump

I’ve been a bridesmaid several times and duties often include:

• Going with her to try on dresses
• Wearing a bridesmaid dress (check whether she wants you to wear something specific or if she just wants a certain colour or style. You might also want to check who is paying for the dress- traditionally it’s the bride but I’ve been in a couple of weddings where I’ve been asked to buy my own dress. Also, check what accessories she wants you to wear and who is paying for them).
• Organising a hen party
• Attending the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner (if they have one)
• Getting ready with the bride on the morning of the wedding (check whether she will expect you to pay for hair and makeup).
• Doing a reading during the ceremony or doing a speech later in the evening.
• Having some photos taken after the ceremony.

Some brides also want:

• Bridal shower
• Afternoon tea/cocktails after dress fittings
• Shopping trips to choose accessories or wedding bits
• Help with making decorations or setting up at the wedding.

I’d recommend having a really honest conversation with her right at the beginning about what she wants/expects and what you are able to do (if she’s expecting a 10day hen party in Tenerife and you have a budget of £50 and childcare issues then it’s probably better to have that discussion now).

Ultimately you’re obviously one of her closest friends so she’ll probably be willing to work out a way to make sure that it works for you. (When I got married some of my bridesmaids weren’t able to do any of the things I suggested above due to having young babies/health conditions/financial issues. I was just delighted that they were there to celebrate with me and I honestly didn’t care if I had a hen party or if everyone wore matching dresses).

Photos of the bridal party usually only take 10 minutes or so. If your daughter is 9 or 10 then she’ll probably be able to sit to one side for a few minutes whilst you have them done (maybe bring a book or small activity that she can do whilst you’re busy).

You need to speak to her and ask as it varies to much depending on the wedding/ bride

If you’re daughter is invited you would be responsible for her. Usually there would be a photographer so I wouldn’t expect you to take photos

All my bride wanted was;
Dress shopping
Planning hen do
Stay with her night before

On the day, I helped her to the toilet with her dress, I offered.

Some brides want more some want even less!

Regarding your daughter she can stand close by whilst your photos done don't worry. Or is there's other kids and she's happy to play around with them just mention to one of their parents to keep an eye whilst your getting pics done. It doesn't take more than 10 mins.

Depends on the bride. I just needed mine to pick a dress and have fittings, invited them to the hen do meal and booked the hairdresser for the morning of the event.
Some expect the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses and everything else needed, to sort the hen (often a weekend or week), assist with the planning for months etc.

I mostly needed my bridesmaid to hold stuff for me and corral my page boys .