To be lonely and bored on a Sunday morning

[MiddleOfThePack]

Been up since 7am with the dogs. Can't do any housework yet as no-one else is up [I have 4 other adults/kidults in the house] - it's now 1030. I'm feeling lonely and bored. I've done some hoovering and got a load in the dishwasher. Done some online shopping and walked the puppy [older dog doesn't get a walk first thing as puppy is quite lively until later on].

Washed down the kitchen surfaces and done some family admin. Now I just want to go upstairs with a pan lid and WAKE EVERYONE UP

Would that be unreasonable?

@MiddleOfThePack, you've had a few harsh comments on here, and I think it's probably because some people would absolutely LOVE some peace and quiet and time to themselves.

For you, I don't think it's about being lonely necessarily. I think you're fed up with being treated like the lowest priority, and you'd like your family to actually choose to spend some time with you.

What happens if you plan something for you all to do together? Will they get up earlier and be with you then?

A quiet word with your partner about how you're feeling low, a little neglected and that you'd like to feel wanted wouldn't go amiss either.

@Lotsachocolateplease

I kind of get what you’re saying, I felt like this yesterday, did loads of washing and ironing and baked, but it feels lonely knowing there’s others in the house (teens/young adults) who just want to sleep or play on consoles. I took myself off for a walk about 3pm and bumped into my neighbour and we had a lovely chat! It really lifted my mood!!

I get this. Yes, it is a particular kind of loneliness with teens. Generally involves a lot of hanging about in case they need you.

Well done for chatting to someone else!

Honestly, it's nothing more irritating that people waiting around for you, and fretting because you are in bed and they need to be entertained.

The chores? Of course must be divided, but (dogs aside) can be done at the time chosen by whoever does them as long as they are done.

So lay in bed like they are.

Make a rota for chores and dog walking.

I'm on my own this morning. DP went in his stag do last night and stayed out, DS at his dad's. I was up at 7:15am having not fallen asleep until 3:30am and despite the rain I threw on my running kit and went out. Had a shower and a cup of tea and just curled up on the sofa. I've pottered a bit, done some washing, that's about it. Bit bored of the silence now though.

Assign everyone regular chores that they need to do each weekend, but can choose when they do them. Don’t do everything yourself as that’s just martyring yourself.

But relax in this time! Read, watch telly, whatever you want. Go out. Don’t wait for them to enjoy your day but equally don’t wake people up. They may need their sleep, and not everyone is an early bird, especially teens.

If you rely on others to entertain you, you are making yourself a burden instead of someone they enjoy spending time with.

I would avoid DH like the plague if he was clingy or too bored to distract himself.

You are free! You can book anything, arrange to do anything, you are not responsible or expected by your household. It's bliss. You can meet friends, have lunch with them, join a sports club/hobby, go for the day, read on the sofa with a cup of tea.

What else can you want!

What do you enjoy doing? Do some of that. If you need other people there to do anything enjoyable, then that's a problem you should address. Do something for yourself.

Why are you being a martyr about the housework and family admin? Stop letting the others off the hook. Assign them tasks and leave stuff for them to do. Stop being the housework fairy.

If my lot are still in bed I use the time to do my own thing and then if stuff needs doing we do it when we are all up and about. I love the time when everyone is still in bed and I'm up alone with my coffee 😁

I'm certainly very 'free'. I just want to get on with things, while everyone else wants to just lie in bed. I did however, end up doing the same but at the other end of the day iyswim. I went for a run when DH came downstairs [at 1130]; then had lunch and dragged him and the dogs out for a long walk [yes we got wet and had to take shelter in the cafe toilet in the park when a thunderstorm blew over!].

We were both shattered [why he's tired I don't know, having slept half the day?]. I went upstairs and had a lie down for half an hour; then had a half hour bath. Now I'm waiting for him to do dinner [he promised over an hour ago, so here I am again, waiting for some action!

Ho hum...time to put the oven on I think!

See that whole ' What have you got to be tired about? You've slept half the day.' Would really, really piss me off. You're not his mother! He's tired, so what? If I'm tired, I'm tired, I don't expect my husband to make me feel like shit for it: thankfully he wouldn't dream of it, he makes me tea and tells me to sit in my hammock/ cosy sofa and read my book/ nap. You sound really, really annoying.

We all have busy lives. If your DH works all week he'll probably be tired. Let it bloody go.

here I am again, waiting for some action!
Create your own action.

I deliberately get up really early so I can have the house to myself for a few hours,
So a 6am alarm- even on a Sunday.
I don't rely on other people for entertainment- I am self sufficient.
Sometimes we do things but often family member like to relax.
Suits me fine, I always have dozens of activities and projects up my sleeve.
My OH is tired afer a week away with work and had to pop into the office this afternoon.
So far today I have done 45 minutes of yoga, a 15 minute meditation. Washed and styled my hair, started decorating my broom for Autumn, painted a garden statue, crafted for 2 hours ( paid work) painted my nails, given myself a facial, watched a movie, tidied out some clothes, visited the recycling centre, did a small amount of cooking (OH did all the shopping and prep, and cleared away afterwards).
A fairly typical day, although usually I work more.

@Puffalicious

See that whole ' What have you got to be tired about? You've slept half the day.' Would really, really piss me off. You're not his mother! He's tired, so what? If I'm tired, I'm tired, I don't expect my husband to make me feel like shit for it: thankfully he wouldn't dream of it, he makes me tea and tells me to sit in my hammock/ cosy sofa and read my book/ nap. You sound really, really annoying.

We all have busy lives. If your DH works all week he'll probably be tired. Let it bloody go.

Have to agree with this !!

Surely many people on a parenting website have been up since before 5 with their toddler or up all night with their puppy. You have just described almost complete freedom for hours! You could make the most of it or just sit and watch crap telly uninterrupted. Or go back to bed. Or have a cup of tea. There will be incredibly sleep deprived exhausted mums reading this website!

Can you explain what exactly you want ?

Enjoy the peace!

Last Christmas i woke up at 6:30. Got up. Had coffee, toast, sorted the presents, DH came through, had coffee. We washed and dressed, by 11am I was bored and woke the kids up! I feel for you.

But still, enjoy it

My mum would start cleaning whenever she wanted when I was growing up, it was her house why did she have to wait for me to sleep off a hangover before she got the hoover out? Start cleaning if that’s what you want to do. Personally I’d enjoy a box set or a book!

Why are you doing all the chores?

If my DH and DCs lazed in bed while I was up, I’d run a long bath, make my own leisurely breakfast and watch what I wanted on TV or read or cross stitch - then you all do the chores when you’re all up. By all means take the dog for a walk, but don’t do anything else while they’re all in bed!