Buy a house up north or flat in London?

[oneminuteplease]

Not really aibu, posting for traffic.

Can only afford shared ownership on our salary. (Sahm for Atleast another 3 years)

It's either buy a share in a house, in either Warrington/Prestwich/South Manchester

Or buy share/rent to buy in W London,(where we currently live) the flat would be a 3 bed aswell

Or carry on renting our house in west London until I start work again and we can get a better mortgage deal?

2 toddlers!

Which would be the best decision?

Dh thinks buying a house whereas I'd be quite happy in an apartment but he's worried about the cost here in London!

Can you relocate to the north easily? Do you know people there?

@JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome

Can you relocate to the north easily? Do you know people there?

We both have family in the 3 places and I grew up in Manchester. And my career I can do anywhere, DH would get a transfer to the Manchester office.

I'm just thinking where my children would be more thankful to grow up in! That's my main priority

It depends on jobs/future job prospects and family/friends/support network.

I'd stay in London, but then that's where my job is, all my family and most of my friends.

I moved back to Scotland after living in London for as long time and I have had regrets regarding friends and career. There’s just not the same scope to branch out in new directions. I think that would apply to your kids as well as you.

However I am about to be mortgage free at 46, and I did meet my STBXH, we managed ten years and it was a worthwhile marriage. I’m really not sure I would have met anyone in London, I’d have just really focussed on my career and never made time.

So on that basis if family time and stability are more important to you that career and socialising, move North.

But maybe do some visits first- like a fortnight in an air bnb or something. Live your everyday life rather than having a holiday.

Curious why your kids being thankful comes into it...you are the adults you decide what you prefer.

Or is this something from your childhood you don't feel thankful for or resent your parent's choices?
Dud you resent the choice your parents made?
Do you wish they did something different?
What do you want for your children?

I don't think small children care so long as you there for them

House flat whatever..if you have time for them feed clothe them...make the choices that suit you as parents

If you can work anywhere and prefer to be near family
Go for where salary will go further

I would go north, I think economically we are in for a few tough years so better to future proof.

'Curious why your kids being thankful comes into it...you are the adults you decide what you prefer'

Some people like their kids and want to do what's best for them? I think most people take what would be best for the children into consideration when moving house (e.g. looking at schools etc.) or making any big life decisions.

I'm just thinking where my children would be more thankful to grow up in! That's my main priority

Depends what sort of kids they are really, but I'd hazzard a guess that there's a whole lot more interesting things going on in London for kids than in Warrington.

Yes of course.
You make best decisions for you and dc.

But the concept of them being "thankful" ... they won't look back and be ungrateful or wish it had been London vs Manchester or North so long as they have nice childhood. Wherever it is. House or flat.

Take whatever decisions work for you.

Weigh up pros and cons.
If you are happy your dc will be.

Teenagers may be more grumpy ...and want to leave,at 18 to big city....but plenty in any city for younger children or countryside lifestyle if parents happy.

Are you saying the cost is the same of a share of a three bed house in Manchester or a three bed flat in West London?

I'd have thought the flat would be much, much more, what area of London is it?

@Embracelife

Teenagers may be more grumpy ...and want to leave,at 18 to big city....but plenty in any city for younger children or countryside lifestyle if parents happy.

But she's not talking about moving to the countryside, she's talking about moving to another large city, with large city amenities.

Plus if her DC grow up in London, she's trying them to a lifetime of struggling with housing costs if they want to stay in the city they grew up in, unless they end up being very high earners.

Personally I’d go for the family nearby plus garden without hesitation. I’m also confused by the equivalent cost!

I would say being closer to family is a good option to move for. Your kids will appreciate having closer relationships with grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins. While they are young it's a good time to move so they can make their friendships in schools etc. So leave before they know any different. I think moving is a good option.

Or you could move north of London enough to get a cheaper house but not be too far away from London.

It all depends how close you are with friends and family. Are you a social person. Would you be able to set up a new life with a support system.

I've recently moved a hour away from my family, I'm not close to them and they still see me on occasions. My kids are happier, they have started a new school (ages 7 and 5) and have made a good group of friends. I'm not very social anyways so the change hasn't bothered me at all. This is my partners home town so we have his parents for support if needed (occasionally)

I’m very confused about the equivalent cost

Need to understand cost here. I'd say house. Manchester just as good as London but then I'm biased. Will your dh still get same salary?

South Manchester hands down!
Didsbury, Chorlton, Withington, Whalley Range etc, are all amazing places for kids. Very diverse, loads of gorgeous parks, 20 minute commute into the city centre, great transport links for the M60, Salford, Trafford, great metro links, buses and trains.
Trafford Centre, Chill Factore, Lake District, Sale/Chorlton water parks, Peak District all very accessible.
I would never move now, and couldn't imagine living in London if you paid me.

Most big towns and cities have plenty for kids. I'd hazard a guess that most families who live in London don't spend every weekend going to exhibitions or special London-specific events - they do stuff like swimming, cinema, all the kind of things you get everywhere.

Personally, I think having a much more spacious home. disposable income and being near family is worth doing with kids on the scene. I doubt kids care whether they are in London or Manchester or any other town or city.

Did you post about this the other day? If not there was someone else in the same predicament. Seems a no brainer to me - why would you pay london prices when you have connections in Manchester?

Crikey why would you live in London unless your family live there?
Manchester is a large city with all the city facilities plus easy access to the countryside. Then on top of that the price for say a three bedroom semi with a garden is about a third of that in London. You would have to earn a considerable wage to fund that.

I grew up just outside London and now live in Prestwich. Have never regretted the move.

For me?

London.

London.

London.

I would live in a bed sit before moving up north.

But that’s me!

Manchester every time for me. Great city, but not as busy as London. Plenty of jobs, good clean transport links, countryside close by. Far better housing options and a lot cheaper.

If you could find a way of staying in London, why wouldn't you?

I know quite a few people who managed to swing internships and other useful things through being able to travel from their parents' home in London. Most young people are priced out of work experience in London unless they have a relative there.

There are also all of the museums and galleries, which are great educational experiences when they're growing up. Not to mention the theatres.

When your kids are old enough and mature enough to get around by themselves, they can jump on the tube. They won't be stuck out in the countryside with no social life unless they drive, or unless you're happy to taxi them around everywhere. They'll be able to learn independence easier.

There's also the racism point. Ethnicity is not a big deal in London. If you're non-white, it's so refreshing not to get stared at and overhear mean comments. If you are white, it's great to expose your kids to different ethnicities from a young age, so they grow up thinking it's perfectly normal (because it is) for people to look different. Raising children around people who don't all look identical to them is the best way to make sure they don't grow up to be massive racists.

People always talk about moving out of London to raise kids - well, there are plenty of schools in London. There must be kids being raised there...

Personally, I think this is a wonderful, culturally-rich city with loads of opportunities to grow and develop.