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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Self Catering "holidays"

125 replies

Nohomemadecandles · 07/08/2021 19:42

Self Catering Holidays are Hard Work...

I just want a self indulgent whinge really. I'm sure it makes me entitled and I know lots of people are worse off but...

Self catering is not a holiday. It's just wife work in a different house!

One of us is always cooking, washing up, planning what to cook/eat, making beds, moving glasses, taking out the rubbish...

We're lucky (I know, very lucky) to have access to a family home on the south coast. We've been here three weeks. We've had various family members join us who also need feeding and clearing up after.

I'm shattered! I want my own bed and a week in a hotel abroad!

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2021 08:36

Issue is your relatives have just been to a hotel as you did it all. You needed a rota or something. I wouldn’t go away with these adults again.

mellongoose · 08/08/2021 08:38

Self catering is supposed to be cheaper because you provide your own food. I'm not sure it is this year. Some self catering in Cornwall is going for £5k a week!!!! People seem willing to pay it though!

I think when the children are small, meals are still time sensitive to an extent. There is no lazy afternoon reading/cocktail sipping as mentioned by PP 🤣

user1487194234 · 08/08/2021 08:39

I prefer them as you get more room and get a washing machine
We never actually cater though
Eat out every evening
Lunch too although often a picnic
Breakfast is help yourself to juice toast cereal fruit
And we always finish up with 2/3days in a hotel
But if you don't enjoy it don't do it

saraclara · 08/08/2021 08:42

Agree that you're generalising about self catering, when your problem is with this being a family home that you're staying in, and other peope joining you.

Your not on a self catering holiday, you've borrowed someone's house and you're having to feed and entertain visitors. That's not 99.9% of people's sc holiday.

Sgtmajormummy · 08/08/2021 08:42

For a start, whoever owns the property shouldn’t leave out plates and glasses that don’t go in the dishwasher! And invest in a bigger or second fridge.

Then I’d make it a more collaborative holiday. Playing hosts several times in 3 weeks must be exhausting. And organise a cleaning/ linen service. I’ll tell you why.
We inherited my IL’s place in a very nice part of the country and decided to keep it for holidays. As we went there sporadically we didn’t get a management service and I ended up spending half a day on arrival and departure cleaning and setting up the place. With with help from the family of course. Plus it was too far away to spend the weekend so we felt duty bound to spend all the holidays there.

We all started to resent the place and how much it was hampering us so we sold it after 2 years and bought a serviced timeshare which we love!

MostlyNormalSometimesOdd · 08/08/2021 08:49

YANBU.
We also have access to a family holiday home in a stunning but very very remote village in the Scottish Highlands. The village shop is basic so we need to take food for meals, which I have to first shop for, then pack, then cook once we're on holiday. We'll eat out once while we're there, but there's only one pub within 30 miles and it's not cheap for a family of four. I make all the picnics, drive there and back ( 4 1/2 hours each way), and for any day trips, and clean the place top to bottom for the next family member to use it (the only house rule for this property).
It's all slightly easier now the kids are older and the village has a 4G signal so I'm not entertainments officer too, but I do find it exhausting

Neverrains · 08/08/2021 08:54

What I really don’t understand is why people are doing all the work without making the rest of the family pitch in. Being a martyr doesn’t help anyone! No way would I do all the cooking and cleaning on holiday, it’s my holiday too.

CounsellorTroi · 08/08/2021 09:06

We love cottage holidays. As pp have said we eat very simple meals or ready meals. Good quality fresh pizzas, filled pastas and sauces, quiches/cold meats and salad and we always have cheeses, oatcakes, olives, hummus etc in for an “indoor picnic”. We do eat out but sometimes it’s nice to have the option of something more simple at home.

Alleycat1 · 08/08/2021 09:25

I couldn't agree more, OP. A self-catering holiday is usually no holiday at all for the wife/mother. It is just the usual domestic chores in a different setting. Unfortunately, for a lot of people it is a financial reality that this is what they can afford. Also, it can be stressful in a hotel if you have young children, especially at mealtimes. When I lived in USA a lot of parents sent their children off to 'Camp' for a couple of weeks and had a holiday themselves during that time. Most children loved camp and parents had a chance to relax and recharge their batteries.

Nohomemadecandles · 08/08/2021 10:31

I feel better after a moan. DH is fab - anyone who said it was his fault. It's not.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 08/08/2021 13:35

But you are not on holiday. You are just in a different house.

You are working.
Supervising building repairs.
Entertaining and hosting family.

None of those things happen on a holiday.

Nohomemadecandles · 10/08/2021 20:29

@Alleycat1

I couldn't agree more, OP. A self-catering holiday is usually no holiday at all for the wife/mother. It is just the usual domestic chores in a different setting. Unfortunately, for a lot of people it is a financial reality that this is what they can afford. Also, it can be stressful in a hotel if you have young children, especially at mealtimes. When I lived in USA a lot of parents sent their children off to 'Camp' for a couple of weeks and had a holiday themselves during that time. Most children loved camp and parents had a chance to relax and recharge their batteries.
Why don't we do Camp here? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyhow I'm home. Dh ordered a takeaway for us and I'm having a cold beer and reflecting that we've actually had a really nice time but I'm not having successive guests ever again. And I'm never opening a B&B Grin

OP posts:
gogohm · 10/08/2021 22:04

It's why I book hotels or eat out a minimum of dinner and ideally all 3 meals! (I'll make bacon sandwiches or pastries if overseas and make sandwiches for hiking)

gogohm · 10/08/2021 22:08

@Alleycat1
@Nohomemadecandles

American school holidays are really long, mid June until early September in WA and parents get 2 weeks annual leave per year typically. The American camp industry was built on the back of that but most are run by religious groups etc especially the affordable ones. My DD's went once but hated it because of the spiders

CanICelebrate · 10/08/2021 22:27

Yanbu

We are having our first SC holiday for years this summer and although it’s a lovely place, I am dreading cooking and washing up.
I prefer a holiday where I don’t do chores that I’d be doing at home.

Peace43 · 10/08/2021 22:32

Always self cater, generally in our caravan - no dishwasher! Much prefer my cooking.

phishy · 10/08/2021 22:40

Why do these lazy family members turn up expecting to be fed?

BiddyPop · 10/08/2021 22:47

SC holidays in a family home (whether a holiday home or visiting the everyday home of other family members) is a different holiday even to other SC hols.

I hope the takeaway and beer were good but for future plans:

Agree re booking a supermarket delivery or else make sure you bring a good list to run in quickly or bring the essentials in the car. Also, if a holiday home - invest in good sealed glass or plastic canisters to be able to keep supplies of things like tea bags, sugar, rice, pasta, flour, cereals etc. and keep a good range of good tins and jars so that you know there will be the basics there without doing shopping. (I don't include coffee as we prefer ground and that does need to be fresh).

We usually bring lots of nice foods that signify holidays to us - posh crisps, good biscuits, items from local deli or M&S to nibble on, hummus (and carrots to make stick for dipping - sometimes I even buy them pre-cut as after all, I'm on holiday...). Lots of fizzy water and nice cordials, as well as plenty of beer, wine, gin. And things to easily make picnics, and Jusrol croissants for breakfasts.

Younger people are given suitable jobs - setting tables, emptying or restacking dishwasher, carrying things to/from table etc. Older people who should be helpful,might be given more useful jobs like entertain smallies, make a whole meal (their speciality - pander to them and they will eagerly get stuck in), or set up different areas to allow a few people work together preparing meals etc.

On that note, make sure you have some decent tools and enough to be able to have 2 or 3 people working together so maybe a couple of chopping boards, sharp knives, decent veg peelers, etc, plenty of spoons to mix things in bowls or stir pots.

For cooking, think easy meals, like throw some marinade on fish or chicken in the fridge in the morning to throw in the bbq in the evening, buy in salads, or do veggies in tinfoil parcels on bbq alongside the meat/fish. If you have a box of decent ziploc sandwich/food bags alongside your tinfoil in stores, it's really handy to prep things in the morning while breakfast cooks or you wait for some one else to get organised before you go out, and then you just cook them with no prep in the evening. And you then get to hang out with DH and everyone else outside enjoying a beer while bbqing. Buy in salads and crusty bread some nights. Prep enough veggies etc for 2 nights and take an easier night the 2nd one. (Or have some good Tupperware type containers for this pre-preparation purposes, and for leftovers).

Do 1 tray dinners in the oven, make use of things like oven chips or baked potatoes, or use a timer to set things cooking and leave it get on while you relax.

And while you might make spag Bol or chilli from scratch at home - have a few shortcuts for holidays like packets of seasoning or good jars of sauce.

BiddyPop · 10/08/2021 22:58

Oh, and try to have enough spare bedding and towels that if you have to change them between guests, you change them and quickly do bathrooms, bins and floors - but don't need to wash immediately (stick a load on as you go out somewhere nice and throw them in tumble dryer/on line outdoors later...and try to only need to do 1 load a day, so that all are clean and dry before the next changeover day happens).

converseandjeans · 10/08/2021 22:58

YANBU but I think the issue is that you ended up hosting and you need to get takeaway or eat out if you have people there.

When you go to the same place all the time it starts to feel like home rather than a holiday.

jackstini · 10/08/2021 23:11

@Nohomemadecandles - we do do camp here - PGL!

I would do a couple of eat out nights where you get a taxi if nothing in walking distance / totally worth it

It might just be this particular place is getting jaded as you have been so much? Feels more like a second home than a holiday...

Glad you both agree it was still a good break Smile

stripedbananas · 10/08/2021 23:12

I hate SC holidays. They never feel like real holidays and you're just with the same people you spend all your time with at home, who I love but I prefer different types of holidays where my room is cleaned and other people prepare my food and where we meet new people and have new experiences

Suzi888 · 10/08/2021 23:15

I use it as an excuse to eat out.

Antsinyourpanta · 10/08/2021 23:38

I prefer sc to hotels.
I do far less laundry or housework. There is less "stuff" to clear up like kids toys etc. DH does more cooking and we eat out a few times.

I find it more relaxing than having set meal times or needing to be out of the room for it to be cleaned.

Shodan · 10/08/2021 23:51

I think it depends on the type of holiday.

Family holiday - self catering all the way. More space, room for everyone to have a bedroom of their own. A mix of takeaway, oven pizzas or similar, and meals out (apart from breakfast).

Weekends away with partner or holidays with friends- decent hotel with breakfast, but not dinner. I'd always rather have the choice of eating out.

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