To think might be the menopause?

[BluebellsareBlue]

So I'm 46 on the 26th of this month, regular as clockwork period but lasting slightly longer than the usual 5 days and having residual bleeding for perhaps 7.

I have been working from home for 18 months nearly so haven't been driving much and to be honest I put it down to this but..

Today I was to drive my 17 yo and his 15 yo pal 1.5 hours away at 0630 this morning to go fishing for the Scottish National team they are both in, I had said to my son (who's at the junior soldiers college in Harrogate so hasn't seen what I'm about to describe for himself and thought I was trying to get out of driving him)

Picked up the pal no probs and got onto the dual carriageway, then it all went to shit! I cannot begin to explain what happened to me but I ended up with my hazards on driving at 40mph for miles until I could find a lay-by, the panic in me was something I have never experienced and I have no idea what happened. Previously driving in town I'd find myself trying to break to a standstill, clutch depressed for no reason but panic overtaking me.

Today I could have killed us. I am devastated! I had to drive on as there was no place to turn around and I eventually got them there, apologising profusely and trying not to cry, with my son saying stop shaking what is wrong with you?

It took me 4 hours to get home, driving 40 on the back roads avoiding the motorway and dual carriageway at all costs, I have never experienced anything like this! I am devastated, I NEED to drive for the dog, for the salon I own, for my son, for me.

I feel I never want to get in the car again and drove absolutely terrified all the way home.

I called my friend and she suggested it may be menopause related, could it be? The only strange thing that's happened to me that I have noticed is if I'm cleaning, hoovering say, the sweat is pouring off me actually dripping off my nose. I'm over weight but not massively so, I'm a size 14, but this has only come on over the last year, always been a 10 /12 and put it down to lockdown. I walk at least 5k a day with the dog, help me! Will I be able to drive again? At the moment I feel that I can't

I developed a driving phobia- which manifested much like what you're describing - in my early thirties. Looking back it was basically a side-effect of creeping, unrecognised anxiety and depression, so it's entirely possible yours could be menopause related.

The good news is I was able to get over it completely at the time through a combination of dealing with the depression and hypnotic relaxation (including sessions designed to deal with panic attacks). It wasn't overnight, but please don't think this isn't something you can overcome.

Severe anxiety is a symptom of menopause

While it could be related to menopause, how much driving experience did you have before lockdown or during lockdown? Did you ever feel like a “nervous” driver before lockdown, but just got on with it, i.e. you might classify yourself as someone who didn’t “like” or was uncomfortable on dual carriage ways. I seem to know at least a few people who were slightly anxious about various things, and then lockdown turned those things into full blown phobias or severe anxieties.

I can't even cope as a passenger in less than perfect driving conditions these days.. definitely peri menopause related 😒

@RightYesButNo

While it could be related to menopause, how much driving experience did you have before lockdown or during lockdown? Did you ever feel like a “nervous” driver before lockdown, but just got on with it, i.e. you might classify yourself as someone who didn’t “like” or was uncomfortable on dual carriage ways. I seem to know at least a few people who were slightly anxious about various things, and then lockdown turned those things into full blown phobias or severe anxieties.

I see what you are saying but I'm a retired police officer with accredited advanced driving. I've driven since I was 19, pursuits, commutingand in the police I basically drove for a living if you see what I mean

@Truthlikeness

I developed a driving phobia- which manifested much like what you're describing - in my early thirties. Looking back it was basically a side-effect of creeping, unrecognised anxiety and depression, so it's entirely possible yours could be menopause related.

The good news is I was able to get over it completely at the time through a combination of dealing with the depression and hypnotic relaxation (including sessions designed to deal with panic attacks). It wasn't overnight, but please don't think this isn't something you can overcome.

Thank you so so much, this feeling at the moment feels insurmountable

@Truthlikeness

I developed a driving phobia- which manifested much like what you're describing - in my early thirties. Looking back it was basically a side-effect of creeping, unrecognised anxiety and depression, so it's entirely possible yours could be menopause related.

The good news is I was able to get over it completely at the time through a combination of dealing with the depression and hypnotic relaxation (including sessions designed to deal with panic attacks). It wasn't overnight, but please don't think this isn't something you can overcome.

How long did it take? I'm Now downing beer like it's non-ones business with DH saying I need to go to the docs but will be fine! I'm so embarrassed and upset that I put those boys in danger!!!DH says if hypno works he'll pay for it, was it through the nhs?

A friend that has always struggled with anxiety said her peri anxiety was a completely different kettle of fish and it vanished pretty quick when she started on HRT.

🤷🏽‍♀️

@RandomMess I'm making a docs app Monday x

Yes it sounds very like the menopause. I'm going through it and the first symptom was feeling like I was losing my mind! I would drop things like mugs and glasses, literally forget what I was talking about mid-sentence and struggle to follow a simple conversation, I also lost all belief in myself.

I didn't go to the gp until I started having hot flushes and even then I never considered menopause because I was only thirty. Everyone talks about hot flushes etc when you mention menopause but it really does have such an impact of memory, concentration and self confidence.

I was angry, trigger happy, hot, cold, anxious, tearful, etc. Got hrt at c 43. Got me back pretty much straightaway. My teenage son recommended it to all his friends mum's as they hit that age

Mums

Yes it could. I had a heavy period when I was 46, no missed periods or anything. That was the last one I ever had. I’d had no symptoms until then. Then all the symptoms came crashing down - crippling anxiety, aching bones, hot flushes etc. It’s like I skipped the peri stage. I had a panic attack while driving. Out of nowhere, I thought I was having a heart attack, the pain was terrible and my heart was racing.

It’s been 4 years now. Most symptoms have subsided except the hot flushes . I still have anxiety but not to the extent I did. I don’t take anything but it’s worth a visit to the GP. Most are unhelpful bot you may be lucky!

I used a panic attack course from this company www.hypnosisdownloads.com I listened to it very regularly and gradually (I guess over weeks/months) the panic completely subsided. It was crucial to keep driving though. I also used EFT tapping in the car - scientifically it's a crock of xxxx, but it distracted me from the panic feelings and helped calm me down.

On slightly less positive note - I developed it again a few years later (again depression related) and because I didn't need to drive, I never quite cracked it on the head the second time. I think I would be fine to drive now (I've been depression free for about 10 years) but I have no need for a car and haven't owned one in that time.

So - I do think it is also crucial to also deal with the underlying cause - quite possible menopause in your case. I'm also 46 now, so probably also have this to look forward to .

Yes, I had this a few years ago at around age 50. I have been taking a low dose of anti-anxiety medication ever since – sertraline – and the difference it made, pretty quickly, has been immense. My GP didn’t test me for perimenopause, but said because of my age it was probably the underlying factor. It’s so difficult to explain how you feel, and so difficult for others to understand. Sometimes I still get brain fog, and I can’t remember what was said to me the day before. I used to get really tearful, and couldn’t even tell you why I was crying. I used to panic about getting into the car and picking up my DC from school. The sertraline certainly has helped me feel ‘normal’ again.

Yea, the driving thing was a part of the menopause.

It came and went.

Nighttime affected me most, particularly on a country road.
Fortunately that was rare.

If I was 10 years younger and starting out I would go on HRT in a heartbeat and not suffer the years I did with the many random side effects.

Didn't want to read and run but have a Google for Anna Mathur driving anxiety

I've had mild anxiety since my teens.
It's a million times worse since I started menopause.
I feel for you. It's horrible

@BluebellsareBlue Right, that’s the reason I asked. Unfortunately, every single person who is going through or has gone through menopause on MN could tell you that it’s common with menopause or it happened to them, and your doctor could STILL be dismissive. It’s crap, but it happens more than it should. Fortunately, by highlighting how you were before, your complete lack of driving anxiety or issues beforeo highlights the stark and sudden difference and hopefully your doctor will thus take your menopause concerns more seriously, or consider other possibly chemical deficiencies as well.

I have the same professional background as you. Peri menopause has made me anxious about things that never worried me before. I still drive, but cannot reverse the car in a straight line at all! It is disastrous if I have to manoeuvre out of someone's way! Bloody hormones ( or lack of them).

I had issues with driving when peri. I tried wild orange oil on my temples as recommended by somebody. Amazingly it worked!

yes yes and yes!

The same happened to me at exactly the same age. I used to drive a lot, commute 2 hours plus and 1 day a week had to get on the motorway. I love driving, usually on the fast side, and have always been a very confident driver.

All of a sudden, I experienced exactly what you did out of the blue. I would find myself feeling like I'd loss the sense of awareness, as if just keeping the car straight was a challenge. My driving was thankfully absolutely fine, but my awareness of it wasn't. Twice I ended up with a massive panic attack once I arrived to my destination. I had to stop driving for some time after that.

What I noticed too was that it wasn't just me driving. I had my worse panic attack when going on a trip when my OH was driving. It also happened on train trips. It was so bad, with balance issues, feeling of dizziness, that I beg my GP for a head MRI.

Someone mentioned then that it was anxiety and I laughed out loud because I am not an anxious person by nature. 4 years later, I definitely know that's what it was. Once I recognised it for what it was, it got a lot better as I could just calm myself. It got much better once the full menopause hit me, but to be fair, i haven't done a long journey since the last time, 3 years ago, 5 hours plus on the motorway and it was a struggle. I think I'd be ok now, but of course, I won't know until I try it.

I wish someone had posted that same post then as it would have helped me so much with reassurance. How a change in hormones can affect some women so severely is incredible, but hey ho, that's that! HRT helps a lot of women with anxiety. It didn't for me at all, made me even worse, but it's definitely worth a try.