To ask for your advice for curly haired daughter

[Barnybrown]

My 5 year old has beautiful curly hair - the bottom curls in ringlets that sit just below her shoulders. The top can be quite frizzy and I struggle with the best products, accessories and styles (plaits etc) . Do any parents of curly haired little ones out there have any tips to share ? Thank you for any help !

Not to derail a helpful thread but you didn't get a cold from wet hair. That's not how viruses work. Colds are a similar virus to covid and are transmitted in the same way. I don't ever dry DD's hair even in winter. If you do dry it's advised to use a diffuser

If I need to I’ll dry mine with a diffuser, but leave it slightly damp. I’d never completely dry it.

Out of interest, what difference does it make using an old t shirt to dry ? I get the not rubbing with a towel, but is blotting with one different to a t shirt?

What kind of comb do you recommend for daily detangling? DD's hair is thick, nearly waist length & I think it's about 3a ish. DH keeps dry brushing it though, or just squirting one or two quick sprays of water on, which isn't enough, it repels water more efficiently than seal fur. I'm going to have to hide the brush. She usually washes it twice a week at most but it gets tangled.

Currently transitioning to curly after always wearing it straight. Using Cantu conditioning co-wash or As I Am coconut co-wash, a homemade floral water, aloe vera & argan oil spray for wash day, & Boots curl creme.

She's 9 & has ASD, & struggling to manage her own hair, we did try it short for a while but it was even more massive & she still wouldn't do anything with it. At least this way it can be plaited. I can't do it every day as I'm ill & sometimes stuck in bed, so it needs to be something that's not more difficult than dry brushing the tangles out. Finger combing is right out, DH wouldn't do it.

I tried the Facebook curly girl group but they just say to try the curly girl kids group, which has been closed for ages.

Covering hair with a bonnet and either loosely plaiting before bed or at least pineapple (loose bun on top of head) should help with the frizz and knots that develop overnight.

You’ll need to experiment as curl textures are all different, and it might help to identify curl type and look on you tube or blog for people with similar hair.

We use a fine water spray from a hairdressing shop in the morning and then a leave in conditioner and detangling brush. The hair can be left out or braided or put into ponytails. If plaited it can last a few days, if left loose it needs redoing daily.

@LegoCaltrops I just finger comb with conditioner but a wide tooth comb is fine too. Definitely hide the brush - in fact throw it in the bin 😆

Never brush dry, wide-tooth comb when hair is wet and covered in conditioner. Don’t rub with a towel, squeeze out the water with a microfibre towel or old cotton tshirt. A little leave-in conditioner squished through when damp should be enough to style her hair.
Exactly this 👍🏼

Oh and I'm not sure the cantu co wash is curly girl friendly if that's what you're going for?!

You want masses and masses of moisture in the hair to stop it being frizzy.

I thought I had my curly hair sorted and then I bought Ecoslay Banana Cream - supposed to be a deep treatment but I just use it in the shower every time. My hair comes out tangle free and feeling like silk. I don't think I had really understood moisture before then. Despite this, it's still better with a leave in conditioner - curly hair really sucks up moisture.

If it's needing daily detangling then - it isn't moisturised enough (a co-wash and a curl creme prob isn't enough) + she needs a silk pillowcase/bonnet. Brush needs throwing in the bin.

Is any kind of wide tooth comb ok? Or are there different types? I tried asking DH (he's the curly one) but he just said normal brushing is fine as that's what he always used to do even when his hair was long (it was extremely long, and thick).

She wouldn't wear a bonnet, she's far too much of a fidget & has sensory issues, & overheats easily. A silk pillowcase is already on my list of things to buy when I can afford it. If I can find some thick, inexpensive silk I'll make them instead. TBH I'd like silk pillowcases too as I'm bed bound a lot. Bit of luxury.

Any wide tooth comb is fine. Only even use when wet with conditioner

Oh I forgot she also has some Faith In Nature conditioner too, apparently they're CG friendly. But she mostly forgets to use it despite being reminded. The only way to get her to have conditioned hair is to do it myself, really I want her to be doing it by this age or at least having a go. DH or I always help / check she's washed & rinsed properly (she never does). But she wasn't even trying to wash it herself until less than a year ago so we do feel like she needs pushing to do it independently.

@liveforsummer

Any wide tooth comb is fine. Only even use when wet with conditioner

How do we detangle between washes? She only needs it washed about obce a week. DH wouldn't do finger detangling & TBH it's probably too thick & long anyway.

Wet it through with a spray bottle, use a plant one not one used meant for hair as they are far better then comb through with conditioner. Alternatively you could mix conditioner and water up in a spray bottle although I find it doesn't come out very well. I brother little coco's leave in conditioner is cg friendly also. Canti do a curl reviving spray but I wasn't much of a fan. Might be better on very thick hair like your DD's thought

Maui is good also, the " revive and hydrate" pink bottles. Vatika make good products, such as the black seed hair care tub and olive oil spray. I received a tub of special gel for keeping sides straight and that was good. I will find it.

How to detangle between washes - curly hair is hair that you would maintain as a group looking after each other.

Good points- doesn't need washing as often and can just be refreshed each day

Bad points - when you do wash it, it's an event with a lot of care. I see it as my self care time, it could be a child/parent bonding time. However if you ignore it child just hates their hair which is a place a lot of curly haired people have been.

Spray it with water, or a curl reviving spray and go to it with fingers or a wide toothed comb.

If she only needs it washed once a week then conditioner and probably a leave in as well is a must. Doing it all herself at 9 with ASD is prob optimistic (I have ASD and can recall my mum reminding me about conditioner in my late teens).

I don't imagine she'll be able to fully do it all herself yet, or for a while TBH. But until just a few months ago she was still having a tantrum over getting in the shower, standing & refusing to get under the spray, & instead of making any attempt to copy what DH or I did to show her how to wash it herself, she would just hit herself on the head & start throwing herself about - in the wet slippery bath. Honestly I've lost count of the number of times I thought she was going to get hurt. I was still bathing with her at 5 because she wouldn't get in on her own.

Hence the infrequent hair washing. It's a hassle.

Will get some more products, thanks for the recommendations.