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Original poster

DS and buying a new phone

31 replies

mindlingwire · 06/08/2021 21:33

DS who's 21 is looking to upgrade his phone and buy a newer version, he currently has an I Phone 7 and has had his current one for 3 years. Whenever DS is looking to buy a new technological device DH will offer his assistance in looking online for a second hand phone which are still in very good condition and like brand new. The one DS is wanting to buy is around £500- £600 and off amazon and brand new, DH has advised DS he thinks it's a waste of money and too expensive as he's only a student and not earning an income. I think DH intentions is just to offer his opinion but I think DS thinks DH is being a bit interfering and he doesn't need help to buy a phone at 21.

OP posts:
GertietheGherkin · 06/08/2021 21:38

Your DS is 21 years of age. He's an adult. It's nice that he considers input of a constructive nature. Your husband though should keep his nose out though!
If your DS is happy to pay for a phone of his choice that's entirely up to him.
If your husband was putting his hand into his pocket and paying for it, then he'd have possible grounds for concern/ cost.
As it is it's your DS's choice, and his decision to make.

sayanythingelse · 06/08/2021 21:56

Your DH is BU.

I have a friend who buys a new iPhone every release. He spent about £1400 I think on the latest one? That's insanity.
Your son has an older iPhone that he's had for 3 years and is looking for a new one that will probably do him for another few years. He could go cheaper but it sounds like a fair amount for a 21 year old who wants a semi-decent phone.

No offence to your DH either but unless he's into technology, Dad's are kind of renowned for having a brick that they don't even know how to text on Grin

SchrodingersImmigrant · 06/08/2021 22:14

What is he buying it with if he isn't earning?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 06/08/2021 22:15

Ugh. Clicked.

Is dh just trying to "help" or will you guys be paying for it? If former, he is doing taht dad thing😂 annoying, harmless. If latter I am with him

idontlikealdi · 06/08/2021 22:19

Depends whose paying. If DS is, entirely up to him. At 21 he can figure things out for himself.

Original poster
mindlingwire · 06/08/2021 22:20

DS will be paying for it

OP posts:
RaindropsonPiglets · 06/08/2021 22:22

John Lewis if it is an iPhone
Or offer of £50 off £500 at apple on lots of amex cards at the moment

TeaAndBrie · 06/08/2021 23:15

Unless he asked for help from DH I’m sure a 21 year old can do internet research themselves…

Voice0fReason · 06/08/2021 23:18

Your DH needs to keep his opinions to himself unless your DS asks him for his advice.

Unsolicited advice, especially from someone who doesn't even understand the needs, is SO annoying.

Hekatestorch · 06/08/2021 23:24

DH has advised DS he thinks it's a waste of money and too expensive as he's only a student and not earning an income

To be fair, if ds ends up spending his money with no more coming in, who it helping DS with money? It's going to be you and dh.

Ds may have money to spend on this phone, but with no other income it is a huge purchase.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 07/08/2021 00:13

I'd have been thinking wtf if my parents tried telling me what to do at 21 Grin

LtDansleg · 07/08/2021 00:18

@mindlingwire

DS will be paying for it
Then it’s none of your ohs business. It’s only advice if it’s asked for. Your oh is butting in and needs to stop.
CorianderBee · 07/08/2021 00:29

Your husband has no idea what he's doing unless he secretly works in the tech sector. 20-somethings are quite capable of comparing specs with price and finding the best for them.

A phone is the primary source of - social engagement, organisation, education portal access, job apps, entertainment, brand building. At 21 it's his whole fucking digital life. And in many careers your presence now counts. Even if it's just for him... at 21 I had a phone and a laptop... no TV, no consoles, no iPads or watches.

Let alone that he's an adult.

CorianderBee · 07/08/2021 00:30

@RaindropsonPiglets

John Lewis if it is an iPhone Or offer of £50 off £500 at apple on lots of amex cards at the moment
Most 21 year olds are not eligible for an Amex
CorianderBee · 07/08/2021 00:30

@Hekatestorch

DH has advised DS he thinks it's a waste of money and too expensive as he's only a student and not earning an income

To be fair, if ds ends up spending his money with no more coming in, who it helping DS with money? It's going to be you and dh.

Ds may have money to spend on this phone, but with no other income it is a huge purchase.

He will have to get a job/ up his hours like every other student on Earth. Or eat noodles for a month.
SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/08/2021 00:45

Most 21 year olds are not eligible for an Amex
I think there is a basic pretty much accessible to anyone without bad debt history.
I found them bit useless because so many places don't take them. Got mine at 21 with lloyds over a decade ago. They dropped amex few years ago. However, from my experience Amex is really good on cuatomer service and solving issues like refunds institution hasn't refunded.
I am sure there is SOME amex available to 21 year old with no income even. Credit here is quite easy

Aquamarine1029 · 07/08/2021 03:28

Your son can buy what he wants, but if he runs out of money because of the purchase, he needs to live with the consequences.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/08/2021 05:55

@CorianderBee

Your husband has no idea what he's doing unless he secretly works in the tech sector. 20-somethings are quite capable of comparing specs with price and finding the best for them.

A phone is the primary source of - social engagement, organisation, education portal access, job apps, entertainment, brand building. At 21 it's his whole fucking digital life. And in many careers your presence now counts. Even if it's just for him... at 21 I had a phone and a laptop... no TV, no consoles, no iPads or watches.

Let alone that he's an adult.

^^this!

I'm a LOT older than 21😁 and pretty tech savvy... I use my phone LOADS more than my laptop... Ive had one since 1995. I knew if I was always contactable I'd pick up lots of sessional work.. I did! I had a 15 minute MONTHLY allowance then😁.

A lot of my generation view phones as fripperies... As a side issue, I can't even go near the vile comments meted out elsewhere about refugees having modern phones... Wouldn't you want the best most powerful phone of you were trying to keep contact with loved ones displaced across continents by war??!

Its not JUST about Instagram /Facebook.. For many (including me), it is my primary source of communication with everything and everyone... Of course I text my partner fun drivel... Grin, but I've also used it for professional mail/reports - if you haven't used the speech to text dictation function 👍do try it!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/08/2021 05:58

... But at 21 and if he can afford it without starving - think DH should keep out of it..

As an aside, what phone does your DH have?

SarahBellam · 07/08/2021 06:03

Your DS is 21 and he’s done well to run an iPhone 7 for 3 years. He doesn’t need your DH input. If your DS is looking for a good deal get him to look at mobiles.co.uk. Do not buy a refurbished phone. My ex did this to save a few pounds and ended up having to return it 3 times. If it’s new it has a warranty, and is less likely to break down again too.

mumonthehill · 07/08/2021 06:09

My ds 20 bought a very expensive phone last year, I suggested that it might be a bad idea however let him do what he wanted, his money after all. He broke the screen by dropping it, new screen £160, he is now using my old iPhone as he has he cannot afford to fix it. Lesson learned

icedcoffees · 07/08/2021 06:33

It's nothing to do with your DH.

If my dad had tried to tell me what phone I should be buying aged 21 I'd be very Hmm

DS's money, DS's business.

Maray1967 · 07/08/2021 07:48

My DS1 age21 has just spent £500 on a PS5. He’s on his placement year and is earning and has savings. DH & I think it’s silly as he has the PS4 but he budgets carefully so it’s entirely up to him.

RandomLondoner · 07/08/2021 08:13

Do not buy a refurbished phone. My ex did this to save a few pounds and ended up having to return it 3 times.

I'm on my 5th pre-owned device, none of them arrived with any issues. All except one are still in the house in working order, the only exception is a £100 LG phone that only lasted me 2.5 years before it died. I think I got my money's worth.

My current phone is a second-most up-to-date model and cost me just over £200 refurbished, a year earlier it would have cost me £500 new.

LIZS · 07/08/2021 08:24

If ds is paying , it is his choice.

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